AIBU to expect teachers to keep to parents’ evening time slots?

[Skipin29]

Waiting past my time every parent’s evening and then when I’m seen it’s rushed through and I don’t get the full 10 minutes.

You need to tell the waffling parents that their time is up and if you personally need to speak to the parent for more time then book them in a double slot.

Ypur DD waffles on? Tell her enough. I don’t think chikdren should be in the meetings. Anything I want to say to them direct I would already have said. There might be things either the parent or teacher need to discuss without the child’s presence.

They're pupil-led, so they have the children in the meeting and they lead the discussion. And she's autistic, so it's trying to keep her focused on the topic

That is not our experience. We have often had difficulty cutting the pleasantries short and getting the teachers to issues regarding our DC. Also some like to talk at length about what the class has a whole have been doing, or will do, or a bit of software they have just discovered.

The other consideration is that parents are given the opportunity to make a separate appointment if they overrun. This is yet more time for the teacher to work. Teachers will happily do this in the interests of their pupils, but all some people do is complain.

I used to run to time, because I adopted a very fast paced approach. I went in with asking if there were any concerns. Then I could tackle those immediately. If not, I'd offer a concise update. As soon as there was a lull, I'd ask if there was anything else. If not, I'd send them on their way. It was quick and efficient.

I'd also turn it on its head. Teachers will often have to sit and wait without any parents, waiting for people running late, or sometimes who just haven't turned up at all.

In my eighteen years of teaching, I never had a parents’ evening run to time. Teachers do their very best to see everyone and some evenings I was the last man standing, often an hour over if I had two (or even three) classes to see. Be kinder and more considerate towards the very busy teachers, you aren’t the only one with a child at the school!

Don’t people on here love teacher bashing? Maybe that student needs extra support, so get over yourself.

I feel your pain. Totally inappropriate in my view - I mean, I can see the value in them, but there needs to be a pupil free meeting as well.

What the class has been doing is relevant to how your child coped. Software might be something to help your child. But fine. You know best. I’d stop going to parents’ evenings if I were you. Nobody has anything they can offer.

Yup. My first question was always ‘Is there anything in particular you want to discuss?’ I once had a parent get up and say ‘I’m not taking this’ at that point and complain that I’d asked what he was there for.

She literally says They’re in person at primary and this is very much the pitfall, some parents waffle on and on and overrun

And now look at what she says about secondary.

Parents evening is pretty grueling as a teacher. Firstly, you've worked all day. Secondly, you're expected to run like 12-15 meetings (10 minutes in my case) consecutively, with no down time in between. Just straight to the next person, no chance to think or mentally prepare for the next person. There is always a conversation that needs more time, but you might not know it in advance. Just like a doctors surgery. Throws everything out, including any moment you might have planned in as a break. The evening often takes place in the afternoon evening at the expense of your own time and family. Its absolutely exhausting, and it usually affects you the next day.

What did the teacher say when you asked for more time to cover the issues you hadn’t been able to cover and needed to discuss?

Loving the analogy multiple ppl are making of the doctors surgery……..people do nothing but complain about doctors running overtime! As for ‘nobody would yell or be rude at the doctor’s’ 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Online prevents this -

The session cuts out

How am I meant to understand how my child coped from ‘this term we are working on sustainability, next term we will study cell biology which will cover x, y, z…? I know that information from the curriculum, it tells me nothing specifically about my child or how they are coping, what they are scoring in their tests, where they sit relative to their peers or age expectations, what strengths there are or areas we might need to support at home. Fortunately we now have in-person parents evenings so it is much easier to cut this short and get to the point in a way it is very difficult to do online.

It's been a while since I taught in the UK so I appreciate that this may not be totally relevant. However, here in Finland we have (as class teachers at least) a couple of months when we are supposed to have our parent-teacher meetings. The parents can then choose from options when to come and I can set the appointment length to what I want and include a buffer zone between them if they overrun or to write notes in the system (we have to briefly document what was discussed). It seems to work quite well. I realise though that it's a different system.

Unless its important they speak to you then I wouldnt bother making an appointment. If teacher or you are concerned then either could/should arrange a separate meeting. Its all a PR exercise.

I’m a teacher…33 years and still counting 😬

I don’t run over time, and honestly, it’s not that hard to end a meeting if you’re ’polite but firm’.

I have a set approach that’s never let me down. I make sure I’m sat facing the wall clock and ask ‘is there anything particular you would like to chat about today, or should I just tell you how they’re doing in class this term?’

If they’ve got an issue, I quickly work out if that’s something we can resolve ‘now’ or if it needs more time. If it needs more time, I say so, and make another appointment at a different time ‘so we can give it the space it needs’ 👌🏻

If there’s no issues, I quickly summarise how their child is doing in class, then stand up and say, ‘Thanks for coming, I’ll walk you out,” and head towards the door.

I was taught this by my mentor as a student teacher…and I am forever in her debt 😂

I know some (many!) teachers struggle though, as parents obviously want to chat about their child (I’m a parent and fully understand this).

Does your child's school, not time PEs to run after an interim report? At my last school, they were always done this way, so there was a reference point.

Much better system, isn't it? No rush, no stress and always enough time - had plenty of time at DS's appointment this year to cover all my concerns and for his teacher to tell all about what they're learning and how he's doing and no one was kept waiting, the next family was just arriving when we left.

Not at all, but TBH the other parents are usually to fault. God knows what kind of entitlement would make a parent believe that they can keep the teacher talking for 20+ minutes when each meeting is supposed to be 10? If you have that much to discuss then make an appointment on your own time and not on everyone else’s time. The teacher should have an egg timer on their desks and when 10 minutes is up, out you get.

One parents evening I went to they had recorded different hooter sounds (ship, train, car) and played these when it was time to move on. Worked well and made everyone laugh