AIBU to think parents should stop emailing school about everything?

[Teachingiscrazy]

I know the government are attempting to try and stop the rudeness from parents which I totally agree with but also, I really think parents need to stop involving school in everything.
This week , my friend was chatting over dinner saying her year 8 son wanted to try art club but he was worried he would be the only boy and he was nervous about finding the room. At dinner my friend said she had emailed the teacher so the teacher could find him, have a chat and reassure. This is for a lunchtime art club!
Surely just talk it through with your child yourself and give him some coping skills ! That poor teacher now has another job, an email to reply to, a child's emotional resilience to manage , all for a club they are running in their lunchtime . I've had parents email me to ask me to talk to their child as they won't brush their teeth at night, could I go and meet their child at the end of the corridor as they find the corridor overwhelming (presumably I leave the other 25 kids in the room) I've had parental emails over the smallest of things that parents could do. GGRR rant over
Ps before we do MN bingo. No ND in these examples

Your school needs to stop giving out teacher emails. At our school emails are sent to a general email address, and are then filtered as necessary to the relevant people by the office staff. We found that once parents knew they couldn’t directly send emails to teaching staff, the volume of emails greatly reduced.

Yes we have asked for this

Very serious issues (bullying etc) aside, I take the view that I have 3 opportunities to contact the school per year and ask for something. I've never used them all, but it certainly focuses my mind!

@Teachingiscrazy did you actually do these requests?

Brushing teeth: replied and said if she was worried take to dentist
Corridor : no
There have been many others that we have pandered to. I'm hoping there's a sea change soon

I think you have a valid point and I will try to send fewer emails. The teacher sometimes responds immediately and sometimes it’s days later which I have no issue with.
The class WhatsApp group is pretty useful for people to discuss school issues but there are some parents who seem to get upset about everything.
They emailed the school complaining about any issue on behalf of all the parents and I felt so uncomfortable, I emailed the school to say I’m not part of it and I’m really grateful for everything they do.

Yeah that's just too much. Like they want the teacher to be as personally invested in their child as they are.

It's like would you be if you were underpaid to care for thirty kids with vastly varying needs who aren't your own?!

If someone's (presumably non SEN) child is so scared to be in the same room as the opposite sex in a mixed school to the point they won't join a club unless there's only their own sex present then the parents need to take the child to a therapist. Or just tell the kid to treat both sexes the same.

Thank you , I wasn't trying to cast aspersions or be mean. I actually think it's adding to kids anxiety too as every little thing needs so much input. In the art club case , that boy could have learned to go to a room, look in, assess and leave if he didn't like it. Now even going to a room has likely had a conversation at home, 2 adults involved and another conversation to see how it went . It's looking in a door for 20 seconds , or going to an art club for half an hour.

The personally invested thing is spot on!!

At our school parents could only email the office or Headteacher, not individual teachers.
We got a new head who thought it would be more parent friendly to give out teachers' email addresses but we refused.

In work in a primary school and we were literally saying today that parents expect us to parent their kids. We have seen a massive shift in this regard over the last ten years. We are a small, nurturing and caring school who I feel already goes above and beyond, but to some parents it’s still not enough.

I'm half agreeing with you.
The requests you cite are all ridiculous, and over the line. There's definitely too many personal requests from parents.
However schools now are also a bit ridiculous, and I find I have to email to ask for clarification on a lot of complex, last-minute requests from school. Or I have to email to reiterate things that have already been discussed (like missing PE when injured).

So I think both sides need to sort themselves out.

I’m a school office manager.

I REALLY want to show you the emails we get. They make me laugh with how entitled the requests are. I’d love to show you, but I’d be sacked!

It rubs off on the children…. So rude and expect the world to revolve around them.

Obviously not all, but a vast majority.

Yeah we have noticed the never enough thing. It's like the more you give, the more people want. This week , I had a student in a lesson who told me she was feeling sick and anxious. I reseated her, took her out, my lsa made her a cup of tea etc she came back in, and got on with the lesson. Next thing, can she wear headphones as noise in the room was distracting. I said no . Tears. Then end of lesson can she leave early .again no. The more you give, the more you can give. Its like the skill of 'fair Play' or ' I've had a good deal here so I'll leave it at that' has gone

I vote for everyone getting off email and returning to paper letters and notes in the homework planner

I would be happy with that.

The whole home-school relationship is a mess really. Teachers AND parents are all exhausted!

Yeah you know what I never considered parents being tired of it too. Just everyone chill out. Things take longer , aren't as panicky all the time

Not an email, but I once had a parent come in to see me in person specifically to ask if I could please convince her 9 year old son that he should like potatoes. It was years ago now but it still makes me laugh from time to time!

Edited to add I didn't mean to reply to a specific post! Clumsy fingers!

And parents wonder why kids cant cope at school and every child has anxiety wonder where they get that from

You don’t sound like you have much empathy for your students.

I almost put this at the beginning for mumsnet bingo
I have empathy for my students and a genuine interest in getting them ready for the stuff we ask them to do. Empathy is understanding and doing what is necessary IN THE LONG RUN. Not assuaging every minute feeling in the moment it happens. Also, my examples here have been very clear that it is the parents job to do lots of this stuff. Schools are not joint parents.

I think this is really key. Small things are made massive by all the angst

Where’s your empathy for teachers? They are humans too

I'm no longer teaching, but this is what my school did. Parents could still ring and ask to speak to a specific teacher, but because that took a little bit more effort, a lot of the more ridiculous requests stopped.

I'm kind of torn on the art club thing. Part of me thinks this is good, pastoral care. And en excellent opportunity to use real life examples to teach him not to be sexist, that boys can do things that girls do and look at all the male artists through history. Although this can also and should be done by the parent. It just seems like a better way to teach it than a generic 'don't be sexist' lecture. Yes, the kid's being ridiculous, but that's what eight year olds do; they get silly ideas into their heads.