Faith schools...yeah, im probably being unreasonable, and hypocritical BUT........

[lucyellensmum]

I received a letter from the school i want DD to go to. It is a catholic school. She is christened a catholic, i am a catholic and went to the same school. DD is 2.9 and will be starting school next september.

There are a lot of threads on here berating the hypocrisy (sp) of parents who attend church just to get their child into the best school. So, this school is by far the best local school, by miles!! BUT i genuinely want her to go to a CATHOLIC school. I want her to have religious education, i want it to be catholic and i want her to understand about Jesus and learn all about living a decent christian life. And yes, i do stick to those values just as much as I can. BUT and this is where i suspect i will get flamed. I DON'T GO TO CHURCH.

I dont go to church because, a) we dont get much family time and my DP is not a catholic. b) our priest, love his heart, is the most boring, dull man on the entire planet and c) how can i expect a two year old to sit though a service and be quiet for a whole hour while he witters on about stuff I don't understand. I actually enjoy the catholic mass, but it does go on, he is particularly dull and we stopped going when DD became mobile. She is two young to go off to the childrens liturgy and i quite frankly don't want to go.

SO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i gets the letter from the school saying because the school has been told they are over subscribing to catholics they are making their admission more strict for catholic children. There is a form for the priest to fill in, it states whether the parents attend church, weekly, monthly, occasionally, never.arrrghhhhhhh. Of course dear old Father K sees straight through all of us and insists we go to church at every bloody opportunity. So, the form has to be filled in by december and returned to the school. I have now been put in a position where i feel like a hypocrit for going to church so my child can attend a faith school. But i AM a catholic, i DO believe in God and i want my child to be raised in the cathloic faith. I just don't want to have to attend church with a bored two year old when quite frankly i could be spending the time better having quality family time and im sure the man upstairs would appreciate that!!!

MAybe she would have had better opportunity to attend if i were a bloody atheist!! The school is oversubscribing to catholics,,,,,,,,,,well the last time i checked, it was a catholic school.

Sipser, he had never met me before we enrolled ds in the baptism classses. He said it , to my face, infront of dh.
And then when I asked him a question, re something to do witht he course, he said, " I can't discuss that with you, I need to talk to your dh"
Anyway, this is by the by.
I do agree. Taking a child to mass is not easy. But it only gets easier for them with regular attendance. Plus she could probbaly go inot the childrens club bit - our church ha one where the kids go seperatly during the family mass.
I agree, if you want to go to a catholic school, you can not object to regular mass attendance.
We get away with it. But most don't.

Spider, even .

So, if the church school doesn't make it's selection by church attendance, how exactly do you think the admissions policy should work?
(other than abolishing faith schools )

lol - see, i told you i was being unreasonable.

LMAO unquiet dad!!

Obmolov, that was disgusting what your priest said. My DP has blatantly said to my preist that he thinks he is spouting shit. Yet he still welcomes him into the church (when we can be arsed to go) and spends too much time trying to get him to marry me! I would be complaining but then, i bet you are quite relieved - (waits to be struck by lightening).

FWIW, i do beleive you don't have to go to church every week to be a catholic. I think the catholic church is waaaay behind the times. Maybe i should change faith, NO i was brought up a catholic, but like many wives, i quite fancy changing my husband!!

Genuine question then, to any practicing catholics, what do your children do while you are in church, how do you make it less tedious?

YABU. Catholocism is an organised religion. Part of the deal is that you play a part in that organisation (i.e. go to Church). The school is presumably funded by the church and so it is reasonable of them to expect that you are a 'member'.

For the above reasons I believe that faith schools should not be part of the state system (but that's another debate).

Spider - i doubt that catholic values are much different than that of a good decent person ( ideally) so what makes a catholic different - simply saying it?

gah, its not it's

if liturgy not on we take toys, books, crayons etc.

lucylellensmum, no argument that catholic church way, way, way, behind the times. What a pity this doesn't simply apply to boring Mass.

contraceptive/abortion advice in developing countries anyone? oops no, i believe that is a mortal sin.

I have toys and pens for the younger ones to play with and the older ones seem to like it on the whole. I also sit by the aisle so if they kick off I can make a sudden exit.

I find they tend to be more engaged if they can see and are near the front.

take crayons and a book

if your priest is a bore

try another church.

i used to give my kids 25p to spend in the shop after mass.

Custy I think it can be a sense of belonging. A cultural identification with others. Also the wish to crack on with the old sacraments and just an understanding of things like confession, whether they choose to do it or not.

Spero - don't get me started!!!

So, just out of interest WHY exactly do you want your daughter brought up in this kind of faith??

Oh I agree Spidermama it is perfectly possible to lead a christian values lifestyle but one does need a teeny bit of grounding in christian values to start with and this usually comes from being brought up in a christian family or having attended a christian school.

However the OP clearly wants her dd to learn about Jesus, christianity etc but can't actually be bothered to attend church as its all a lot of hassle at the moment so she very much needs her to attend the catholic school so that the religious education is taken care of without church attendance, minimising the disruption of "family time".

Catch 22 isn't it ?

Needs the schooling to make up for lack of effort on her own part but without effort to start with, possibly won't get a school place.

but this is the thing isnt it, if i go to church im going because i want DD to get in the school - THAT makes me a hypocrite!! BUT if they accept her into the liturgy thingy, i will go happily, everyone is happy

If your local Catholic school is so oversubscribed then the church is probably filled with young children and can accomodate as such. If their is no Childrens Liturgy then just bring along some colouring books and the time will soon pass. The fact she is 2 is no excuse to not bring her to mass. If you are so keen for her to learn about Jesus what better place than at church ?

As for you, if the priest isn't to your taste find another local church to go to. The sermon is only a part of the mass, the prayers, hymns and Eucharist are the same whatever church you attend.

45 minutes out of your week is not much of a sacrifice of family time IMHO

Spero that is a GOOD question. Partly it is to do with my father, he was very upset when i didnt send DD1 to catholic school (she has left school now - 18 yesterday!). He died when DD2 was eight weeks old and i feel that he would want this

you ahve no excuse not to go to church

your dh is not a catholic - you go to church alone and he stays at home with your daughter

stop moaning

If God is omnipresent, why do you need to go to a specific place to worship him?

Not really relevant to the school issue I know, but always wondered why church attendance is seen as so important. Surely the act of worship itself should be what is important, not where it takes place?

I don't want ever to berate a parent for wanting the best for their child and I think it is a disgusting shame that parents in England have to jump thru these hoops just to get their child in a school which is half way decent....

BUT is your dad being upset really a good enough reason to sign up a little girl for what is frankly a woman hating religion - but hey aren't they all??

Sorry. not being very helpful, if the gov was more concerned about ALL state schools being at least ok rather than this useless drivel about 'choice' ( i don't want choice I want the school within walking distance to be good enough) we wouldn't be having this debate at all.

cos they want your money , saintgeorge

it all comes down to money

St George- for Catholics, it isn't just about worship. It's about receiving the sacrament of the Eucharist (communion).

Ah of course, thank you TFM.

Spider - I personally think that 'a sense of belonging' and she sharing of a cultural identity are great things - but again, i personally don't believe that saying you are catholic is good enough. There needs to be a tangible commitment. IMVPO A religeon is organised. Faith is different - proclaim your faith in Jesus and God - sure fine no need to enter into anything more that afore mentioned proclaiming. But making the statement - i am catholic - assumes more responsabilitly