AIBU to expect teachers to keep to parents’ evening time slots?

[Skipin29]

Waiting past my time every parent’s evening and then when I’m seen it’s rushed through and I don’t get the full 10 minutes.

You need to tell the waffling parents that their time is up and if you personally need to speak to the parent for more time then book them in a double slot.

I much preferred the online parent evenings where you got a timed slot that automatically ended on the dot.

In person there's always some parents hogging the time, so I'm late to see the teacher for my slot and all of the slots thereafter. Then you get teachers "telling you off" for being late or not there at all because they've fucked off home. Give me online any day!

Parents who don't think about the impact on others. No surprise.

Don't blame the teachers. We all know people who cannot keep a conversation short and to the point.

This is where online meetings are brilliant.
They cut off after the prescribed time.

I don’t mind teachers running late, but I don’t appreciate being hurried along so they can catch up time because someone else has run over. If it’s supposed to be 10 minutes then I expect to use that time.

Just get a bit of patience- take a book.

Each slot at my childrens high school for parents evening was 5mins.

one teacher had a 5 minute timer, she spoke for 4 minutes asked if we had any questions then as soon as the timer went off, she said, right that’s us! End of ! 😂

As a parent and a teacher, I think the online parents’ evening is far superior for all the reasons PP have said but parents at my school complain if they don’t get some in person meetings. So some years are online and some in person. But parents complain appointment slots aren’t long enough. There are a set number of hours of directed time outside teaching hours in which teachers can be directed to work (this includes for meetings, parents evenings and professional development but of course doesn’t include planning and marking ) which means we can’t ask teachers to do unlimited hours of parents evenings. In most schools 10 minutes per parent would be 300 hours per class in ks3 and therefore not manageable in directed time (plus would make the working day ridiculously long) so ours are 5 minute slots. Even then if you teach more than one class in the same yeargroup it’s very challenging. We have tried writing to parents of students who have no concerns to suggest they don’t need an appointment ; many complained about this too. I understand both sides but it’s tricky to navigate and inevitably some parents are always dissatisfied- schools and most teachers are doing their best to reach an acceptable compromise.

These conversations are a daily part of being a teacher. We inform agencies of course and referrals are made etc in the same way you do but having discussions like these is just one of the many responsibilities placed upon teachers these days. I speak at length to very vulnerable parents about the very difficult situations they are in on a daily basis. I wish we had more money in school to have someone whose sole role it was to support them. I know this is the case in quite a few larger schools but not typical in small primary schools.

Voted YANBU because of the double time slot thing but I don't think YABU to be frustrated.

As a teacher I have learnt to stick to the "5 minute appointment chat" and keep it really concise as far as I can. That said, delays still happen. My school lets parents sign up to appointments on their own, so they often book them back to back, which doesn't take into consideration time to travel between teachers. I've had some very irate parents and students when I've told them unfortunately they've missed their appointment time but they can see if I'm free later.

I always have parents turning up at random times when they see me available and I say yes to the chat with the caveat that I have to stop if someone who's booked that time shows up.

When I was less experienced I did used to run over my appointment times and saw the chaos it caused!

But also we have no control over appointment bookings and sometimes chaos ensues even with our best efforts. Sometimes you cannot get rid of a waffler without being unprofessionally rude, I've had parents just ignore every overt effort I've made to point out the other parent waiting behind them and keep asking me questions.

Not in my school. Parents are king. The loud ones are emperors.

Our parents evenings run until 7.30 and most staff are still there by 8. We have our own lives and families, too, but that never matters.

That's where my own primary excelled. School reports were detailed and also showed our termly test results and what position we were in the class. So no real need for parents evenings although there was one each year

Thats rough. I wonder how the local GP deals with those situations in a clinic.

Even though teachers will be the first point of contact especially in DV they simply do not have the skills and knowledge (and brain space) to handle those issues well.

Maybe having a social worker on call on the phone during parent meetings could be a step in the right direction- then you could just hand the phone over to them and leave the room and conduct the other parents interviews somewhere else.

The difference with parents' evenings, particularly at secondary school is that it's not just one appointment, it could be up to 10 different appointments, so when your first runs late, you're late for all the others, even if you leave gaps between each appointment, especially when you have to frantically run up and down corridors between rooms, then you find someone else has gone in before you, which makes you later. Nothing like doctors' appointments at all. If you end up very late, then they tell you to come back at the end, but then you find some of the teachers have gone (the ones who managed to keep roughly to time), so you miss them completely.

Love the fucking off home after a 12 hour day 😂 I know it's frustrating and not your fault at all in that situation. Unfortunately not really fair to ask teachers to wait until the end of the evening for all students' parents who haven't turned up to appointments, in case they come later - there's always some that book and don't attend the evening at all. Our school won't let us do online as parents complained. One school I worked in told us to leave our assigned areas and wander the school trying to find parents of kids we really wanted to speak to 🙄 as if that wouldn't inconvenience everybody else!

I've had parents evenings where I've stayed half an hour beyond the supposed end of the evening to speak to parents who came as it was supposed to be ending. I absolutely wouldn't do this anymore now I have a DC of my own, though I don't think that should be the only reason. If anyone asks for written feedback because they can't attend, I always oblige

I use a timer at parents night. It should really be a progress meeting/quick chat in primary not a forum to raise issues about asn, bullying, concerns I wouldn't be waiting until parents night for these to be discussed

I loved when DS school moved to online parents evening, it means everything runs to time.
I think it means you get to the points quickly, and requires you to be prepared if you have any questions.
Last year they added one f2f, and yes it’s frustrating when people waffle on but I try and stay calm. It’s not the teachers fault.
Our slots are only 5 minutes but sometimes they’ve finished quicker and I am happy with this.

I'm a teacher and most of us have a timer and you do really have to cut off waffling parents.

There tend to be delays, in secondary schools, at the 'important' subjects, where everyone wants to go.

My subject - not important - rarely had queues. At one time we had a parents' day. A whole day to meet parents - almost as much time as you wanted. It was in school hours and so not a 12 hour day as can happen with a traditional evening. I had a vertical form and so discussed siblings in my form.

What is a pain is where separated parents want, and expect, a slot each. Sorry no. (unless really exceptional circumstances.)

For the teachers dealing with difficult disclosures do you think more was missed if you now are online with a cut off. I suppose you might not know but if you got them maybe every other parent evening face to face do you get any online when it will actually cut off. Do you think there are other opportunities for parents to bring things up?

So it’s ok if the teacher has to do (even more) unpaid overtime as long as it doesn’t affect you? And people wonder why there’s a teacher recruitment and retention crisis.
the poster said she makes extra appointments

No that's not ok but then again why is the teachers time considered more important than the parents time

I used to wander round, towards the end, and pick off parents who were waiting to see Maths/English etc. I know they were there as they'd signed in but had missed their slot with me.
I'd do my chat whilst they were queuing.

DD’s school is really good at keeping to time for appointments, they have a buzzer and when your time is up it’s up! Works really well.

Substitute the word teacher for GP/doctor…for example GP has 10mins per patient but there will always be those that want to discuss more than 1 issue or multiple issues, all in one appointment slot

I don’t envy either of them!

Exactly this! I’ve had parents reveal their own terminal diagnoses, miscarriages, planned divorces, fears for family stuck in war zones… sometimes, yes, there is just waffle, but other times I just can’t tell someone their 15 minutes is up

Online parents evening appointments were great! Everyone got their allocated times & then it just cut off! Bet the teachers loved it!