To not really enjoy family life?

[groundhoglet]

I have a 6 year old and an almost 1 year old. The baby doesn't sleep well so neither do I. I love them both and they are both great but the shouting and noise in the evening after I've been at work all day is almost unbearable. I find myself getting grumpy with them and trying to get away from them and then I feel really sad about it. Last night the 6 year old spent the night away at a school trip and it was so calm and easy with just the one, even though she had a bout of gastroentiritis. I feel terrible saying it and I love the baby so much but I probably should have stuck to one. Does anyone relate to this?

Is there no dad?

Get loop earplugs. It will pass

Yes absolutely.

Mine are teens now and I wish on a weekly basis that I'd stuck to one child!

Yes @ToKittyornottoKitty but since he doesn't shout or cry he's the least of my problems

Shame he doesn’t help out with the baby at night though?

Hard relate OP. You’ll get through it. Or get used to it 😭 my youngest never slept (she doesn’t sleep through at 7) and I just don’t know how I got through it looking back. Well, I didn’t really. I was a hot mess. It’ll pass x

DH needs to help out here . There is no reason for a 6 year old to be shouting . He needs to reinforce this . Divide and conquer . It does pass .

Doesn’t help that much when they wake the whole house anyway

we always took it in turns but every other night was enough to break you anyway

I agree. She didn’t say that though

Sorry edited my whole post didn’t upload

if she didn’t say that then no reason to assume either way 😁

Not sure why you want to police a valid comment that doesn’t criticise the OP in any way, but ok!

Yeah, I did the first 9 months because of breastfeeding but now we take turns, but she still comes in to feed at 6am and even with earplugs she wakes me up so @Itsmetheflamingo is right. There's no need to assume the worst about the dad

I read somewhere that the definition of family life is someone is always fucking it up for everyone else at any one time. Made me laugh. It will pass OP you’re in the trenches with little ones, these are tough times. X

I didn’t assume the worst… I asked a basic question and made a comment that didn't criticise you. Considering you are unhappy with family life asking about your partner isn’t that weird.

Yeah youre right sorry... I'm so tired I don't even know my own name

Why are they shouting? Is it just normal child exuberance or is there another reason? Children are noisy full stop and I think you should have known that before you had them.

I found that plenty of playing in the garden after school or in the afternoon tired them out and they would be calmer and ready for bed in the evening. They had a swing, climbing frame, slide, ride on toys, sandpit and I just had to accept the grass would be mud in the winter.

Are you working full time? I feel like this on work days, I think it's normal to not find it enjoyable. I get home around 6 then it's a rush to do tea, homework, baths and bedtime routine. Children are over stimulated and probably over tired, DH and I are tired. Weekends are more enjoyable, unless we're booked up with events we don't really want to go to!

My husband helped out loads with the night wakings, and actually did most of that with our youngest after he turned one because I'd had enough by that point. But I was still exhausted. By all means ask if a partner helps, but no need to make assumptions.

We already had this chat. OP said she didn’t like family life, I enquired about the dad who is 25% of that life. Odd how people are being funny about that but nobody is bothered about the poster who told OP she ‘should have realised kids were noisy before she had them’.

Also… it was a question.

Can you cut your hours at work at all OP?

er? @ToKittyornottoKitty you said “shame he doesn’t help out”- that’s not a question, that’s an assumption.

anyway it’s not a big deal but it’s annoying when people think a second adult is the answer to the sometimes utter misery of early family life.

@10namechangeslater I would love to but it's not possible at the moment. @ExOptimist ok but we live in a small flat

Relate SO much.

I have a five year old ds and a two year old dd and I find them individually delightful. It is only very recently I’ve started finding them together not as exhausting and relentless, as they’ve started to play together a bit more.

But I have worried and stressed over this, as it just feels so easy and so much simpler with just one (and pretty much all my friends have only one child too - their lives seem so comparatively calm!)

? = question. Opening discussion and asking questions isn’t assuming. OP said she wasn’t happy with family life, not parenthood, wondering if her partner is included in that is perfectly normal.