To not really enjoy family life?

55 replies

groundhoglet · 19/03/2026 19:20

I have a 6 year old and an almost 1 year old. The baby doesn't sleep well so neither do I. I love them both and they are both great but the shouting and noise in the evening after I've been at work all day is almost unbearable. I find myself getting grumpy with them and trying to get away from them and then I feel really sad about it. Last night the 6 year old spent the night away at a school trip and it was so calm and easy with just the one, even though she had a bout of gastroentiritis. I feel terrible saying it and I love the baby so much but I probably should have stuck to one. Does anyone relate to this?

OP posts:

BabyBabyBaby4433 · 20/03/2026 22:15

SouthLondonMum22 · 20/03/2026 22:05

There's quite a few options and it doesn't necessarily mean leaving them to cry but just be aware that those options will likely take longer.

Pick up/put down is the one I used which is pretty much what it says on the tin. Put them down, pick them up if the cry and once settled, put them down again and repeat until they stay asleep.

There's also a well used one which does involve a bit of crying but doesn't involve just walking away and leaving them to it. You go back to check in timed intervals so after 2 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes etc to reassure them that you are still there. This can be very effective.

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What happens if they don't stop crying? Like, I pick up toddler, he's still crying in my arms, I put him down, he's still crying. What then?

SouthLondonMum22 · 20/03/2026 23:21

BabyBabyBaby4433 · 20/03/2026 22:15

What happens if they don't stop crying? Like, I pick up toddler, he's still crying in my arms, I put him down, he's still crying. What then?

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If a child is prone to crying for a significant length of time, even if they are picked up and comforted then it probably won't be a suitable method for them.

Not every method will suit a child which is a reason why so many different sleep training methods exist.

It did work really well for all 3 of mine but I did start it when they were younger than OP's child and age can make a difference too.

Revoltingpheasants · 21/03/2026 06:31

BabyBabyBaby4433 · 20/03/2026 21:58

Setting aside the shitty passive aggresiveness of this comment. What gigantic house do you live in? I've seen this advice many times: OH should help at night.

My DH is currently handling all night wakes. All of them (luckily it's not that many anymore). I still wake up every single time. I'm properly woken up. I have a 1,500 square feet house and quite good insulation. I even use ear plugs. But a screaming toddler at 2am just goes right through me. No way can I sleep through it. And i find it very difficult to go back to sleep, just like DH.

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I always think this when I see these posts on here. ‘Get DH up.’ Yeah so I can lie awake through a screaming child who wakes her sibling too when I can settle the child myself in minutes …?

SugarC · 21/03/2026 07:13

I swear it gets easier. I have a 5 year age gap between mine and for a while I was bogged down with the guilty thoughts of "why did we do all this again?" 😔
Now they are 16 & 11 - still have a range of different needs but less screaming and more sleeping (thank the lord!)
Right now you will probably feel like you are almost in survival mode? Connect with other parents if possible. We had a group of parents who would meet at random times and we would decompress over a coffee and a whinge now and again. They became a bit of a life line during the harder times (especially when my DS was a toddler and FERAL) but it was nice to know I wasn't the only one finding some things hard (if that makes sense?) and sometimes they would offer tips and tricks to help which was also very helpful.

Itsmetheflamingo · 21/03/2026 09:06

BabyBabyBaby4433 · 20/03/2026 22:15

What happens if they don't stop crying? Like, I pick up toddler, he's still crying in my arms, I put him down, he's still crying. What then?

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Sleep training never worked for our children. Not even a hint of it working.

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