What would you do?

[Whatwouldyousayto]

I got a new job in January as an SEN support in school, term time only. When I accepted the job (which I love , and I love the kids and people there) I had a few - 4 - holidays in there term time. The schools round us all have similar but slightly different term times and holidays so my children have a few weeks that differ to the holidays this school has.

When I accepted the job I told them about 3 of the holidays ( holiday one is 1 day, another 4 days and the other a week 5 days ) and that was absolutely fine. They said no problem, they’d honour them
as booked before I started and going forward to only book there holidays which I absolutely will and agree with:

The final holiday number 4 I didn’t mention as I knew I could ring up and move to match the schools holiday a week later: however on ringing up the holiday company it’s £1500 more expensive. We can’t afford/ justify that. It requires 3 days off work. I’m not entitled to parental Leave as I wouldn’t have worked there a year. Bar , saying im sick which I’m reluctant to do as I hate lying and I love where I work and the people , what would you advise to do? Problem is if I ask them and they say no then I can’t go off sick, I morally feel in a conundrum as I can’t lie and wouldn’t want to. I didn’t want to mention holiday 4 as I didn’t want them to think i was taking the mick and I knew I could move it .

Why?! The other 3 fall out of term time- I’ll be there with my margarita in hand living my best life. Why would I cancel holidays?!

Because you can’t afford them at the time of year you can go.

Make sure you educate yourself on the difference between ‘there’ and ‘their’ before you start your new job, babe

Yes! I asked a serious question and straight away it went down the usual judgy mumsnet route. Making presumptions, going down rabbit holes - mumsnet has become mental! You can’t have normal adult conversations anymore as people respond so oddly. Pick at the smallest details that are not relevant etc So I give up . I’ve made a call anyway how I’ll deal with it . But I’ve given up on this thread… I’m sat here now on popcorn 🍿 watch it’s like bait 😅

Thanks babe I love how we’re all using this term- I love the term babe- makes me feel warm and fuzzy 😘😘😘

If you have a partner (I don’t want to assume) can’t they take the kids on this one so you don’t take even more time off? I understand it was all booked before you got the job so that’s fair enough but I do think you shouldn’t go unless you pay to change the dates. You’ll have six other holidays this year so it’ll be ok. Enjoy a few days of alone time after work!

Firstly, You replied ',ok babe' to a reasonable post really. That post was just saying that personally she thought it did seem a Biggie. It wasn't judgemental. Amongst other replies you've done.
So I think you decided quite early on you were going to sit there with the popcorn stoking it

It's a pretty natural assumption to make that if you have 7 (abroad?) holidays a year, that £1500 isn't that big of a deal, it doesn't really matter who's paying for it.

It sounds like you are more bothered about the principle of it costing more, rather than the cost itself, which is fair enough, but surely you would have considered changing a term time holiday to one in school holidays holidays would cost more?

Is cancelling it an option and looking for something else to fill it?

This was my suggestion really, but to just fly out 3 days later.

OP: what should I do
MN: pay the difference
OP: omg the rabbit holes and judgement I can’t cope

classic

Exactly. If the OP speaks to her employer the same way it won't go well.

😂😂😂 banter witty banter 😂😂😂

Shit that’s exactly what I was going to do as well 🙌

Tell them what you said here you thought you could move it but you can't, without paying a lot extra. Could you cancel it?

Could you say someone has booked as a surprise and they've just told you when you were talking how bad you feel about having term time hols already?

I am so highly strung thank you for recognising that! I’m on the edge - oh and I’m full time!

Some people seem very jealous of your holidays op 😂

Demand? 🤨

It’s just a totally detailed thread now 🤦‍♀️ but some people have given some great advice! Anyway I better get back to work which I love but I have learned not to ask on here again!

What to do? Either pay up or don’t go. I think you are really pushing it to add another holiday during term time.

People have tried to help but you have just come across as unpleasant.

Parental leave becomes a day one right in April so if the holiday is after that you can try it. But parental leave requests can be denied for "operational reasons" so it's a risk.

It’s because I gave up. I agree some replies were lovely and actually have helped but others were straight from the get go, judgy. I don’t judge people- I couldn’t care less how many holidays someone had. It wouldn’t be an issue if I didn’t have a term time job. I have had people make presumptions about affordability etc. it’s tiresome. I wanted actual advice- I love my job, I love the kids and the staff and I make a great impact there . So yes I came across badly as I gave up. I feel you can’t write on mumsnet without being launched at and random irrelevant things being said!

though I have decided what to do now so won’t respond anymore on here.

This 💯

I wouldn’t class one day off as a holiday but I see how it might affect their view of you give the one you need approving is a bit longer.

As the poster I quoted pointed out: the job market is dire and you would come across as having deceived your employer in the initial interview. It’s your problem to sort and I wouldn’t be telling the school about this holiday that you initially kept quiet about. If you can afford 7 „holidays“ or days out per year then you can afford to take the financial hit for your mistake in assuming you could move the 4th one.