She ate all the biscuits

[Imissmusic]

I got a pack of chocolate chip cookies for today after dinner for everyone to have a few-Dd has a balanced diet but we don’t have a dessert or biscuits, crisps etc every night or in the house that often-more on weekends or if we bake something.
I hid the rest of the biscuits away for another day.
I went to have a shower, when Dd came up to bed, she told me she looked everywhere for them, found them and ate them.

Would you be cross? She’s 7

I'd be annoyed (and tell her so) because it meant that there wasn't any left for anyone else, and that's rude. I'd say that it was good to own up to it, though.

I disagree that it has to be a scarcity thing. Some kids are sweet tooths, and it needs to have some limits or they won't eat anything else. Others just aren't as interested.

I’d ask her about what she did and why she did it - I’d be careful not to try to shame her over this - it’s potentially the start of an unhealthy relationship with food which through insensitive handling you could make worse. No anger, no all guns blazing - you won’t help, you will just shame her.

I'm going to go against the grain here about the whole concept of "treat foods" and question whether children should have free unfettered access to ultra processed food. I'm an adult who has issues with food and has had to use WLI to get that under control. I've also been through it with DS2 (now 16)

I can't allow UPF crap into my diet, because over time, the combination of what's in it plus my brain chemistry will create cravings, increase my hunger and reduce my ability to regulate my food intake. DS2 (who is also AuDHD like me) is similar to me and your DD and if that food was around, no matter what we did, he couldn't self regulate with it. He's into competitive sports now and has had a lot of education from his coaches about performance nutrition, so his attitude towards it has changed. In fact it was because he wanted to change his diet to help his sporting performance that we started changing what came into the house and really realising the effects for ourselves. DS16 realised for himself that he would eat that sort of food if it was there and had no off switch. Coming off it, for him and for me, was like a detox of sorts, both of us like bears with sore heads. DH and DS1, who don't have the same wiring (autistic, no ADHD and neither have these same food issues) were utterly confounded by it as it didn't affect them at all.

I'm no longer on WLI and as long as I stay away from UPF, I have no issues with overeating, but as soon as I start letting it creep back in, the same problems start reoccurring.

If your DD has a problem with this type of food, why buy it? Does it need to come into the house at all? Our bodies don't need this ultra processed crap - it's not a treat, it's fake food that's manufactured to be calorie dense and hyper palatable and it is deliberately designed to be overeaten. If this food has a negative effect on DD, you as the adult can choose whether or not you have it available to her. I honestly wish I'd just stopped buying it (and eating it!) when DS2 was younger and we were in utter despair over his sugar craving induced tantrums. Didn't matter what we did or what system we introduced to moderate it, if it was there, he wanted more, more, more.

If others in the house want to eat it and don't have an issue then it's harder though, everyone has to be on board. In that case, you could opt to buy single serve packs of these foods only and once the one portion is gone, it's gone.

I’d be upset with my 5 year old if he did this, never mind a 7 year old. He would know not to wolf down a packet of biscuits like that. Odd behaviour. Your dh needs to open his eyes a bit though. She must have really gone to town on then not to have been noticed?

Now I really have heard it all.

Totally agree but this is MN where disagreeing with the Op is now the norm.

I woul be be pretty cross, this used to be called greed but likely emotional over eating / impulse control issues

I think her hunting down sweet food to eat bizarre actually. Mine would take one or two but making their mission to find and eat the whole lot. Yes that would be a problem! And those posters insinuating OP is mean for not letting her eat whole packets of biscuits or whole cakes 😂 wtf.

You’re so right. People eat full packets of biscuits, sharing bags of crisps etc.
No one goes home and secretly smashes their way through a salad bag and 6 apples.
It’s the labelling of food as good and bad, healthy and unhealthy etc that makes our minds see it differently.
Notably the OP hides biscuits. I wonder if she hides tomatoes or apples. Even without the food labelling, the child is seeing and noticing the difference.
Add into that such foods being high in sugar and fat which is very palatable and hits the spot. Recipe for disaster.

And if it’s gone in a day it’s gone. Nothing until the following week. It could teach her about portions and saving stuff so she gets to have one every day.

A 7 year old shouldn’t be doing this and needs to be told it is selfish and greedy.

The good thing is that she told you, she didn’t keep it a secret. You want her to be feel she can keep coming to you when she has done something she shouldn’t, not feel ashamed or judged or fear being told off.

You can still talk to her about moderation and asking you first next time.

*if she wants a snack!

Children do this when its been heavily restricted as young children. They learn that sweet treats will only appear rarely and to gorge on them when they do appear.

Its a biological instinct.

Upf are bad though. Instead of shop bought things try and just have occasional home baked things but don't over restrict.

I agree on Marylands being moreish and full of UPF. If you have to buy I would get richer fresh biscuits actually, like the fresh triple chocolate ones from Sainsburys or biscuits with nuts or flapjacks etc, so she is sated quicker. And talk to her more about enjoying them and listening to your body about when to stop when you’re full.

My second child is like this. If I buy anything sweet (cake/biscuits,etc) she will eat it all without permission whether it's left out or hidden. My older child would never have done this, and would ask. Its infuriating because no one else gets to eat their share because she will have eaten it sneakily when no one is around. I can't add treats to weekly shop as they will be gone in a day. I haven't found a solution other than simply not buying them.

We have what we fancy and nothing is off limits but I don’t tend to buy any crisps, biscuits and sweets as part of the weekly shop-should I be?

Its your choice but lots of families would have a couple of packets of biscuits & some crisps in the trolley each week & kids would regularly have something after school, and would have a small dessert after a lot of meals. My kids used to hate it going for playdates at the houses with parents who never gave pudding after tea as at home they'd have home made rice pudding or apple crumble.

We have a cupboard with biscuits & crisps in, they know they have to ask before helping themselves and know to take one or two not whole packs. They are both very skinny And happily eat veg and healthy meals.

I can't add treats to weekly shop as they will be gone in a day.

What consequences do you impose if she does this? Mine might have done this once as young kids & would have faced a big punishment, damn sure they wouldn't have done it again.

We don't gorge on apples because they are real food - satiety kicks in.

UPFs are designed to override your hunger signals, so you gorge and they sell more.

I hid the rest of the biscuits away for another day

OP also went for a shower, would you not leave a 7 year old whilst you went for a shower? Does OP really then need to walk back downstairs or to wherever the child is to walk her to bed?

Honestly OP, human beings just have different levels of food drive. DP and I grew up on completely opposite houses in terms of treat availability, and yet we have similar food drives now and his brother is the opposite of him.

I wouldn't be happy with my 7 year old if she did that, but I also would understand it. We would probably have a conversation about fairness and making sure there's enough for everyone, rather than about food.

You wouldn’t actually tell your child “you’re greedy and selfish” though surely?

Did you miss my point about food labelling? It’s a contributor to this sort of eating pattern.
High sugar and fats food is very palatable and not especially filling. So we can eat any amount of it plus it’s delicious! But labelling it as a treat or keeping it locked away and hidden doesn’t help anyone creating their own ability to moderate.
Maybe the daughter needs teaching about 80/20 or food being referred to as “most of the time food” and “some of the time food”.
It’s certainly not ideal that she eats a full packet of biscuits but there are so many contributors to that behaviour that it’s not that simple.
I’ve found that a lot of it is rooted in thought processes and that’s what needs to be overcome.

@Malasana I ate a punnet and a half of nectarines as a child and made myself feel very sick.

Oh bless you. You should have had the biscuits instead 🤣