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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

She ate all the biscuits

565 replies

Imissmusic · 19/03/2026 21:24

I got a pack of chocolate chip cookies for today after dinner for everyone to have a few-Dd has a balanced diet but we don’t have a dessert or biscuits, crisps etc every night or in the house that often-more on weekends or if we bake something.
I hid the rest of the biscuits away for another day.
I went to have a shower, when Dd came up to bed, she told me she looked everywhere for them, found them and ate them.

Would you be cross? She’s 7

OP posts:
WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 20/03/2026 09:30

Happyjoe · 20/03/2026 09:24

Children are allowed to make mistakes are they not? Why would you say people who are being reasonable, understanding that children are still learning about control and permission must have no control over food themselves?

Quite the leap.

I think rooting around looking for hidden food is about as deliberate as it gets actually.

Malasana · 20/03/2026 09:30

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 20/03/2026 08:51

No I wouldn't be happy about this and at 7 she is hardly a 'small child'. At 7 you understand what it is to be selfish. I feel all the posters minimising this have no self control themselves. We buy maybe one two packs of biscuits at the weekend at it gets shared out equally between all of us. I would be really dissappointed if my 8 year old did this as he knows better.

If you’re referring to me, I’m not
minimising it. I’m saying it needs to be dealt with carefully and sensitively as creating guilt and shame around food can lead to a lifelong poor relationship with food.
I struggle with a poor relationship with food myself due to how food was treated and spoken about when I was a child but sure, I have no self control. Thanks for that.

CurlewKate · 20/03/2026 09:32

Why did you hide them?

Happyjoe · 20/03/2026 09:32

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 20/03/2026 09:30

I think rooting around looking for hidden food is about as deliberate as it gets actually.

Lol, so you've never known a 7 year old to be naughty? Never? You may find that being naughty is a deliberate act.

It still doesn't mean that all the posters here who understand a child can be naughty has an issue themselves with food! It's such a leap of imagination.

Wolffie17 · 20/03/2026 09:35

Imissmusic · 19/03/2026 22:00

Is it really that deep 😬 I mean she’s 7 and loves chocolate and sweets. I hate sweets now but remember overdosing on chocolate mice at a party once

No, it may not be that deep, but you were the one who posted on Mumsnet so I thought I’d share my experience.

WhatAboutSecondBreakfast86 · 20/03/2026 09:37

Happyjoe · 20/03/2026 09:32

Lol, so you've never known a 7 year old to be naughty? Never? You may find that being naughty is a deliberate act.

It still doesn't mean that all the posters here who understand a child can be naughty has an issue themselves with food! It's such a leap of imagination.

Yes of course it is naughty but that doesn't mean they should get away with it, what is that going to teach them? Naughtiness comes with a punishment or for a more modern term, 'consequence'.
My DH is an ex sugar addict who grew up in a sweetshop, he and his sister would regularly steal sweets and chocolate and the parents turned a blind eye. He gave up as an adult as he was on his way to getting diabetes.

Luckyingame · 20/03/2026 09:43

No, I wouldn't be cross. That wouldn't be my solution to this "problem".

Gymnopediegivesmethewillies · 20/03/2026 09:44

Bit late to the thread, but you are correct that the issue is boundaries. It’s not about them being treats, it’s about them not being healthy, therefore we need to restrict them in our diet and your daughter is old enough to understand that. My children wouldn’t have just taken them (although they would and do now but they’re 22!), so that is a different conversation. Don’t hide them, explain we don’t eat the whole packet because they aren’t great for our teeth and are poor nutrition and also that it’s not okay to sneak food, that you aren’t being mean, you are limiting them for her health. If she doesn’t understand then perhaps don’t buy some for a while?

Second idea, my dad used to do the grocery shopping once a week and my sister and I used to be given a 6 pack of Walkers crisps to share and I would have a 3 pack of Flakes and she a 3 pack of Double Deckers. We could eat them when we liked but once they were gone, they were gone for the week. Taught about self restraint!

CrazyGoatLady · 20/03/2026 09:50

Runningtokeepstilll · 20/03/2026 08:19

Why not tell them it is greedy and selfish behaviour?

Because that's an unnecessarily mean thing to say to a wee 7 year old!

You can discuss the impact of behaviour without labelling it, like "if you take all the biscuits, there's none left for others to have tomorrow - do you think that's fair?" or state clear boundaries and consequences, like "if you want more of the family's shared biscuits, you need to ask me or your dad first, you can't take them without asking. If you take them without asking again, we won't buy them any more. Here are some other foods you can have as much as you like of and you don't have to ask"

Tulipsriver · 20/03/2026 09:54

I wouldn't be 'cross', who hasn't wanted to eat a pack of biscuits at one time or another, but I would use it as an opportunity to teach her that this behaviour is inappropriate.

