AIBU to expect posters to read the OP’s updates before replying?

[RupertTheBlackCat]

The reason for my title is that I'm getting increasingly frustrated with posters who clearly have not read all the preceding posts by the original author of the thread. There is a recent one about Mothering Sunday that is a classic example - the poor (and extremely patient!) OP is having to repeat the same points over and over and over and over..... again, simply because contributors have not read all her posts.

Now, I entirely appreciate that it's not always possible to read every post on a thread - of course not! - but surely it's possible (and, I would say, essential) to read every post by the initiator of the subject before making a response.

So, AIBU? Or is it okay to just launch in without reference to the opening poster's actual situation?

Yeah it’s annoying. That’s what the filter button is for so you can read just the Ops posts!

This is a frequently expressed annoyance OP.

It's guaranteed that when a thread gets a large number of replies people jump in without having read any of the OP's updates and totally oblivious to the fact the situation has moved on and developed since the opening post. Then you get repeated annoyed responses to the late comers telling them to " read the thread"

It's farcical. Why posters can't read the OP's updates before they comment is a mystery to me. But I don't see what can be done about it

Have you read the Mothering Sunday one? It’s like this.

It's exactly what she it talking about 🤣

I think (or at least hope) that poster was making a joke

YANBU but an increasing number of posters don’t even seem able to read the entire OP, let alone any updates.

We know it’s annoying, judging by the repeat of exact threads like this that are on MN 🤦‍♀️

It is annoying but I have to admit I’ve done this a couple of times recently due to my phone not loading threads properly.

Depends how long the thread is. It seems reasonable to me to read the top and the tail, if it a long thread with loads of pages. Even if it’s a short one, it’s easy to miss a particular reply and inadvertently duplicate.

My apologies - I genuinely haven't seen any other threads on this subject!

Ha, very good.

If it's a long thread it's vanishingly unlikely that the obvious points haven't already been made, so why bother to post? If it's a short thread it's easy to skim through and at a minimum look for the OP's posts. So many people glance at the title, reply to what they think it says (not necessarily what it actually says) and go on their way. If taken to task, they tell the rest of us that they are far too busy (and by implication, important) to waste time reading what's in front of their eyes. Not too busy to add their pointless pearls of wisdom, though!

Reading updates? At leaat half on MN doesn't even bother reading past title.

Re too many posts. People can just filter OP's🤷 it's a great function but seems rarely used.

YANU to WANT people to read all the OP's updates, but YABU to EXPECT it of everyone on a huge public forum.
However, IMHO there are some threads so inconsequential that it doesn't matter. Eg a long thread a while back about how to pronounce 'forehead'.
And come to think of it, there are threads where OP has posted at length many times repeating her original points; it's not realistic to expect everyone to read it all with great care.

Can someone link to the Mothering Sunday one? I need to read it now.
(and YANBU, OP!)

Just use the filter option!

I also hate when people quote the opening post - just why?

There’s always threads about this and you are right it is irritating. People coming on after three hundred posts and saying the same thing.

Worse are the ones that start off about some inconsequential issue and then move on to something like domestic violence and people are posting on a long thread about the first post when it’s moved on.

I always read all the OP's posts. It's automatic now. I open a thread and click "see all" then read them all before commenting.

It's honestly just lazy not to.

It can be amusing though. Anyone remember that thread with the landlady looking for advice and everyone was telling her she MUST DO GAS SAFETY CHECKS even though she repeatedly explained the property had no gas 🤣

I’ve seen quite a few. I do totally agree with you though because the conversation just keeps going back to the original post when (if you follow the conversation) it has moved on

Indeed.

Then they jump in with random comments unrelated to what has been said. Or completely misunderstanding what OP said and 'go off on one'.

The problem with a big thread is everyone just wants a share of the action. They see a thread has 500 posts and thinks there’s something juicy in there, jump in with a cancel the cheque and don’t ever read the OP or the rest of the thread. They’ve been part of it, stuck their elbow in, they don’t need to actually contribute to the answer.

I know any thread over 100 posts in AIBU is likely to be 80 repeats of the same posts and only 20 posts of reasonable questions and answers from the OP. Sometimes I can sift through the shit and find the tiny percentage of useful posts but sometimes I just can’t be arsed to even read those big threads now.

YANBU, but some people are stupid or lazy.

Is it this one? https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5503184-aibu-re-mothers-day?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Definitely NBU, it's so annoying. If I find a thread and the OP is interesting I tend to just read the OPs posts and not bother with other posters replies, that gets a tad annoying when the OP won't quote a poster they're replying to though