AIBU To think there is joy to be had in womanhood?

[ProudMammysHouse]

Just saw this tweet by MP Rosie Duffield: https://x.com/RosieDuffield1/status/2032146070046650812

" "Joyful in their womanhood" is something no biological woman has ever said and meant, ever."

And it's just made me really sad for her. I know things aren't perfect and some parts of being a woman are downright unfair but to be this negative about it just seems like there are other issues going on with her.

Am I the only one who has ever felt beautiful, powerful and dare I say, joyful, in my womanhood?

I don't think there's really anything I feel joyful about that a man couldn't plausibly feel too? The one exception is probably feeling my children kick inside me.

Can you articulate specifically what it is about womanhood which gives you joy?

You are right. She's clearly doing womanning wrong.

I think it's the specific joy in 'womanhood' -which I struggle with.

What is 'womanhood'?

I found joy in motherhood as well as frustration and growth.

Is womanhood going through puberty and those aspects of 'becoming a woman'? I didn't find periods or hair growth joyful.

Or is it linked to cultural gender stereotypes - finding joy in clothes/makeup or the revolting 'being kind' - because I find no joy in any of those things.

There are many negative aspects in being a woman - an increased sense of fear in many situations, fighting against societal expectations of being default carer for the entire world.

I will be interested in what aspects of womanhood are seen to be joyful.

Well like someone already said, motherhood. But for me, there is also a sense of special connection through the women in my family, the women who fought for my civil rights, the women who were so spectacular at healing people people really believed they could do magic.

These are all things men couldn't do, maybe physically they could have but not psychologically, not empathetically. And I find joy in that.

Also I'm not saying puberty was a walk in the park and my cycle can be quite annoying but I can't be the only one who actually enjoyed seeing my body change and liking what I saw? But maybe I am.😳

The only thing I learnt from the women in my family, of all past generations is to be very careful around men and not get stuck in a terrible relationship with children I didn't choose to have; to do everything I can to ensure some level of financial independence.

Womanhood was no joy to my relations, it was a trap that society forced you into and men guarded the door to ensure you didn't escape.

Being a woman makes me very happy. If I woke up to be a man tomorrow I'd be well pissed off. My friendships with other women are one of the great joys of my life. I come from a line of women who were strong, warm, clever, brave, loving, generous, successful, creative and with whom you would not mess.

All the angst that comes from being a man? The pissing contests, aggression, violence, war, bravado, buttoned up emotions, machismo shit? Nah, they can keep it.

Like @RobinInTheCrabApple the joy for me is female friendships. And relationships with my sisters and mum. Some men obviously have great relationships but overall I think females often experience closer bonds with others.

I do like being a woman and I am happy with my lot.
I have no issue whatsoever with taking a caring role, a more person focused role, a bit of mentoring and pampering of others. Even if it is a social box to fit in for many (apparently), it actually naturally suits me.
Of course, it can get too much at times. And I speak up in those occassions.
I loved motherhood, but for me womanhood is much more than being a mother.
I love making the house look comfy, I love feeding my family nutricious meals, I love making them feel comfy and cared for, I love teaching them to navigate life from my perspective, I love sharing health and wellbeing tips with others, I have no issues having a male partner that is a protector and provider. Of course, that does not mean that I can do all the house chores and childcare on my own. Because I work full time. And that actually gets in the way of cooking and housekeeping to the level I would like. But I am setting an example of working independant and devoted woman for my daughter, so I hope I manage to spin all the plates.

I think female biology is pretty shit. Women really got the short straw biologically - not only do we have monthly menstruation, which can be devastatingly painful, we're also the ones who can be easily raped, and the ones who carry the entire load of pregnancy and birth, which is exhausting and can injure and even kill us.

And THEN, just when you're past the worst of the exhaustion of kids, the bloody perimenopause kicks you in the teeth for 5 years. When it hit me, I was like Meursault for a while, shaking my fist and cursing the unfairness of the universe.

I celebrate womanhood and love women, and would still rather be a woman than a man, but our biology is a pain in the arse.

I LOVE being a woman, we are by far the better sex with richer lives.

Multiple, all over body orgasms, as often as you want.
I grew up in a rough area/school. I'm glad, as a girl, I didn't have to join in with the violence etc. I wouldn't have wanted the relationship that most of the men, then, had with their children. I enjoyed the early years, breastfeeding etc. I liked having control over if I 'pulled' on a night out. The depth of friendships.

I like being a woman very much. I would hate to be a man.

I don’t feel joy in womanhood. I feel joy for myself. I’ve never had anything happen to me by a man tbh at makes me hate them. In fact, my closest friends are male. My DH is wonderful and so is my son. It’s not womanhood that makes me who I am

Op your joy in womanhood stems from your ancestors being such good healers people thought thry were witches and you think no man could psychologically cope being good at healing??

I think that the compassion, patience and sense of caring for community that those women must have had to not only do it in a time where being a doctor wasn't a million dollar career but also to continue to do it when it put their very lives at risk was something the majority of men wouldn't do. Again, not that men aren't capable but there is a reason almost no wars have been started by women.

I have no particular issue with being a woman, but I can’t think of any joys that don’t apply to men too!

I’m joyful and I’m a woman but I don’t attribute my joy to being a woman. It’s just my sex, like my height, or my ethnicity. Brj v a woman brings me no more joy than being white, or 5ft 7

Puberty was shit, periods were shit, avoiding pregnancy shit, menopause now shit. There's been nothing good or positive for me in female biology; it's only served to make life more difficult,

Where I have found joy is deep and meaningful connections with my female friends, truly something special.

Her point is no woman has ever said it. And I agree. There is no joy in being the sex class where 2 of us die every week at the hands of men.

Ethnicity is also an interesting one because being Irish does bring me joy. My culture, language and history are something I'm proud of and feel like a unique connection. Do white Brits not feel that way?

I think there's joy in getting to be truly yourself as an individual. I can't personally understand the joy in feeling you fit into a socially-imposed category, but each to their own.

Sorry but "joyful in her womanhood" is such a cringey phrase, and if you heard it in a TV drama, you'd change the channel

This is interesting.

I agree with the people who don't feel a specific "joy" related to being a woman. I feel joy in being a mother, but obviously, not all women are mothers. I feel joy in many things, but the fact that I am a woman isn't relevant to any of them.

It is interesting that some people do feel that, because I wonder if it explains the difference in perspective in the debate about trans people. Personally, I just can't understand how it is possible to "feel" like you are/are not a woman, because I feel no inherent identified sense of "womanhood" - I am just me.

If i did feel some deeper sense of commonality between women, then I can see that it might be possible to feel on the outside of that.

I feel like you about being Welsh.

Genuinely sorry you feel that way.

Puberty came very late for me and I will never forget the joy of watching my body change to - finally! - look like a woman's instead of a child's. I found my body so beautiful and miraculous, and was so thrilled and grateful and have never taken it for granted.