AIBU to invite only half my son’s class to his party?

[MizzyDazzy]

To invite half my son’s class to a party?

My son is turning 6, I asked him if he wanted an all class party, he said no. He wants a treasure hunt in my parents’ back garden (which is what his sister did at that age).

I didn’t limit the number she could invite, but she ended up picking 10.

I asked my son and he has named 15 children (or half the class) and I’m not sure if that’s going to go down badly…

My daughter has had a very specific friendship group from reception whereas my son doesn’t seem to have found his gang yet (bit worried about that but I guess that’s for another day 😆).

I also don’t feel I know the parents in the class very well as we’ve missed some parties (and my son has only been invited to all class parties so far) and I only do one drop per week and no pick ups as I work FT.

A lot of the parents seem very good friends and everyone seems to know everything about each other so I feel whatever I decide to do will end up being known.

So should I silently pick a few of the children my son named and not invite them or do I go ahead with his wishes and invite just half the class?

A whole class party isn’t now really an option as I’ve booked the entertainer and hosting at my parent’s house.

Inviting half the class is absolutely fine. Unless he has chosen all but 1/2 boys then I would have no hesitation to invite who he had chosen.

I personally think anything up to half the class is fine, as is the whole class, or even all the boys. What I would have a problem with, as another parent, would be a minority of children being excluded. Whereas anything up to half the class is “well, you can’t be invited to everything” territory.

No matter what you do someone may find fault with it.
That's fine it's their opinion, a stupid one but hey that's my opinion.

In my childs class rules are you invite the whole class or none of them, unless your friends with mam ect and u can invite one or 2 that you know personally. I do think its a great idea as nobody is left out and there's only ever been 4 class birthdays in the past five years

4 parties in 5 years! Wow that’s the dream! Ha ha we have at least one a month between my two kids!

I think the MN rules are-

1. the whole class
2. all the boys/ girls
3. a mixed sex group of up to half of the class,

Number 3 comes with the caveat that
if you’re inviting all but one or two of either the girls or the boys, you have to think again and move to either option 1 or 2 instead, unless inviting all of that sex plus one or two of the other sex keeps you under half the class in total.

Invite whoever you like! Half the class sounds perfectly reasonable.

Well I mean from school invites, there has most definitely been other parties but only 3 or 4 a year

That’s a good point, 5 boys not invited

I think it’s reasonable - reception was full of class parties and it’s been pretty much expected Y1 onwards would be a smaller pool of friends. My son’s 6th birthday is 7 kids he’s close with and that’s it.

Is the group he's invited all boys? Or a mix of boys & girls?

We are past this stage but I am thankful all class parties are not happening everywhere

And i say that as a guest there is only so many parties people can handle

My DS is in year 1 and everyone invites everyone

I would say that's unusual. It must be quite a wealthy area. Not many around my way would be able to afford to invite the whole class to a venue/village hall and none would have enough space to host 30+ children at home.

How do people fit going to so many parties in? is that all they do in life is attend parties?

See I know this means well but I really don't agree with it. It's simply not real life that you like everyone in your class and it's OK for a child to say they don't want everyone at their birthday.

Especially as kids get older and start splitting into boy/girl parties if it's a mixed class.

My son had a birthday recently and he gave me a list from his class that were mostly kids I hear him talking of. Now I did feel a pang of guilt as its not a massive class and only 6 or so were not invited. But by the time we added in cousins and local pals we had reached the limit of the party activity so I couldn't have invited them. And it was pay per child.

I always tell him though that people have different birthdays and not everyone is or can be invited and I'm sure there's been some he's not been invited to.

If you've an unlimited number of places then it's easy to invite everyone but honestly don't worry.

This sounds mental... who made these rules?

A mix

I am presuming parents that have endless school or what's app dramas and cant cope with their child missing out, how do people manage jobs family events, appointments, short breaks etc as well

I've honestly no idea. We get probably 4/5 invites a year and even then we can't normally attend them all because we have other plans with family, friends and clubs.

There are about 20 in the class so not a huge amount

Sounds absolutely fine then!
I don't think it's reasonable to always invite the whole class if the class size is c. 30 kids. And in your sons case, no specific cohort are being singled out.

Maybe they are all having secret parties so no-one knows they are breaking the rules.

How long does this rule last for? No way would my 10yo be inviting the whole class.

We had a very similar dilemma. I asked for a balance of 5 boys and girls to start so it was even, then a few more plus friends outside of school. Party was 16 with 12 of those from school. The danger is leaving out some of the boys so I think aiming for more balance (7 boys and 7 girls plus DS) might work a bit better. It’s not too bad though