Three or four baths a week?

[christonapushbike]

When we redid our bathroom we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months. DSD enjoys using it 3-4 times a week and complains that her ensuite shower isn't usable as the pressure in her shower is 'too low' (its fine- not a power shower but totally usable!). Am I unreasonable to feel this is completely ungrateful attitude and an ensuite is a massive privilege (only she has one in our house) she spends up to 2 hours bathing in our bath and I've worked out each bath costs £3.50 in gas and water (it's 300 litre capacity). When challenged on why she refuses to use her own bathroom she just shrugs/ scowls. Her ensuite is a shower room with a toilet (no bath) for reference.

If she doesn't like her shower & wants a bath, where is she supposed to go?

What is the shower in the main bathroom like?

Of course it could just be that she's only using it because it's not a standard bath.

My mum made a big fuss about installing a new bathroom to suit the whole family so her kids and grandkids could visit at the same time.

Except she insisted that a) not everybody likes showers, b) a shower wouldn't fit and c) only her preferred type of bath would fit.

To which I would reply a) with four extra adults and three kids, it's a real pain to get everyone bathed, b) a shower would fit, and c) the new bath was smaller than the one it replaced, and my dad is 6ft3!

What she really meant was that she doesn't like showers and doesn't see why anyone shouldn't fall in with her bathing regime when visiting. Which is her prerogative (even though it means fewer visits that she wants). But putting in a bath that's too small for my dad is ridiculously selfish.

This!

Why would a shower take 10 minutes? I shower every day and wash my hair and my showers take 3 to 4 minutes

We have a huge stand alone double size bath because DH is a giant. DSD get in twice a day when they’re staying! And they have their own personalised shampoo conditioner and bubble bath. I love that they love it!

You are being so unreasonable that this must be a wind up because no one could be this much of a prick in real life.

So she can't take baths that she enjoys in her own home? Forget about cost for the minute because you could have a sensible discussion about how many baths she can have. This isn't really about the cost though is it?

"we got a lovely big deep tub with the intention of using it as a nice treat approx once every 2-3 months."
Really?!

OP and her husband plan to use the bath once every 2-3 months.

My cleaner costs me about £60 a month, so it is quite a lot of money that could be put towards something else

Of course if I find that my cleaner is also using my bath when she's here then she's toast.

I may be a lone voice here, but I don't like DC having baths.
Mainly because we are on a water meter, and our water is heated up overnight on economy 7. This heats one tank of water.
A bath uses ¾ of the water in the tank, because DC have it full and they wont compromise on that.
So when I am running out of hot water by noon, I have to pay daytime rates to heat the top ⅓ of the tank, because the top up thermostat only heats the top ⅓.
Daytime rate only gives me the top ⅓ of a tank of hot water and costs more than 3 x the economy 7 rate!
So it costs as much to heat up that ⅓ per hour as it does to heat an entire tank per hour overnight.
When DC are having a bath every single day, as they are inclined to do sometimes, it costs a lot of money as well as the inconvenience of constantly running out of hot water for anything else.
Having said that, a couple of baths a week is fine.
We also had a shower with less than ideal pressure, but I found a fantastic relatively cheap shower head online that lived up to all of it's promises of increasing the pressure.

Are you people or prunes? 🤣

you are coming across as very mean

JFC

That's understandable. For me and I think a lot of others there was the usual undertone of wicked step child in the OP's post.

I'm actually suggesting that "is my SD being ungrateful" isn't a question that is going to be helpful in resolving this.
But since you asked, it is my understanding that the bathroom with the bath is a family bathroom and, among other things, OP is aggrieved that she can't use it for two hours 3-4 times per week. In which case it makes sense for parents to have the only bedroom with en suite.

A shower that’s not powerful is uncomfortable and depressing. I’m Team DSD.

I clicked the link expecting it to be a mum worrying they weren't washing their child enough because they were only having the battle 3-4 times a week 😂. I was totally ready to reassure that a strip wash in between is really fine!

the bath is not en suite. The Op says that the sd has the only ensuite in the house.

Baths being frivolous! I take it you hose yourself down from the tap with a sponge scourer.

I have indulgent baths daily. How naughty of me.

Every day, I'm surprised on mn by people who find new and creative ways to try to control the people around them.
Unless you really, really can't afford the water - and in that case, why on earth are you refitting your bathroom at all especially with a deep soaking tub - then you are being so, so unreasonable.
I've never heard anyone suggest that a bath is a 4 times a year thing but I love that mumsnetters are constantly surprising me with this shit.
For me, I have a deep soaking tub, I love a bath. Both me and DH use it every day. It costs less than a Starbucks coffee and I prefer it.
If someone is staying with us we have 2 bathrooms with a shower but if they want to use my bath they are very welcome.
The teenage years can be torture. Having one that wants to keep super clean is really not a problem. Let the girl have a bath.
Maybe have one yourself and unclench a little.

No, I take a short shower. I'm, sadly, not remotely in the typical MN earning bracket and I need to watch my spending. Baths are not my priority and £50 a month could be spent on things which matter more to me. It cannot be a total surprise to you that for some people water rates, gas and electricity are substantial expenses.

I have a bath every day because I like them.
I don't think it's a luxury either.

This is helpful, god bless your,patience. I’m afraid I just thought “what a nasty woman you sound to be” when I read the post.
Perhaps the young woman finds soaking in the bath helpful in alleviating the stress of having such a on old witch as a stepmum. If so,good for her.