Just calmly tell her that food is for everyone and you shouldn't take more than your fair share-especially if it's a treat food.

If she already knows this, I'd make her replace them. If she genuinely wouldn't have realised, just let her know for the future.

Having set rules can help when children are young. Maybe talk about what a portion looks like for different things, and have a rule of only one portion at a time? Or always ask a parent before eating the last of anything (to check everyone has already had some)?

I wouldn't be overly worried from a health perspective if you don't usually have lots of sugary foods available.

ShinyNewName1988 · 20/03/2026 10:01

Some kids are like this, I think some posters don’t realise what it’s like to have a kid with no ‘off’ switch. At some point, you have to put in some restrictions, whether that’s a healthy way to think about food or not. Plus, they do need to develop an awareness that eating all of the biscuits/whatever means that other people don’t get a share, and that’s selfish.

My DS is like this with certain snacks/foods. Not biscuits but say we had raisins, dried mango, satsumas or a certain type of cake in the house, he would eat vast quantities left to his own devices. And we let him have a moderate amount of something sweet each day, served up just like any other food, and say ‘that’s to last the whole family for x days, so no more today’ instead of framing it as a treat. Obviously I have never framed satsumas as a ‘treat’ as to me they’re just a regular food and not something I could ever imagine overindulging in. But he likes what he likes, and was still highly motivated to eat large amounts of his favourite snacks. Dried fruit is a particular issue, but I don’t want to
just stop buying it altogether because it’s his favourite food 🤦🏼‍♀️

I would stop hiding the biscuits, that’s almost turning it into a game and sending the message ‘you are unable to resist eating the biscuits, so mummy has to hide them’ and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I’d have a conversation with her about boundaries, explaining that eating all of something that is meant to be shared is unkind because then nobody else gets their share. If she says well just buy more, remind her that food costs money and the food you buy is meant to last the week. Explain that there will be a consequence if she hunts down and consumes food when you’ve said no more today, stop hiding the biscuits and follow through if she then eats them all. I did something similar with DS, saying that the raisins/whatever were meant to provide a whole week of lunchboxes, so there would be consequences if he ate the lot when I’d told him not to. One of those consequences might be a very dodgy tummy. You don’t want her to develop shame over eating so maybe make it clear the consequences are for ignoring your instructions, not for eating per se. But she is old enough to understand why it’s not on to eat a whole packet of biscuits meant for everyone.

I also wonder if she’s eating enough at mealtimes. My DS found sitting at the table boring and would say he was full quickly, plus he’d rather have snacks later. This became a big problem because it carried over into school, he was barely eating at lunchtime and came home ready to snap with hanger. It was tricky to deal with as I have eating issues from being forced to clear my plate. We dealt with it by serving up a week of his favourite dinners and saying even if you’re not eating, you need to stay at the table and participate in the conversation. By the end of the week, he was back in the habit of eating a full meal and that has majorly reduced his preoccupation with snacks.

PrettyLies · 20/03/2026 10:04

Imissmusic · 19/03/2026 21:32

Have done that with cereal boxes, took her longer to find, but she has found them before…she looks everywhere 😂

This says it all.

You really need to relax your rules about food. She’ll end up with issues; whether you can see that now or not. Ask me how I know!

PrettyLies · 20/03/2026 10:04

Lynchpinny · 19/03/2026 21:32

Good lass, I like her style.

But yes, I’d be very very angry.

Crikey 😬

Bikergran · 20/03/2026 10:06

Imissmusic · 19/03/2026 21:32

Have done that with cereal boxes, took her longer to find, but she has found them before…she looks everywhere 😂

In that case, if it really bothers you, just buy those little bags of cookies next time, so there are no leftovers. However, I do wonder if this very conscious hiding of sweet foods is promoting an unhealthy relationship with them. Once she gets older with her own pocket money and less supervision, you may be turning her into a secret eater, ie bags of sweets etc on the way home from school.

PrettyLies · 20/03/2026 10:06

sploshsplash · 19/03/2026 21:34

Unfortunately I feel like this is the result of making treat food such a big deal.

Yep.

I have chocolate, sweets and crisps all within easy reach and always have.

My daughter never eats chocolate, rarely eats sweets and will help herself to an occasional bag of crisps.

Lighten up OP. You’re creating a problem.

PrettyLies · 20/03/2026 10:14

Imissmusic · 19/03/2026 21:57

She probably came to tell me as she knew she shouldn’t have. I don’t know…is it so strange for a child to want to eat chocolate chip biscuits and to be massively tempted? Probably not

It is a bit unusual OP. It’s the sneaky behaviour, not just having a pack in front of her and eating it. My child will always ask if she can have one more etc. She always has, but then I’ve never hidden food and cakes and sweets have never been treated as a novelty.

Perhaps she just needs some help with self control, and you need to relax a bit to make “treats” less of a novelty.

