Have you used classic Mumsnet phrases in real life, and did they work?

[ForRealViper]

After years on MN I've read my fair share of stories and advice, and it's made me wonder:

Have you ever deployed a classic MumsNet conversational cue in real life? Have you ever asked someone if they "meant to sound so rude"? Have you ever deliberately attempted a "tinkly laugh"? Have you ever tried to deploy a "devastating comeback" that you remembered from a thread?

Did it work? What happened?

No. Because they are shit and really not the slam dunk so many people think they are.

Someone once asked me if I meant to be so rude. I said Yes.

🤣🤣🤣

When being verbally abused by a drunk ndn I told her to DFOD!!

Think I'd cringe myself inside out if I heard someone using a Mumsnet comeback in real life.

My favourite threads are where someone asks for a comeback for something, and posters immediately suggest a two minute long speech full of "witty remarks". Just tell them to piss off and get on with your day.

Other than “did you mean to be so rude” which I can imagine would be quite cutting in the right circumstances, all other mumsnet phrases are utter cringe…so no, I’ve never used classic Mumsnet phrases.

I do feel comfortable telling people no and not feeling I have to explain further, so I suppose I do believe in the ‘no is a complete sentence thing’. I’ve always been able to say no though so it’s not due to mumsnet.

I came on to say exactly that. I’m happy to just say “no” now, but I suspect that’s more about being old and not caring what people think!

I've used a version of the 'sorry that's not possible for me' when a friend had expectations about me visiting her elderly parents (and helping on a regular basis).

I've delivered a few comebacks that I'm quite proud of (including "can you remind me when I asked you, because I don't remember doing") but I didn't get any of them from Mumsnet! Most often I think of the comeback about 3 hours later 😂

I’m definitely a lot more direct especially at work due to Mumsnet giving me the confidence. Sometimes I say ‘no’ to invites or invites to accommodate favours for people without explaining it to them and think to myself ‘no is a complete sentence’. I don’t actually say it but the result is the same.

Yes, I think that’s the thing. Mn seems to have a disproportionate number of wet lettuces and people pleasers on it, who genuinely see being asked to do something they don’t want to do as a huge issue, or who seethe in silence under repeated mistreatment. Whereas most of us have no problem saying ‘No, I can’t babysit’ or ‘Do fuck off, Angela.’

I've used "that doesn't work for me" quite a lot, both out loud and in my head, when I was learning how to set boundaries with people who were used to me having been a doormat for years. The fact that it's a bit longer than "no" somehow stops you wanting to fill the dead air that follows with crap like, "but I suppose I could if you really want me to".

Only in so far as I’ve always been happy to say no without apologising.

I definitely don’t do the frankly mad thing of telling daft lies to avoid something - I just say I can’t do/attend that.

Can you imagine your friend having a good
moan about her husband and telling her to LTB

🤣

Never ever noticed and phrases especially for Mumsnet and their users.. what l read .. l have heard many times before or already use myself.

Years ago I replied to a very bossy and abrupt email from a colleague with "did you mean to be so rude?"
She responded with a massive rant about how busy she was, had no time for niceities and copied in my line manager.

I can imagine this actually, depending on if the moan was trivial stuff or more serious.

I think my arsehole would shrivel up and emigrate to the North Pole if I saw someone try to use a MN phrase IRL.

So, no, I haven't used a phrase as such.

But I do draw on the notion that "No is a full sentence". I mean I don't just say "No" to people and walk away. But I use the sentiment behind it that I don't need to justify, explain or apologise for me saying "No" to something.

I now say no, and then in my head say "...is a complete sentence" :-)

I think them quite a lot, especially ODFOD.
That doesn't work for me is one I need to use. I'm such a pushover sometimes.
Fuck off to the far side of fuck etc is used occasionally.
Not my circus not my monkey/s I use regularly.

Nope and I also would never say/write the four letter C word that is so popular on here 🤑

Not classic lines but I do use Stealth Boast and Weaponised Incompetence which I'm sure originated elsewhere but I heard first here

Eff off is a good all purpose phrase which works just as well. For use with really abusive people.

If someone really gets on my nerves I find the dismissive "teacher" voice and simply walking away to be just as effective.

"My decision is made and I dont propose to discuss it any further."

or

"Ill leave it with you then."

Which are very often not remotely funny!