To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

Because not everyone makes a good teacher
Not every child will respond to a parent as a teacher.
And not every family can afford to effectively have a SAH non earning Parent

The bullying needs stopping not the child removed from professional teachers.

Firstly, I am so sorry that your child has experienced such awful racism at school, and from teachers too!! I see you have made complaint, I would urge you to continue reporting every instance of racism and discrimination, and escalate through the process as needed every time.

Regarding "London" not being an acceptable answer to peers, I would recommend empowering your DC to feel confident that they are under no obligation to answer any such questions at all! Just because someone asks, doesn't mean they have a right to the answer!

As others have suggested if peers ask where they are from, they could say "i live in X, and I was born in Y" IF they WANT to share that information. If pushed for "where are you REALLY from" they can reiterate that and they could also say "My parents heritage is none of your business" or "i dont know the details of my parents heritage" or just simply "that information is private and none of your concern". Whatever they feel most confident in saying. They shouldn't have to do any of this at all but I understand they want to feel safe and they have a right to nkt be bullied or harassed!

I absolutely HATE that the country is in such an awful state we are making an suggestions as to how your child can hide their true selves, rather than being proud (or even ambivalent!) of who they are, regardless of their ethnicity, religion, sexuality etc. Its absolutely awful and makes me so sad and angry x

Nail on head. It is ofc factual that Ashkhenazi Jews descend from ancient Hebrew populations. There seems to be a lot of denial of that among some anti Semitic quarters.
Imo the skin colour thing is misleading and reflects US racial ideas of people having to be dark-skinned to be oppressed. It also ofc overlooks that a lot of Palestinians have fairer skin and sometimes more European-typical hair and eye colours due to European mixing, which would by their logic mean they're not Middle Eastern either.

And? I don't ask them for their motives for asking me questions (once again, "interrogate is your word, not mine). I'm not interested in prolonging a conversation about something I'm not interested in in the first place. Don't people have casual conversations with you in your day to day - even at work? Waiting for your kids outside a club? Volunteering? In a taxi?

You said they were persistent, now you said it was just casual conversation.

The latter makes more sense. Strangers are really not that invested in which culture you identify with.

Is this what we have become as a nation? OP I’m so sorry for you and your children 🩷

You shouldn’t have to live like this because of feral people.

Persistently asking someone where they are from, rather than accepting the first answer, can happen in a casual conversation with a stranger 🙄

I'm sure most young people have learned about the Holocaust? And where it mainly took place?

Thank you for clarifying that, I hadn't properly understood what you meant in your previous post and I apologise. I don't use social media (MN is the closest I get!) so I don't see the proliferation of antisemitic posts you're referring to, but sadly I can well imagine. It must be horrifying and I would never want to be part of any gaslighting about the scale of such awful disinformation, misinformation and downright prejudice, bigotry and hate crime.

Anyway, for what it's worth, MN have let your post stand and that's absolutely fine with me. I guess I'm fortunate that, to the best of my knowledge, neither my family members, friends or colleagues are antisemitic, and I would be disgusted to discover they were. But perhaps it colours my appreciation of how widespread antisemitism is in the UK.

I didn't notice any typos in your post, by the way! ☺️

PP is probably confused, as I am, because you said before you knew how these total strangers felt about being British which is all a lot to cover and have happen regularly in conversation with strangers.

Yes but that involves joining the dots.
Maybe I'm just thick.

Nazis were German who ran concentration camps.
Auzhwich was a concentration camp
They took people on trains to Auzwich.

They kind of brushed over where the Jews came from.
I thought until someone pointed out the dots earlier, that the Jews they killed came from Germany. The penny never dropped that transporting people to kill them was pointless.

But for a long time I thought Auchwich was in Germany. Although I've never studied WW2.

Going through school in the 80s it wasn't really mentioned. I think it might still have been too soon, painful for teachers. Only 40-50 years. There may well have been teachers who'd lost parents or possibly even faught in it.

