AIBU to leave tonight after husband's texting and driving tantrum?

[Justinbimber]

My husband is slamming around the house and doing his aggressive “tidy up” routine because I said he shouldn’t text and drive.

We were in the car with his son (6). I said “if you keep texting and driving you’ll end up with 3 points, or worse”

He replied he always did it and why mention it now? Then he said it’s alright for me because I don’t drive so I can relax and go on my phone whenever I want.

He then threw his phone at the dashboard, and drove 50+ in a 30 zone for about 10 minutes. I was gripping my seat

He already drives under the influence of cannabis (everyday). I will not get in the car with him on these days.

Aibu to pack my bags and leave tonight? I’m sick of it all, whenever I bring up a slight criticism (?) it ends with these escalated moods and tension. His son is clinging to me since we got home which is unusually for him

He sounds like a wanker. Excusing his dangerous behaviour by saying he ‘always does it’!! 🙄
I feel sorry for his son, you can get out, and you should.
Driving daily under the influence of cannabis is despicable and I hope you report him to the police.

Obviously you need to get rid as he's a cnut.
Is his son's mother a decent enough person? If you get on OK with her, I'd let her know what he's doing.
You both need to unite against him if possible. Support each other.

She probably despises him, too.
This is further complicated by his son being there. He should be away from him.

Imagine you were single and no friend. One of your mates says "I know a man you might like". Then goes on to describes your DP. Bad temper, uses phone while driving, uses cannabis.
Would you take her up on it and ask her to organise a getting to know you date?

I know someone who died because they were texting at the wheel, in all other ways they were a good & cautious driver. Just thought they knew what they were doing.

Their death broke their family and closest friends, and the driver of the lorry they hit remains haunted by the accident to this day.

Their mother has had nightmares every single night since they died, 10 years ago. It's believed the cancer their father developed was triggered by grief.

The ruptures & pain their actions caused are still causing pain a decade on.

Yes, I'd report him to the police. Yes, I'd leave him. Never let him drive you or your child.

100% Run and never go back !
And when you’re somewhere safe phone the police to report him for driving under the influence and being unsafe around his child. Also tell child’s mother.

If there is a reason you are uncomfortable with the police OP you can also share your concerns with safeguarding at your local council. This is not a safe environment for you or his child. Take care you were right to challenge his texting and driving...his reaction demonstrates he no good.

I put Yabu because you're complicit in his behaviour. Even if you don't personally get in the car when he's 'under the influence' you're not bothered about his child or other people.

He sounds bloody awful and this can't be new behaviour. There must have been signs before.

He's a moron, and a menace to anyone on the road - and a danger to your and his son. Leave. If it were me, I'd also report him to the police.

Did you plan to have dc with him? Because you know exactly how he will drive when alone with your dc

He’s willing to put your (and his son’s and other road users) life at risk just to teach you a lesson/ exert some power? Yes I’d be gone already.

Leave, leave, leave, leave, repeat, repeat.

How do you know when he is under the influence or not (cannabis stays for quite a while).

Leave, leave, leave.

Can you take the son with you?
probably not but I felt awful reading that about him clinging to you. He can’t feel safe around his dad. Could you speak to the mum and make her aware of what is happening?

Yeah Go. The cannabis is fucking with his head. He could have killed you. He needs to sort his addiction out. Dont go back. Move on.

He has shown what he thinks of you - and your son. He's endangering your lives and getting nasty when asked not to so basically he doesn't care for his family.

If not willing to give up the drugs, calm down the way he speaks to you, listens and works as a team with you then yeah, I think it may be safer and healthier to get yourself into a position to get out of this relationship. Sorry OP, so hard to go through this.

Leave and tell the child's mother that he's potentially at risk.

I'd wait until his son is back at his mum's I think. 😢

But yes, I would then leave.
And I'd let this little boy's mum know what had happened in the car and the house and that it had unsettled her child, and that I was leaving. Oh and I'd tell her about the daily cannabis use too. I reckon his ex won't be surprised but she needs to know.

I think I'd also go one further and report him to the police and safeguarding.

How did marrying him seem like a good idea?! What a prize. 🤦😔

Does he drive under the influence with his child in the car? Leave him and report him to as many people as possible

@Justinbimber

i sincerely hope that you report him to the police each and every time. How could you live with yourself if he causes an accident? You will be just as much to blame as him and you know he does it!

Not only would I leave, I would also tell the child's mother

Yes, do tell the police. Try to get him stopped and arrested and drug tested for his driving because after you leave him you’ll need this as proof that you don’t agree to your son veing in the car with him.

I mistakenly thought the child was yours but please do tell his mother.

He already drives under the influence of cannabis (everyday). I will not get in the car with him on these days
But you also said he smokes every day. So you must.

Absolutely leave and divorce. Why would you stay with him?

He's an irresponsible, aggressive stoner. Yes, you should leave.

I cant beleive you need to ask and I would also work on what on earth you saw in him in the first place so you do go through a revolving door of whatever this is