Would you find this weird/sad?

[TheGreatGadiBecker]

I live in Canterbury - none of my closest friends, family, or workmates live anywhere nearby. I have two children who are late teens.

Not one person has mentioned the meningitis thing to me at all - nothing jokey, no concern, no interest at all.

Is that weird?! I can't help but find it a bit strange and - strangely - it makes me think people just don't think about me at all. Or don't feel close enough to me to ask or comment. Workmates are constantly in touch but none have said anything about it.

Are your children ill?

No - I find it weird that you think it’s weird (presuming your children are not ill or at the University)

This. Are you or have they been in contact with anyone affected?

The youngest goes to an affected school (not the one where the poor girl died).

I agree with you, OP. If that was happening near to my family or friends, I would definitely ask them about it.

I'm not really sure what I would say to be honest?

"I hope your DC don't get meningitis"?

It'd just sound odd and in your position, I think I'd be annoyed at messages like that.

I don't know - 'Are you and the boys affected by the meningitits situation?' 'I see Canterbury's in the news again!' 'Hope it's all going well there - I saw DSs school mentioned - is everything okay with you guys?' 'I've just seen the news about Kent uni - its so sad, those poor people' - anything really.

I'm talking about friends, family, and workmates that I am in contact with five days a week - and yet none have mentioned it. It's making me think I must have an unusual communication style!

My nephew lives in Canterbury he has 3 kids.
He's not mentioned it at all.
It was his mum that said it first he replied we all know about but what can we do, just have to get on with daily life no point in pandering over it.

Its not that I think people should be worried, and it's not that I'm worried.

If I had a friend who lived in Spalding and suddenly there was a fairly big news story centred in Spalding I would ask them about it, that's all.

I don't know if I'd mention it or not. It would depend on a number of factors. It simply might not occur to me if it didn't come up in our conversation. I might not remember the specific school someone's child attended, either. Unless these people always seem uncaring or uninterested in your life, I'd try not to take it personally.

They may not even be aware that it's anywhere near you.

I knew there was a university with a meningitis outbreak, but didn't have a clue where in the country it was prior to this thread.

Given that I work in a university, I maybe should have checked!

I think it’s weird. I have uni going family members in London, I asked them if they’re keeping safe.

Maybe they think it's strange that you haven't mentioned it? Maybe they don't want to worry you about it if you don't mention it first? I think you're overthinking it.

If I had a friend living in the area with children in school, then I’d assume they were aware and had been given information relevant to them, and that I couldn’t add anything of benefit. Friends saying things - let alone “jokey” things about the situation doesn’t really sound appropriate or helpful.

ETA: and friends may not be aware it’s affecting your immediate area. I know the outbreaks have been in Kent; but as I don’t live in Kent or have children, I’ve not much idea how wide or localised the outbreak is.

I would touch base as well. They may not realise your children are at the same school (I couldn’t name my nieces and nephews schools) but I would at least send a message.

What does he mean, pandering over it ?

My best friend lives in Canterbury and it hasn’t occurred to me to mention it TBH… what would I say?

It's been widely reported on the news.

I don’t think weird but probably demonstrates how self involved and busy everyone is.

I lived in Manchester city centre and worked in a city centre office. The day after the Manchester arena bomb, I had many client calls and an in person meeting (over in Sheffield) and not a single person mentioned what had happened. Felt very shocked… on top of feeling shocked in general by the terrorism. I don’t think it’s you or your friends but just people in general.

I’m not sure. I think if I were one of your friends then upon hearing the news I would’ve immediately thought about you but might not mention it directly to you because I wouldn’t want to worry you.

Why wouldn’t everything be OK, though? Presumably you’d proactively tell your friends if one your kids was gravely ill; they don’t need to ask if your family’s OK because you haven’t told them otherwise.

You sound like one of those people who mark themselves as ‘safe’ on Facebook when there’s incident 20 miles away.

I’d also add that this probably seems like a much big a thing to you than it does to people who live in bigger cities that are frequently on the news. A major news story unfolded 300 yards from my house last summer but I didn’t expect people to register that and get in touch.

I also live and work in Manchester (I was actually right outside the arena when the bomb went off). I didn’t expect people to ask me about it though, because I wasn’t one of the main characters in that story.

A lot of people don’t really follow the news, especially if they’re busy with their own kids, work, lives etc.
They may not realise how close to you this is.
For you and your children, it must be all consuming. You can’t escape it.
The uni I attended in the 1990s had a meningitis outbreak, one of my friends died, the media attention and medical situation was unbearable. So you have my absolutely sympathy and understanding.
People outside of the area may not have a clue.
Let it go, op. Look after your family, stay safe x

I've thought about this and would I send a message to friends/family in say Exeter or Lincoln if it was there. No, I wouldn't. A city is a big place so unless I knew they were directly affected, I wouldn't feel it was necessary at all. I'd also find it really odd (and slightly invasive and paranoid) if someone messaged me about something happening in my hometown but nothing to do with me.

Interesting to read this, as I would hate this personally and find it really annoying! I often get text from family saying oh look your town is in the news like I wouldn’t have known, I live here of course I know, why are you telling me?? So maybe they are like me and just think it’s peculiar to bring up someone’s home town news to them unless they mention it first.