Class party for few discussed on class watsapp

[Chickenandegghatched]

DC1 is in yr1. On the class watsapp group a mum is asking can thoose that got individual invites from 5 year old child in paper form please reply as she isn't sure the ones her child picked has received them.
Cue a lot of confusion and some replies.
Then mum comes on to say it is only for x, y, z etc. Please confirm food.
Am I the only sane person that thinks this should have been a private message, not for the class watsapp. Honestly I think its the height of crassness. Maybe just me.
Poor mums have messaged back thinking their child is invited and now appears they are not. Its awkward as hell.

Im saying this from experience. You need to toughen up or you’re going to find the school years hard. It really doesn’t matter but I get it can feel that way.

For clarity I didn't expect my DC to be invited when I read the message but felt awful for thoose of same sex that have clearly been excluded. It just felt so embarrassing

I would see this as strange behaviour too op. She’s either lazy or a show off.

Let it go. Will all sort itself out. The inviting mum probably didn’t know the parents of the children invited so had to group message.

Had I said… is my dc invited? And she’d confirmed the list and wasn’t on it… I would have just moved on without a second thought.

I agree OP, but is it possible that she doesn't know who is which child's parent IYSWIM? Her child has given her the names he wants to invite but she doesn't know the phone numbers of their parents and can't tell from the WhatsApp group (because they're not in her contacts list).

This happened in our group chat a few weeks ago, except the mum didn’t say who was invited just “can anyone who got an invitation please rsvp”. The worst bit was after the party, she sent a message saying thank you for coming!!! Awkward as fuck.

I get not everyone can be invited to everything, but fuck me it stung realising your child didn’t get an invitation. Announcing it in the group chat isn’t on.

But there is a parent/child list in the notes. So could easily identify the few she has invited and message privately. I feel awful for some of the mums that have replied saying "so and so would love to come they will have the nuggets" only to be shot down in flames saying oh sorry I dont think u were meant to get the invite. Its awful

I agree with this.

OP, you have many years of this ahead of you. You’ll have to learn to let it go.

Just seems poor form, sorry

It is BUT

The mother likely didn’t want to do it but didn’t know the parents of all invited so hand was forced

out of interest… do you have any kind of relationship with the inviting mother?

I would agree that it is poor form.
my LO is reception and it is a two form entry so the WhatsApp is for both as the classes mingle a lot. I only invited his class and possibly three that he requested. I didn’t put anything about it on the chat, for this exact reason. The venue my son wanted could not hold the numbers, so it wasn’t malicious but I was concious of making anyone feel like that.
until one Mum decided to thank me afterwards on the chat 😆

It is poor form if she could have easily found the individual parents' numbers and there were only 3 or 4 of them. She's made things awkward when she didn't need to.

shitty mother. Who does that. Many will be feeling the same. Really embarrassing of her to do that

Definitely in this case she is unreasonable. She could have looked at the list and picked the parents she needed to message. Or, as happens at our preschool where there is no WhatsApp, and presumably before WhatsApp groups existed, assumed that if you don't get a response they're not coming. And cater for 1-2 extra just in case.

Yanbu - that's quite rude of her. She could have made her own WhatsApp group for parents of children going to the party.

Amazingly parents managed this sort of thing without WhatsApp.

After this update she is unreasonable and lazy.
Just make a party group with those needed.
Still try not to let it bother you, as you said you didn't think your child was on the invite list.

Is this your first child? I think it’s often a bit of a tough one for parents with their first child to realise that after reception there are not as many all class parties, and they wonder why their kid didn’t get an invite. But for me it was a relief really as they’re quite expensive to host, and I’ve always just presumed that everyone understood that not everyone is going be invited to every party. It’s an important life lesson for kids to not always be invited to everything anyway.

I therefore wouldn’t be bothered by the messages in the class group chat to be honest. But it’s not my first rodeo!!

It's annoying when people use a group chat to discuss private matters. Yanbu.

Also, some people are really thoughtless and inconsiderate as well as not very bright.

Poor form I agree. On ours there is often messages like ‘is Tom’s mum on here?’ Which I assume is to then DM and arrange a play date or party. So if she didn’t know whose mum was who she could have done that.

I personally wouldn’t be offended that my child wasn’t invited BUT she doesn’t always love parties so before accepting I’d have told her she was invited. So then I would be upset because she’d be upset that she actually wasn’t invited after being told she was.

I am the parent that is very rarely at drop off or pick up therefore I find it difficult to Work out Who is the parent of each child. But to avoid any awkwardness or insensitivity, if this were me, I would message One of the parents whose child was invited and ask them to help me out with messaging other parents so that I didn’t create a tricky Situation.

YANBU

it’s pretty rude and awkward plus a waste of peoples time filtering out messages that weren’t for them.

Standard practise for our school is to either message parents directly with invite or create a separate group. Zero mention on whole class group of either invites or party afterwards unless it was a whole class party

This is poor form. It can't be that hard to find the individual parents and make a WhatsApp group.