I’m so sorry you are going through this .
Do you think it’s a good idea to hide their descent? Are you scared for their safety ?

I can't see how you can conflate Nazi Germany with some suspiciously well informed teenagers.

The reason people knew who might be a Jew in 1930s Germany was because they were constantly told with stereotypical images. And their neighbours would have known who were practising before the Nazis came to power.

I simply don't buy that British teenagers are that racist, or that a school culture is racist. There is definitely something else going on here. For example that the school is protecting other ethnicities.

And any teacher who tolerates let alone promotes anti Semitism should be out of the profession.

@Aislyn - Cant think of any advice but I’m so sorry that it’s come to this OP. It’s a weird world right now .

Agreed 👍

This is a bit naive.

It sounds that a group of different ethnicities met at one school.
There is a bigger group from an antisemitic culture/families who spotted the potentially jewish child at the school.
Telling them "not your business" won't remove the target from the child's back, denying it is a kind of confirmation.

Especially not in London!
I get (and regret) that they don't want to admit to being Jewish because young people do tend to be blindly pro-Palestine - but in most school classes in London, white British kids are in a small minority; almost everyone is something else, or often a complicated mixture of different backgrounds. I am just not sure it's a topic of conversation. They're "from London"; that's the end of it!

If there is a whisper of evidence of teachers facilitating or accommodating anti
semitism this should be reported immediately to the local authority and to the
department for education. This cannot be allowed to take hold in any school in any part of this country. Please shine the light of disinfectant on this and hold teachers and schools to account.

I'd say so, do you have figures

I stand by my point that nobody has the right to bully personal information out of anybody, regardless of whether said information is accurate or a merely a perception!

Replace Jewish with any other protected characteristic they, or their family members may have e.g. gay or disabled or transgender or older/younger - should people be forced to confirm or deny this information to anyone who demands to know? And since when does a refusal to provide that information to a bully automatically confirm its truth? People like this are going to think whatever they want to think unfortunately, regardless of what the truth is and irrespective of whatever individuals say!

We all have a role to play in educating and empowering ourselves and our children about everyone's right to equality and freedom from discrimination, and that its ok to give a clear message that people's personal characteristics are actually private, even if they may seem "obvious". "NO" is a complete sentence!

What makes you so confident of your point of view? do you think she’s making up the experiences she’s discussing? If not, then what do you hope to gain from your post?

FYI, and as has been said NUMEROUS times in this thread, it IS a topic of conversation with young people in London. It’s because London is so diverse that young people tend to discuss their generational heritage. my kids both chatter about it with their friends: “susans half Scottish, ben’s dad is Jamaican” etc etc. .

so can we please stop undermining the OPs actual lived experience by telling her it’s not happening or can be easily dealt with?

Can you honestly not see the problem with telling her that what she says is happening is not happening?

I’m Jewish with olive skin as in I tan easily. My siblings look less ethnic that me. But either way no one would guess unless I told them. No cover story needed. If slightly darker could say oh grandma from Italy but I don’t speak Italian etc. My ancestors from mostly Ukraine and Russian so likely white / white passing.

I would alter David Meyers At Pajes. He’s in denial about the need for more Jewish schools. please do contact him.

Only read the first page but appalled by replies showing either (1) a lack of understanding of the appalling racism Jewish people are facing in Britain now or (b) a lack of outrage at the depth and breadth of racism Jews are experiencing.

I never, ever thought Britain would be like this. It’s heartbreaking. I am so sorry your family are facing this OP.

Thank you for the solidarity. I think the many replies trying to cast doubt on my account is an extension of this: it's an inconvenient truth that is easier to deny for many. Of course, people have their own motivation as well in seeking to deny racism to Jews.

This thread reflects the school response: minimise and deny. They did acknowledge certain incidents having irrefutable proof (accounts from multiple students for example).

I even considered sending my eldest into school with a hidden tape recorder, it was that bad.