Was I greedy to expect more?

[ChangePrivacyQuestion]

Please excuse me, got a slight cold, so might actually be totally unreasonable here.

Had a big birthday yesterday.

My husband got all flabbergasted when I expected anything, seeing that we went for a Sunday lunch on Mother's day, and I got a present and a card "from DD(2)". When I reminded him I could just celebrate father's day in lieu of his birthday, he went out and got me a small Tesco cake and a B&Q voucher. Just opened my email and there's an afternoon tea voucher from MIL, bought this morning.

My own parents forgot to call until today. One sister called yesterday, 2 texted, brother ignored me (but nothing new there).

3 friends texted, 1 is excused (dealing with cancer), the others... nothing.

I work in an office where never a week goes by without a kitty and a card signature. Big birthdays usually get you a balloon, too. There's a spreadsheet with everyone's birthday and I got asked what I'm doing for mine. Yesterday - not so much as a dm.

Am I right in thinking sod it - next year I'm taking DD and going to Rome and to xyz with the rest of them?

I admit I'm disappointed.

Is your husband always so completely thoughtless?

Such poor effort from everyone!!! I’d be upset too. I’d be doing a similar effort for your DH’s birthday in further and wouldn’t be contributing to any other work celebrations.

Plan a trip for next year for sure.

Does your DH even like you?

Fuck him, plan a belated trip for this year.

That's really shit of all of them.
I had a big birthday last week, we are skint right now financially and i am also pregnant so no big parties etc but my DH still made the effort to get the kids a present each from them, paid for me to get my hair done, cards, cake and a lovely meal with friends organised. There is no excuse. Go all out next year and stuff them all!

Fuck waiting for next year, do it now, take off for the weekend, buy yourself a present and don't make any effort for his.

I agree with pps, buy yourself a massively expensive present.

And happy birthday!

I wouldn't be contributing to any more kittys at work.

And Happy Birthday for yesterday

Happy Birthday OP! Enjoy Rome next year - because your DH has not done anything like enough and I'd be taking myself off for some fun.

Thank you. I didn't know if I was expecting too much/needed to give myself a wobble. At least I can fume in peace now and start looking at TripAdvisor.

A B&Q voucher? 😳

I'd be really upset too, YANBU. Book Rome.

This may sound dramatic but I just don't think I could be married to someone who treated me like that. I would rather be single.

B&Q voucher? Smashing. That's the spade and concrete for the patio sorted.
Alibi always available here op.. Make sure it's one grudge you hold onto until dh's birthday..

Agree on the husband and family. Match their energy on future birthdays.

At work I would say, before it gets too much later 'can I check what date you have for me on the birthday spreadsheet because I think I've been missed?' It's fair if others get things. Someone might just have had a bad week and it's more excusable - but still fair to raise it.

I’d be pretty fucking pissed off with a B&Q voucher for my birthday!

Fuck ‘em all. Happy Birthday! 🎈Take yourself out on the weekend and treat yourself to something nice.

A B&Q voucher?!!
Fricking hell 😱🤣

Don't wait until next year, go away for Easter. At least do a spa day with all the extras. Happy birthday 🎂

Happy birthday @ChangePrivacyQuestion 🎉🎉🎉
I’m sorry - a fucking B&Q voucher?
I’d buy a BBQ to burn his clothes
then piss off to Rome this weekend with your daughter.

Book Rome for next week. Your “D” H is a shit. Give him exactly the same present on his birthday.

I’d also be pissed off with my colleagues.
What went on there / with the spreadsheet?
Why was your birthday missed?

B and Q voucher! He might as well have bought you a new yard brush. Ridiculous.

Make sure you match this energy on fathers day and his birthday.

Go to Rome with your dd this year! For the big birthday!

Tell DH you don’t want a B&Q voucher and ask him for the money as a contribution instead.

Also don’t contribute to any more work kitties.

Tbh though, since I’ve been divorced and responsible for my own birthdays they’ve gone a lot better!

B&Q???

Fucking hell. I feel for you OP but I just couldn’t see how this would happen in our house. I’d be talking about a big birthday (presumably your 30th or 40th) for months in advance. I’d be saying ‘Right for my 40th, I think the three of us should go away the weekend before, on the actual day my Mum and Dad can come round for champagne and a slice of cake. I want a little bit of a fuss so you can sort balloons and a banner and all that. I quite fancy one of those White Company candles and a new coat and if my sister asks what I want tell her XYZ perfume or a voucher for M&S. I’ll send you a link to something I’ve seen in such and such shop too.

Maybe I’m self absorbed but we TALK about birthdays. My DH is 50 next year, he’s been chatting about what he wants to do, my Mum is 80 in the summer and has been making grand plans with her mates. Our silver wedding isn’t for years but it coincides with a big birthday of one of the kids so we want to celebrate both and do something special.

A big birthday wouldn’t just suddenly come around having never been talked about.