Three or four baths a week?

[christonapushbike]

When we redid our bathroom we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months. DSD enjoys using it 3-4 times a week and complains that her ensuite shower isn't usable as the pressure in her shower is 'too low' (its fine- not a power shower but totally usable!). Am I unreasonable to feel this is completely ungrateful attitude and an ensuite is a massive privilege (only she has one in our house) she spends up to 2 hours bathing in our bath and I've worked out each bath costs £3.50 in gas and water (it's 300 litre capacity). When challenged on why she refuses to use her own bathroom she just shrugs/ scowls. Her ensuite is a shower room with a toilet (no bath) for reference.

I’ve a lovely deep bath, installed 5 years ago when we renovated the whole house, kids enjoy it occasionally but I’ve never been in it! I just can’t be bothered taking so long getting washed.

Honestly the next time there's a thread about the cushy lives boomers have had I'll remember this thread. I remember the 50s when it was one bath a week and no showers. It's amazing that people can't understand that people can't afford to do just what they want to do.

Be grateful! Some kids don't like washing at all.she is having a little spa time that's all.dont be mean .let her have her little luxury. Some neals yard bath products. A nice shampoo. All great. Also nothing beats a bath.for monthly pains

Homes are for living in. Installing a bath that you can't afford to fill or use more than 6 times a year is ridiculous.

I only have baths. Just prefer them! Not a shower fan at all.

I dont think people always understand if youre a bath only person you will be having a few a week. A lot of people shower everyday! We bath go-ers still need to clean ourselves!

@Upstartleddid the calculation for gas which was 63p for heating (gas is a LOT cheaper than electric).

so 88.5p for water plus 63p for heating by gas (and op does actually say they have gas) is 151.5 pence.

so if heating by gas it’s basically a pound fifty.

i did try to look up showers but they seem to vary so much in terms of how much water they use that it didn’t seem a useful calculation.

however maybe the dsd could shower like so did in Africa where there was no heated water and so basically turned it on, got wet, turned it off, soaped down and then rinsed off as quickly as possible.
total cost - zero for heating (cold water only) and about 3p for the water.

I hate baths. I never take one. I’ve installed a massive and utterly fabulous bath because it looks good. I enjoy the room looking as it does.

So strange

I hope you're keeping an eye on her cutlery use. She sounds exactly the sort who'll use a spoon for her soup and then expect another one for her dessert.

Why bother installing a bath if you don’t want people to use/enjoy it?! Bonkers! And sounds like a teenager has good hygiene which is great. YABU.

But the OP never said anything even remotely like "we can't afford" or "We are struggling with the increased bills".

Most of her complaint seems to be that the child should be grateful for how priciliged she is to have an ensuite and be allowed use a lovely new bath and that she's just taking the piss using it too much.

I think the responses would be very different if she had worded to the effect "How do I approach my SD about the frequency of her baths, as we are trying to make financial cutbacks".

If she's in the bath for hours she will be filling it up more than once unless she likes lying in cold water.

I get where you’re coming from OP - as kids/ teenagers living at home in the 80s / 90s we had 2 baths a week (& that was a normal sized bath not a super deep one).
I love baths & as a bill paying adult used to have one every day, but sadly the reality nowadays is that they are an expensive luxury for many. DD and I now have baths roughly once a week. DH always showers.

Does your DH agree with you and if so could he tell DSD not to have so many baths and to use the shower.

I shower every day.
I pay my bills so im going to use the water when i like.
My mother was a bath once a week person, no way am i going to live like that.
If i had kids or step kids i would never say no to baths showers everyday.

As Sylvia Plath once said
“ there must be quite a few things a long hot bath can’t sort, but I don’t know any of them’

i gave two baths a day!

Time for a bit of science, maybe? Here goes. Neither matter nor energy can be created nor destroyed in an isolated system. So.... for the cooler eight months of the year try leaving the bath water in for an hour, and you will regain some of the cost of heating the water. Honestly!! And don't anyone dare tell me that it's not true

Have you stopped to think she might be getting some significant regulation from her baths? I discovered around age 12 that having a hot bath with a book was absolutely necessary for my wellbeing. 35 years later that hasn't changed. If she's having four baths a week at 2 hours each I would say she's getting something important from them.

My father thought my insistence on a bath every other day was excessive. He grew up in the 1930s, in a family of seven kids, with a tin bath in front of the fire once a week and they had to share the water, so the first four kids used the same water. I would honestly not bath under such circumstances; I would strip wash instead. Since it's been up to me, I've had a bath or shower every day.

This reminds me of a child being told at breakfast that orange juice is a privilege and should not be be drunk from a dirty glass. The child said the glass had just come from the clean dishwasher, but was still forced to get a new glass from the dishwasher and then had to hold it up ensure there were no smudges or spots before they could have a glass of orange juice.

And that's great if you have hot running water and can afford it.

I have a bloody hot bath every day. I couldn’t really give a shit what it costs. By your calculations it’s only as much as a takeaway coffee, which some people have every day. This is my luxury and I would be very unimpressed with someone else denying me because I’m not worth the money. Anyway, off to have a hot bath.

I prefer showers myself, when we re-did our bathroom we had a nice walk-in shower installed instead of the bath. To each their own. Is your bathroom - the one with the big tub - en suite? Then I would mind the stepdaughter bathing there as I would see my bed&bath ensuite as my private quarters. If your bathroom is a separate room accessible without passing through your bedroom I would let her. At least that fancy bath gets some use. Bit of a weird idea to install a luxury bath to only use it every two months or so 🧐

Every 2-3 months is an odd frequency of use but is the issue that you want her to use her own en suite and not the bathroom with the bath? Is that the main bathroom or your en suite? How old is she? I think it is reasonable to say she use the en suite and you keep the other bathroom for you assuming she's not a young child and maybe say she can use the bath as a treat.

Also OP if you're new to this, stepmothers don't get an easy time in here..:

I have a bath 5-6 times a week, it really calms my nervous system.