Would you find this weird/sad?

[TheGreatGadiBecker]

I live in Canterbury - none of my closest friends, family, or workmates live anywhere nearby. I have two children who are late teens.

Not one person has mentioned the meningitis thing to me at all - nothing jokey, no concern, no interest at all.

Is that weird?! I can't help but find it a bit strange and - strangely - it makes me think people just don't think about me at all. Or don't feel close enough to me to ask or comment. Workmates are constantly in touch but none have said anything about it.

You've gone out of your way to make other people's children dying about your hurt feefees.

I have a child in Uni halls in Canterbury, and the only person to check in with us is one set of grandparents. I didn't really read anything into that. I am pretty worried, though, although DS is pretty antisocial, and not into clubbing or any higher risk activities. He's fine, but I'll breathe a sigh of relief when he gets back for Easter.

I didnt ask for a lesson, your not the first to quote me, why follow everyone else thats doing it.

Its just the way we talk and say things.
But here on mumsnet there's always someone that will take one word from a comment and make a thing out of it.

I went to a foreign country for a meeting at which I was the only Brit, the day after the Manchester arena bomb, and they held a minute's silence for it at the start of the meeting. It was very thoughtful and much appreciated.

@TheGreatGadiBecker: It's an unsettling time here in Canterbury. I am an academic and have students and teenage DC who are very anxious about the situation and it's all they can talk about the moment. I feel that it is a reminder of the strangeness, uncertainty and worries of the early Covid period. It was nice getting messages from former students, family and friends and I totally understand that you feel disappointed that nobody was checking in with you. Hope you and your children are ok.

But nothing you said made any sense. "It's just how we talk" is all very well, but it's nonsensical and you expect others to understand you.....

Im chinese i was raised with hearing pandering.
Like sitting like a panda and only thinking of one thing.
Example = Stop pandering and do something.
You may call it being bored or overthinking my family call it pandering.
Its not me making a thing out of one word its you and others, let it go.

I am definitely one of the second. Those in the first are not actually interested in the other person, it’s an ingrained nosiness which is why they ask.

If someone says ‘did you have a nice weekend’ that’s not too intrusive. But, for example, if someone says ‘what did you do at the weekend’ then they have crossed the line.

I value my privacy so respect the privacy of others.

I dunno, these are people she speaks to daily. If my friends’ hometown was in the news daily I’d probably mention it in the WhatsApp group.

Not sure it’s fair to say that it’s ingrained nosiness rather than interest. How do you know? Anyway don’t want to derail. Just found it interesting that people can be so diametrically opposed about it and thought that’s what could be at play in this situation 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh gosh, you sound very sensitive. Do you have wider concerns about lack of friends or people who care about you?

I don't know about friends but my dm and mil would 100% send me a message to check in. I would say both have above average anxiety levels though so maybe your loved ones are just a bit more chilled? Or just busy? Do you feel like you have people who care about you normally or is this part of a broader feeling of not feeling loved?

Sorry to say but that's kind of how it feels to me too.

It would feel as though I was gossiping or making a drama out of another family's devastation to bring it up directly. And I'd shut it down very quickly if someone mentioned it to me.

I just can't imagine I'd say anything at all.

We’re nowhere near but my sibling and I spoke about this earlier. They survived meningitis over 20 years ago after catching it at work as a doctor. They’ve not been the same since after a week in ICU. So yes, I would expect people I know to ask about it and express concern. But maybe that’s just our family.

It feels a bit like all that checking in safe on fb after a disaster 20 miles away nonsense or the OMG, I thought about going there on holiday! comments.

Only read OP's posts. If you were my friend OP, I would have dropped you a note.

Does it? One of OP's children goes to a school where the is a student with it.
That's not 20 miles away.

You know there are only 15 cases right? 😂

I don't think the laughing emoji is really appropriate, is it?
2 of those 15 young people have died.

Which is pretty scary. Meningitis is a killer and shouldn’t be underestimated. Two people have already died. In Kent, it’s the top topic of conversation, and not just in Canterbury. ‘Only 15 cases’ is 15 cases too many.

No I’m just laughing because I wonder what percentage of the population of Canterbury is. I’m from London but even I know it’s bigger than that 😂

Why on earth would people mention it? diseases and illnesses are around people all the time do you have health anxiety and are surprised others don't?

No it’s not appropriate at all.

Why thank you for your opinion - which I don’t remember asking for.

i can laugh at op thinking 15 people in a place that large is reason for everyone she knows to be showering her with concerns. As a Londoner who is imagining dr marten, knowing that that is not Canterbury.

I would presume you would mention it if it was affecting you and would presume if you didn’t mention it, you weren’t affected, and/or you didn’t want to talk about it.

This is actually affecting some people and you do sound a bit grief thief like OP. Just be glad that you’re not actually involved instead of wanting attention for living near to where something awful is happening.