What would you do?

[Whatwouldyousayto]

I got a new job in January as an SEN support in school, term time only. When I accepted the job (which I love , and I love the kids and people there) I had a few - 4 - holidays in there term time. The schools round us all have similar but slightly different term times and holidays so my children have a few weeks that differ to the holidays this school has.

When I accepted the job I told them about 3 of the holidays ( holiday one is 1 day, another 4 days and the other a week 5 days ) and that was absolutely fine. They said no problem, they’d honour them
as booked before I started and going forward to only book there holidays which I absolutely will and agree with:

The final holiday number 4 I didn’t mention as I knew I could ring up and move to match the schools holiday a week later: however on ringing up the holiday company it’s £1500 more expensive. We can’t afford/ justify that. It requires 3 days off work. I’m not entitled to parental Leave as I wouldn’t have worked there a year. Bar , saying im sick which I’m reluctant to do as I hate lying and I love where I work and the people , what would you advise to do? Problem is if I ask them and they say no then I can’t go off sick, I morally feel in a conundrum as I can’t lie and wouldn’t want to. I didn’t want to mention holiday 4 as I didn’t want them to think i was taking the mick and I knew I could move it .

Ok I’ll hand my notice in. I’ll live of UC and claim pip . I think that’s what this thread has shown me, there is no point in me working and trying to better myself.

You can’t use a job in a school to try and better yourself. The children are relying on you - it’s not about you, it’s about them. Plus, didn’t you say you are a qualified teacher? Live “of” UC? Or “off”?

After this chat I have thought I’m obviously not good enough. I’m going to hand my notice in. I love my job and the kids but I feel horrible after this chat, I’m guessing that’s what everyone wanted? Posters have gone for me about my spelling and grammar and what if make that mistake in school. So I have reflected on it. I feel like I’ve added real value but I don’t want to work where people could laugh at me like they have on here for spellings .

Yes im a qualified teacher, I couldn’t work the hours as I have my own children so I became a support in an SEN school so I was earning. Before this I was on benefits so I will go back to it as it was the same. But I wanted to work to better myself and my life and my mental health but after this post I give up.

You tell me and educate me what is it … of or off big man 😉

Does mumsnet make anyone else sad? It used to be so lovely and supportive and a platform to chat. Now it reflects the world- it’s cruel. It’s people trying to cause arguments or if someone’s life doesn’t fit into their narrative they judge. There’s horrible stuff going on in the like world- wars, bullying , manosphere and I think yeah I can see why as on here is a reflection on that. Kind people seem to have gone and we live in a harsh society. I grew up in a Christian house where we had such a sense of community and care for one another and those around us. I worry this has gone and I can’t see how it’ll come back. My job felt like this- a happy little team where I love the kids but I just get hate on here for spellings and grammar to belittle me? Does it make you all feel good about yourselves ? Hiding behind screens trying to ridicule and bring people down?

Air travel puts huge amounts of greenhouse gases into the air, which heats the planet. We should all stop flying. I know it's not going to happen, but we should. DH is into this stuff ( he's a government scientist). He has a carbon dioxide meter. The amount of CO2 in the air around us - not just up where planes are but actually in our homes - has gone up hugely over the past 60 years or so. Anyway. Yes, air travel affects climate change. Last year was the hottest year 😞

The point about the spelling is that your job involves teaching children correct spelling and grammar. Someone said you should learn how to use there and their - this is pretty fundamental in your job. But it was just an observation, not intended to destroy you. MN still is supportive. You're now acting as if you're being bullied, which you aren't. It sounds as if you really enjoy your job, which is great. Children need people like you.

Most sensible thing I've seen on this thread!

@Whatwouldyousayto I'm surprised you stayed around this long and didn't abandon this long ago! I've never seen so many posts on a thread deleted my MN 🤣

OP said she worked full time

OP said she worked full time

But OP, it does seem strange that a qualified teacher is so poor at spelling common words and making mistakes like mixing up 'bear' and 'bare'. People are bound to notice and comment, surely .

I apologise for my poor spelling

Get a different job where you aren’t letting children down.

I will add as everyone has been going on about my spelling and grammar- when I did teach, my TA would check things for me and I would use spell check and grammar checks. It was my weakness but I had tools to overcome it. It didn’t mean I was a bad teacher. However on here it’s been used as a stick to mock me with. I always got outstanding when inspected and now I’m a support for SEN , what matters is how I treat and care and look after the children. I would much rather prefer a nice person to someone who could spell well any day with my children.

Agree! Well no I won’t work but I agree with you!

I’m not going by plane

Yes it is sad but it says more about them than you. Normal people would either offer constructive advice or just scroll on. The ones who take the time out of their lives to stop and comment purely to be mean clearly have some issues. Probably insecurity, jealousy, just general unhappiness of some kind.

I expect the odd cutting remark on MN, it’s part of the craic. But you’re right that it’s become a very cruel and unpleasant place. Take no notice.

Parental leave isn’t meant for taking holidays when you’re meant to be working - it’s not considered extra parent AL

How can you think 10 days off in term time is ‘no biggie’? It’s a term time only job! That’s 2 weeks off.

They value you and you always step in……you’ve only been there 5 minutes! And a week of that was half term.

AIBU is a cesspit OP, it's where the trolls and nasties hang out just waiting to jump on anything they can get their superior little claws in to

I’m astounded that you have taken a job working in a school and are planning that after being there a year you will just take leave if it doesn’t fit in with your children’s term times. Not much loyalty there.
As for the holiday this year I suggest you offer to take unpaid leave.

Agree. Trying too hard to be cutting, yet all that comes across is the an unpleasant character.