AIBU to expect teachers to keep to parents’ evening time slots?

[Skipin29]

Waiting past my time every parent’s evening and then when I’m seen it’s rushed through and I don’t get the full 10 minutes.

You need to tell the waffling parents that their time is up and if you personally need to speak to the parent for more time then book them in a double slot.

The teacher will be feeling really stressed about it running over, we definitely aren’t sat there thinking ‘oh I can see I’m fifteen minutes late and there’s a queue outside but fuck it, I’ll just carry on!’
Anybody who says it’s not the same as a doctor’s appointment - in my catchment area I find out many situations at parent meetings which are equally as serious as a medical appointment. With all the professionalism in the world, I can’t just cut off somebody in the process of telling me their husband has just beaten them up / they’ve relapsed and are taking Class A drugs again / their child has been a victim of sexual abuse / they have been kicked out and are living in a hostel with their children. Yes, it would be better to discuss these issues in a separate meeting but it’s often when parents decide to disclose them and I could never just say ‘times up!’

Like Amandaland and the Hunger Games😀

I'm ruthless - positives, areas to improve, any questions/concerns? Thanks, bye.

You’d probably be moaning your meetings got ended mid sentence and the teachers were rude if they just cut you off and made you move on…

Online parents evening for the win. Probably for all concerned.
Our secondary used to set back to back appointments with teachers in different blocks that were 5 min walk away. It was impossible for parents and teachers to keep to the schedule, however well intentioned. It works much better online. And I email a teacher if I have anything particular concern outside parents evening, and I got an email from a teacher yesterday so there are other communication methods available (at our school anyway)

Some children are struggling in class, have health issues or family difficulties, some parents have additional needs too. There are lots of genuine reasons why some parents take longer.

I have a child with SEN and that means parents evenings often take longer - we try our best to rush through the polite pleasantries and get onto the important stuff but teachers are often nervous about raising difficulties a child has.

I also have a very bright competent child and rattle though our teacher appointments for them in no time.

I hated online appointments and was so glad to get back to in person appointments. Ours are in the school hall with teachers at exam tables next to each other, so not far to walk, and the next set of parents two foot away. It always amazes me how they finish the whole evening pretty much on time. The senior management team prowl the hall moving parents on,

My DCs teacher sets a timer for 10minutes so the parents are prompted to leave. Though I’m sure it must be difficult to get all the parents to actually follow this.

Then you should be picking the last slot if you have lots to discuss

A colleague of mine acquired a bar labelled "Next" from a local supermarket, the type that goes between customers' items on the conveyor belt. Initially very effective but one parent got really upset........she was a real maverick and I miss her dearly.
At my last school, we actually had a system where a letter could be send to the parents of a child if we felt a ten-minute slot would not suffice, suggesting another time.

If you had more to say you should have carried on for your allocated time.

If you have a genuine need for a longer appointment say Sen and such the school
should already know this and allocate you times that are suitable for longer appointments even if it’s a different day to main parents evening.

That’s again a failure on management.

From my experience that info often comes out when a parent is at their witts end and they just need a vent. It really does happen at these meetings more than people realise. I've sat in with a parent more than once of a child who is struggling and mom or dad reveal they are battling serious illness at home or domestic issues. It does startle you but you have to be compasionate too.

You are right about the pastoral bit but usually it's just a moment where the parent is overwhelmed and they blurt it out.

I know it holds up other parents in the line but I l'm human just like anyone else and I do give that extra time.

Glad I’m retired and don’t have to put up with parents like you OP!

Yes it’s like this. Digging and digging.

Wha the ones that arrive on time and don’t take the piss?

I’m in listening distance to all meetings these are not the things holding up the queue

What more did you need to ask the teacher?

If your kid is doing well, it doesn't take much time.

Email the school and ask if they have considered moving parents evening back online? The teachers and other parents will thank you. As a parent and a teacher it’s a million times better.

YABU some meetings will take longer than others 🤷 they can only really estimate how long they'll take

So that the teacher ends up leaving half an hour after the end of parents’ evening (having taught all day then talked to dozens of parents)? Parents’ evenings usually mean a mid-week 12-hour working day.

I don't think anyone is unreasonable in this situation but it sounds like the teacher involved may need some support with dealing with tricky customers. Its an easy fix and could be basic practical training done on Teacher only days.

I used to work in healthcare and ran clinics. Seeing one patient after another is exhausting. When get patients that run late and then expect the full time they can be quite disorganised and also intimidating. Its a tough situation, but I was firm that other patients shouldn't wait because someone couldn't manage their time. There were a couple of aggressive responses to that policy, but they usually were right on time for the next appointment.

I would let the school know so they can support the teacher with this skill, and make sure you have the earliest appointment you can get because this will be when the teacher is at their freshest.

As a former teacher it's very difficult to stop verbose parents.

You itch for the conversation to stop, it seems to dry up and then they're off again.

You don't want to seem rude and shut them up - as either they are real Karens of parents and/or you feel something important is coming up.

It works best when a stern TA manages your queue/over stayers. Even then.....

Whilst some parents do take the piss time slots are never an exact science.

I would be interested to know if there is a system in place for this.

In my clinic if a patient disclosed any of the situations above that was reported we would never expect the clinican to be the sounding board for that situation. We would listen to their disclosure, identify its a disclosure that puts the child at risk, and then rapid process of a more qualified profession would be called to continue (in our case a social worker).

Expecting a teacher to handle this situation in the middle of a parents evening seems like an unreasonable ask.

DD was a quiet well behaved girl. So parents evening for us was waiting for over an hour past our appointment time, whilst the teacher had very long conversations with other parents. Then speaking to us as quickly as possible to get rid of us.
I actually think that if they know there are zero issues, those parents should be on a separate evening/after school.
I stopped DH coming as it was a waste of his AL in the end.