PrettyLies · 20/03/2026 10:16

Namechangerage · 19/03/2026 22:02

Why was DH not stopping her searching for and eating said biscuits?!?!

He probably helped her 😂

I expect he’s forbidden from the treat food too 😂

Runningtokeepstilll · 20/03/2026 10:48

CrazyGoatLady · 20/03/2026 09:50

Because that's an unnecessarily mean thing to say to a wee 7 year old!

You can discuss the impact of behaviour without labelling it, like "if you take all the biscuits, there's none left for others to have tomorrow - do you think that's fair?" or state clear boundaries and consequences, like "if you want more of the family's shared biscuits, you need to ask me or your dad first, you can't take them without asking. If you take them without asking again, we won't buy them any more. Here are some other foods you can have as much as you like of and you don't have to ask"

This is why children and young adults are self centred and have no resilience these days.

Imissmusic · 20/03/2026 10:57

Fentons · 20/03/2026 09:28

Then it's maybe dopamine seeking, does she have difficulty with screen time? or other things that are maybe regulating her? Does she self soothe in any other way that you might know of?
I used to have to have complete quiet time after school to decompress, which my family thought weird, but after a day masking It was very necessary, I didn't know I was trying to regulate and calm my brain at the time, same as I didn't know why I would try to eat a whole packet of biscuits, I would also go to the other extreme and not eat, because I liked the feeling of hunger too.

Yes this sounds quite familiar, do you have adhd?

OP posts:
TheTwenties · 20/03/2026 10:58

When my 1st DC was a toddler we would hide the fruit bowl if we went anywhere that kept fruit out. I realised quite quickly that wasn’t the answer. Had to go through the process of teaching DC that taking food is not okay regardless of what it is. I think DD needs to learn what a healthy relationship with food looks like. Hiding things or not buying them isn’t the answer.

Fentons · 20/03/2026 11:40

Imissmusic · 20/03/2026 10:57

Yes this sounds quite familiar, do you have adhd?

Yes, I have audhd, but late diagnoses, so all the behavior that was classed as weird or naughty when I was a child in normative terms were down to the fact that I couldn't regulate, or was seeking some kind of relief.
One instance was I was made to wear clothes that made me feel ill because I couldn't cope with the sensory discomfort, but I couldn't push back because it was the seventies and my mother didn't understand, I was called ungrateful and spoiled.
It is worth pursuing if there's a lot of other behaviours apart from the biscuit stealing, not least because it's soul destroying to be constantly told you're naughty, or anti social, or weird when all you're trying to do is regulate.

Imissmusic · 20/03/2026 11:59

Fentons · 20/03/2026 11:40

Yes, I have audhd, but late diagnoses, so all the behavior that was classed as weird or naughty when I was a child in normative terms were down to the fact that I couldn't regulate, or was seeking some kind of relief.
One instance was I was made to wear clothes that made me feel ill because I couldn't cope with the sensory discomfort, but I couldn't push back because it was the seventies and my mother didn't understand, I was called ungrateful and spoiled.
It is worth pursuing if there's a lot of other behaviours apart from the biscuit stealing, not least because it's soul destroying to be constantly told you're naughty, or anti social, or weird when all you're trying to do is regulate.

So sorry you went through that, thank you for the insight ❤️

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 20/03/2026 12:11

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 20/03/2026 08:51

Another time, hide them more successfully!

I rarely buy biscuits, because TBH I only really like a couple of varieties, so when I do buy them, I will typically scoff the lot within 24 hours. Or even within 12.
So I certainly couldn’t get cross with a 7 year old biscuit-scoffer.

Hide more successfully? You can hide them, but only time will tell if that’s successful or not.

I do wonder what sort of free for all home some people live, in where food is eaten unless it’s hidden.

Learning about deferred gratification and house rules is an essential part of growing up. As is respecting boundaries. This child was perfectly well aware that she shouldn’t have taken it. That’s why she told her mother that she had.

You keep things out of the way of dogs, cats and toddlers. Everybody else has to learn that just because you see it, you do not take it.

Coconutter24 · 20/03/2026 13:18

Namechangerage · 20/03/2026 07:40

No OP’s shower wasn’t a problem. But there was another adult there who was ignoring her by the sound of it. I can’t imagine sitting downstairs watching tv and my kid going to get all the cookies and eating them and not noticing or saying what are you doing, and then letting my kid take themselves up to bed, but each to their own.

I’m not saying the shower was a problem, it wasn’t, her DD is 7 not 2 she’s old enough to be left to entertain herself. Even if there is another adult in the house a 7 year old doesn’t need 24/7 watching. 7 is old enough to go get a snack by themselves, 7 is also old enough to know if mum puts something away for another day they’re not to be touched. The DD didn’t take herself to bed OP called her upstairs

Daftypants · 20/03/2026 17:56

It is very cheeky of her since they were meant for sharing And that’s what I’d say .