To ask you to help with a cover story for my Jewish child

[Aislyn]

My eldest is at secondary school and has suffered horrific racist bullying due to being identifiably Jewish. She never told anyone, but they guessed due to her appearance, and her saying Eastern European countries when asked 'where are you from?'

Unfortunately the school has been completely unhelpful, and refused to tackle this.

My second child is starting at second and has sen. They are at even higher risk of bullying. They have an appearance that would mean that they could be identified as Jewish, especially when citing Eastern European countries in response to the above question. Can anyone think of a cover story for my child?

(Yes, I have tried to get them a place at a Jewish school, but there is none available)

No child should face racism or religious hatred.
How would she feel about moving schools? Not all schools are like this. My DC had Muslim, Jewish and Hindu friends and they all just got along.
Would you consider looking at a Catholic school? In my experience they do a lot of work re kindness and respect.

Unfortunately yes. The comments from one particular teacher were particularly outrageous, and also promoted terrorism. They caused my child extreme distress. There have been other comments, which are completely unacceptable as well.

Absolutely, yes I would be open to a Catholic school. I would just want somewhere where my children are safe.

If things are really so bad, perhaps the OP could say "the Balkans". That way, there's no need to specify a language.

OP - ignore the “I don’t understand, just say British!” Unhelpful.

For dc2 I think I’d give a suitably British vague answer like “complex, mum’s side is Polish and Dads side is a mix from a couple of different Middle Eastern countries.” (Or suggest dads family are from somewhere else if that helps)

Yes to both of you. The pp who don’t get it don’t have to go that far back.

I'm a retired secondary school teacher (Scotland).

You should make a formal complaint.

I'm so sorry to hear that @Aislyn. I'd like to say I'm shocked but the way the world leaders are behaving right now nothing would surprise me about ordinary people.

I have done. Nothing changed 😔

It is endemic in the culture of the school, and takes the form if both micro and macro aggressions. For example a teacher making outwardly Anti-Semitic tropes to the class and promoting conspiracy theories around Jews. Another time a child (not mine) mentioned a Jewish relative and their achievement, and the teacher said 'they must have been a money lender'. Only some small examples, I could make many more but worried about it being too identifiable.

I do understand. And I still agree with other posters, as I said. Additionally, are there other families that you know who have encountered antisemitism at school? Are there any local agencies or community groups that could help advise you? It sounds heartbreaking and rather scary. I’m glad you’re doing your best to advocate for your daughter.

Polish people aren't olive skinned.

Poc could never away with a cover story! No matter what. Friends and family growing up in the 70's had to put up with all sorts of racists. Sadly their seeing their children having to go through same these days. Seems racists have been give a greenlight over the last few years.
Can't exactly change skin colour.
A friend had to pull their dd out of college due to a lack of support when she rasied what was happening, But that seemed to get the right people involved (maybe a funding thing!) as they then facilitated working from home (provided laptop and all work) and she aced all her exams and coursework! Obviously not the best way to handle it but it's what she wanted at the time and helped her mental health.

I'm sorry that I have no advice, but I am horrified and sickened this is happening to your family, and others on this thread. My heart goes out to you all, and sincerely hope your youngest has a better experience.

You can borrow my Armenian heritage if you like, OP. No one knows where it is, or anything about it, and it's even got its own church (Armenian Orthodox).

Unless of course you're from one of the neighbouring countries who think less of us (it's a popular negative stereotype in the region) in which case, well, welcome to the club.

Why would you make your child go to a school where this behaviour is happening? If the teachers have this attitude then you know there’s no repercussions for pupils, I’m sorry but I wouldn’t put my child through this.

I can’t see how saying that they are say Polish will confirm that they are Jewish if they speak Polish and (what’s more important) are catholics and can refer to it. If they don’t speak Polish and not catholics that how them lying becomes obvious.
My point is that for any country you name you have to provide cultural reference points e.g language, religion and if you can’t - your lie is obvious.

I posted up thread about how I am of Italian heritage but many people assume I am Jewish (I have my Dad’s English surname which sounds like an anglicised version of an Eastern European name, as it happens).

I do understand those saying this thread isn’t real, but in case it is let me say this.

I have only ever been asked if I was Jewish by well intentioned people. I have often thought about what I would say if someone asked me with evil intent, and have come to the conclusion that I would not answer them. Not because I think I am so very virtuous but I literally don’t think I’d be able to form the words - I would not want to encourage that type of person and do not think that I actually could. However I am an adult and I realise it could be quite different for children at school.

I'm lost for words.

I don't know the English system. In Scotland, there would be a complaint to the Director of Education for the Local Authority.

"You can complain to Ofsted about a state school, academy, free school, or children’s social care service if you have already followed the provider's formal complaints procedure and the issue remains unresolved."

Of course that would raise a whole other set of issues but maybe the threat would be enough?

The Kardashian’s are Armenian 😁 they make lots of jokes about being hairy Armenian beasts. so, incidentally is my blonde faired blue eyed Russian SIL

The half-Polish girls at my school all had Catholic heritage. Some of the other girls of Eastern European heritage had family who were of Christian Orthodox heritage. (The families just used to explain that they were members of the Greek Orthodox church to make it easier for people to understand.)

All the Polish kids at the school where I worked had a Catholic background. The Romanian kids were either Christian Orthodox or 7th Day Adventists.

Never knew that Jewish Europeans had a paticular look.
If you have olive skin, why wouldn't people assume you're Spanish, or Greek or Italian.
Anyway, not fair on the kids, definitely liase with school.

hah yes they are. I don't claim them though; I'm more of a 'Cher' Armenian, myself 😂

But yeah I get your point; I know some people have heard of it, mostly because of the Kardasians, but it's hardly the most well-known country in that region and people are often hard pressed to come up with many details about it.

@Aislyn I'm deeply shocked by your DD's experience at this school. I know you've said you've complained but I think you should escalate it. Is this a state school in England? State schools are bound by the Public Sector Equality Duty. What you've described is really serious. Teachers making antisemitic comments, the school failing to act when children engage in antisemitic bullying.
This simply is not acceptable or lawful and you shouldn't have have to contemplate concocting a "cover story".

I don't like the idea of having to fib about the background, but if this helps any: I know many people who are of very mixed Slavic heritage because of the history of the Balkans - and it's well known that that particular group often neglects to teach their children their ancestral languages.

They also very often say that they're atheist though their ancestors will be a mixture of Montenegrin/Serbian Orthodox, Catholic and Muslim.