AIBU to leave tonight after husband's texting and driving tantrum?

[Justinbimber]

My husband is slamming around the house and doing his aggressive “tidy up” routine because I said he shouldn’t text and drive.

We were in the car with his son (6). I said “if you keep texting and driving you’ll end up with 3 points, or worse”

He replied he always did it and why mention it now? Then he said it’s alright for me because I don’t drive so I can relax and go on my phone whenever I want.

He then threw his phone at the dashboard, and drove 50+ in a 30 zone for about 10 minutes. I was gripping my seat

He already drives under the influence of cannabis (everyday). I will not get in the car with him on these days.

Aibu to pack my bags and leave tonight? I’m sick of it all, whenever I bring up a slight criticism (?) it ends with these escalated moods and tension. His son is clinging to me since we got home which is unusually for him

Yes. Leave no one needs to tell you that op!

Why would you not kick him out???

Leave asap

He is scaring his son and put him at risk.

You have a duty to protect that child. Speak to Social Services. This may not be enough for them to assess but at least it’s then on record then for the future. Tell them all the times he’s done this, with dates if possible.

Tell the child’s mum.

And yes, leave. Of course. This man is a bully. I also think potential narcissist.

This man is not worth staying with.

Agreed

Why haven't you reported him to the police? By not doing so you are complicit.

Can you learn to drive?

Why are you still with him?

Does the mother of his child know that he drives under the influence and texts while driving? If not, she needs to know.

You should have reported him to the police the first time he did it.

This is such a weird thread. Do you all really mean leave? Why would she leave? It’s her house too. Where is she supposed to go?

she wants to divorce. That doesn’t, in most cases, involve either party leaving the martial home.

the blaming her for his drug driving is vile too. No wonder she hasn’t come back.

Sorry but if he uses cannibas every day (or even every other day) he is under the influence every time you get in the car. Cannibas stays in the system a lot longer than alcohol and can still affect you . People are stopped by the police regularly, believing they are clear and it's still in their system.

That keeps you safe. What about all the other drivers and pedestrians he might kill while under the influence?

Er. What about the 6 year old?

I’m a driving instructor so pretty hot on this. Texting whilst driving is more statistically more likely to lead to accidents than being over the alcohol limit. But I guess that won’t shock him given he’s under the influence anyway.

And he’s driving a six year old and speeding too? Please tell the child’s mother, this has potential accident written all over it. I hope he gets caught. His insurance will go up so much over it he won’t be driving (although will no doubt then not have insurance either).

Selfish useless prick.

You also stated that he does it everyday, so you do travel in car with him under the influence! It is generally recommended to wait at least
24 hours after smoking cannabis before driving to ensure you are below the legal limit, particularly for regular users. While the psychoactive effects (the "high") may wear off in 2–6 hours, THC can remain in your bloodstream above legal driving limits for much longer. How can you be sure of this.

But that little 6-year-old has no choice. You must warn his mother as well as informing the police.

He sounds like a right prick.

I suspect cannabis is the reason for your husband's moods. Unless your husband is taking cannabis for medical reasons, why is he using it every day or at all? Most people don't need cannabis to function on a daily basis. Those who are taking habitually, have a drug problem.

Your husband is driving whilst texting and also when he's been using cannabis. Is he driving his 6 year old around, whilst on drugs? I suspect you probably have been in the car, and he's been under the influence of cannabis, as it must stay in the system. You may just have not realised it.

Why are you still in this relationship? You are married to someone who is a drug addict...it doesn't matter that it's cannabis and not harder drugs. Your poor step-son is walking around on egg shells, probably frightened of his Daddy, when he's in a mood.

You need to get out of your marriage. You need to report your husband for driving under the influence of drugs...even anonymously and especially if his son is in the car. You also need to tell your step-son's Mum, the reason why you have left, because your husband shouldn't have care of his son. I'm assuming you don't have children together, be grateful for that. Once the divorce is finalised you don't have to see him again.

YANBU but why haven’t you called the police when he’s been driving under the influence of cannabis. He could kill someone else, even if you’re not in the car. He’s an absolute fucking prick and needs to be removed from the roads pronto.

Definitely this.

Do you really need to ask? Your husband is a tosser! He is risking the life of you and your child or another innocent person/animal. One day he might cause death or life changing injuries because of his stupid, selfish reckless behaviour.

FYI - “Cannabis (specifically THC) stays in the system for 3 to 90 days on average, but this varies widely based on usage frequency, metabolism, and body fat. While the psychoactive "high" wears off in a few hours, THC is fat-soluble, meaning it is stored in fat cells and slowly released over time”

His poor child. I think you calling this a tantrum is minimising what has happened. He’s abusing that child, and you, by behaving in such a dangerous and threatening way. No wonder the boy is clinging to you. He should be reported to the police and sw involved.

Leave and report him to safeguarding for the sake of the child.

It’s 6 points now and your husband is an arsehole

Well of course you should end this relationship with this loser. You do not need him in your life.

You’d be unreasonable if you didn’t leave.

The child's mother can ask for drug testing as part of child custody arrangements. Yes leave but try to do your best to make sure his son doesn't suffer.