Faith schools...yeah, im probably being unreasonable, and hypocritical BUT........

[lucyellensmum]

I received a letter from the school i want DD to go to. It is a catholic school. She is christened a catholic, i am a catholic and went to the same school. DD is 2.9 and will be starting school next september.

There are a lot of threads on here berating the hypocrisy (sp) of parents who attend church just to get their child into the best school. So, this school is by far the best local school, by miles!! BUT i genuinely want her to go to a CATHOLIC school. I want her to have religious education, i want it to be catholic and i want her to understand about Jesus and learn all about living a decent christian life. And yes, i do stick to those values just as much as I can. BUT and this is where i suspect i will get flamed. I DON'T GO TO CHURCH.

I dont go to church because, a) we dont get much family time and my DP is not a catholic. b) our priest, love his heart, is the most boring, dull man on the entire planet and c) how can i expect a two year old to sit though a service and be quiet for a whole hour while he witters on about stuff I don't understand. I actually enjoy the catholic mass, but it does go on, he is particularly dull and we stopped going when DD became mobile. She is two young to go off to the childrens liturgy and i quite frankly don't want to go.

SO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i gets the letter from the school saying because the school has been told they are over subscribing to catholics they are making their admission more strict for catholic children. There is a form for the priest to fill in, it states whether the parents attend church, weekly, monthly, occasionally, never.arrrghhhhhhh. Of course dear old Father K sees straight through all of us and insists we go to church at every bloody opportunity. So, the form has to be filled in by december and returned to the school. I have now been put in a position where i feel like a hypocrit for going to church so my child can attend a faith school. But i AM a catholic, i DO believe in God and i want my child to be raised in the cathloic faith. I just don't want to have to attend church with a bored two year old when quite frankly i could be spending the time better having quality family time and im sure the man upstairs would appreciate that!!!

MAybe she would have had better opportunity to attend if i were a bloody atheist!! The school is oversubscribing to catholics,,,,,,,,,,well the last time i checked, it was a catholic school.

I should just choose a different school. I would have liked my DCs to go to a very good Cof E secondary but was not prepared to jump through all the right hoops to get a letter from the vicar.

Two points: I attend mass with three children aged four and under - sit at the back, take some small (non-noisy) toys and it will be fine. But our priest would be highly about anyone starting to attend six months before school applications needed to be in.

Second: despite getting letter from priest we didn't get dd1 into the attached school so even if you do attend, depending how popular the school is/how many sibling places come up in that year/how far away you live, it isn't a guarantee.

First option: get your dp to mind your dd
(or have I missed your explanation as to why this can't be done?)

Second option: if time is inconvenient, see if there is somewhere that has early morning mass or something- so you can slip out why the others are still asleep.

Third option: consider other schools.

If you want your child to grow up with certain values, remember that noone is going to have a greater influence on you than their mother- however good the school you will have to do the best part of the job.

i go to mass with a 4 1/2 year old and a 2 year old. i do spend quite a bit of time chasing the 2 year old around (who is obsessed with blowing out all the candles near the altar) and grimacing at loud proclamations of my 4 year old that she can't see where God is even if we are in God's house....our priest would say they would rather have the children there creating chaos than not there at all

My DH is not catholic, but he agrees that this is an important part of the children's lives. He sits in the car outside waiting for us to finish, reading the paper and having coffee (bliss for him)

We try to go every Sunday, but yes sometimes, we can't. Yes, there are more "fun" things to do, but really an hour a week is not much to ask. Plus it means we're all up and about all dressed -- whereas i could have easily spent that morning just potting around in pajamas with the kids. We normally head off to a park somewhere post church.

My kids don't go to the Catholic school attached to the church -- not close enough so i didn't bother to apply. I figured she can learn a bit more about her faith through me (hahaha, yeah right) and going to church.

Page62 - does your church have any kind of Sunday School where children go out of the main service to do something more suited to their age group?

I believe some Catholic churches call it Children's Liturgy. Protestant churches call it Vestry Time or Junior Church.

If your church has nothing, maybe you could suggest it? It works really well in our Anglican church. We have 2 groups, one for up to about age 6, and another for older ones. There is a rota for group leaders, so the same person doesn't do it every week.

Oblomov - I am to hear that a Catholic priest said you were not welcome at his church. Have you thought of writing to his bishop to ask if this is in accordance with Catholic doctrine? - because I suspect it isn't.

I was brought up and educated Catholic but left after the priest tried to persuade my non-catholic dh not to marry me, and also gave us orders about how we were to live our lives, in areas for which we had not asked advice.

YABU Catholic Schools are part funded by the Church and therefore the collection plate taken at mass. If you're not there, you can't contribute. So why should you expect to get something for nothing.

the 'strength' of the catholisism seems to vary from area to area and church to church, i think. where i live i see courses for catholic singles being offered for those who find themselves on their own through bereavement and divorce.

i take DS to mass. DH also catholic can't be arsed most of the itme. he takes his toys and plays kinda quietly with other kids (DS, that is). the church is packed and noisy and the priest is fairly young and pretty easy going. i actually find the sermon the most interesting bit as he gives it relevance to our lives and sometimes, to put things into context, i can get a bit of a history lesson as well.

i really think i you want your child to go to catholic school, you have to take them to mass. school and mass are very intertwined with all the religious festivals etc.

yes, sometimes it is a pain in the ass, especially if it's raining and i'm hungover, but it's like the gym, no pain no gain

bunnybaby - ROTFL at the school being funded by collection money! For one thing, im pretty sure that wouldnt be legal, also, i think it would just about buy, ooh, a few books and a set of paints. At our church the money is usually split between charitable works done by the church in the local community and for wider catholic charities in the third world. I think the catholic church has very few worries about funding itself, being the single most wealthy organisation in the world

Expecting something for nothing? lol - so i guess anyone who doesn't send their child to a private school is a sponger who expects their childs education to be provided for nothing then and is relying on tax payers to pay for it.

I'm really glad i have started this thread actually. I do suspect there are lots of parents who do attend church just to get their child into school and i don't want to do this. Those of you who said i should also take responsibility for her religeous education are right too. So, i will be taking DD along to mass on sunday, i will see if she can attend the liturgy, which i know they do, she will love it as they always make stuff and present it at mass - so she will be in her little craft element there

Thankyou for all of your honest replies and for making the suggestion about the liturgy. DP has made it clear though that i will be going alone (thats pretty much an hour he owes me then )