AIBU to feel there is no karma after seeing abusive ex thriving?

[Toadsandwarts9]

AIBU?

A suggested friend popped up on my social media - I clicked it and realised her profile picture was at her own wedding married to a guy who I used to date. I did not date him for very long and I was traumatised by him. He was abusive towards me and sexually assaulted me - I ended up needing a TOP and I was quite literally left in the gutter by him. I managed to get myself sorted with therapy and counselling, the local NHS services helped me too and I decided not to persue further charges due to the ongoing impact it would have. I have never in my life been treated with such utter contempt by another human being.

I have no idea how she would come up as a ‘suggested friend’.

This opened a can of worms with me looking at both his public profile and hers, they have a BEAUTIFUL 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom house and a gorgeous little boy. His wife looks stunning and kind. I could not help to think where is the Karma in this? Where is the justice for how he treated me? His profile picture is the family on holiday looking glowing and tanned and him proudly holding up his child.

It just really gets me down that bad men in this world appear to still go on to have great lives no matter how awfully they have been to woman.

I have seen similar patterns with exes and friends of exes.

Anyway - it will take me a few days to process qnd obviously I will get over it. Social media allows us access to peoples lives where the door should firmly be shut and I still have no idea why she would come up suggested but AIBU to feel there really is no such thing as Karma?

THIS. We were talking at work the other day about an ex colleague wondering how she was as we all liked her so I looked her up on Facebook- turns out she had moves miles away. Then the next day she came up as a friend suggestion

I have no idea how she would even know my name - I would have doubted very much he even remembers or thinks of me in all
honesty. He seemed to dislike me very much.

OP i had an abusive BF who got married and had those lovely family photos with beautiful babies on Facebook twice. He got divorced both times . I remember seeing travel photos of him with his first wife and his wife had a smile that was not genuine. I thought she looks sad inside. I felt sorry for her. Dear knows how bad he was to each women. My ex didn’t get a happy ending and i doubt yours will.

Karma will always get people in the end, just not always as you expect, or as quickly as you'd like.

And always remember that good stuff happens to good people (so assuming you're a good person OP, fate will work its magic)!!

There is absolutely no karma in this world, you are right @Toadsandwarts9

Tosh. Utter head in the sand tosh.

If only it was true, but its not.

My best friend was in a very similar situation with a real nasty, abusive fucker who it turned out, had tens of thousands of pounds worth of debt owed to HMRC. But educated, charming, charismatic and successful to the outside world. She had a similar experience to you of seeing him on social media in a gorgeous house with a gorgeous wife and a sweet little boy. Fast forward almost a decade and this woman has reached out to her - he was still completely the nasty, abusive shit he had always been, with even bigger debts. My friend is now part of a small cabal of his exes who are horizon scanning social media, hell bent on making sure that no other woman goes unwarned about his true nature. It is no accident that my friend and the other exes are beautiful, successful women from wealthy families- he targets a type. Apparently, not far off his 60th birthday, he is still at his old tricks.

I am sure that your ex is not dissimilar in the way he operates to my friend’s ex, some men are just sinister bastards and get away with it unfortunately. There is no such thing as karma I’m afraid , just twatty people doing twatty things. Sometimes they get away with it, sometimes they don’t. “The universe” couldn’t care less, but let’s hope that at some point there is some earthly justice in store for these types.

'Karma' is wishful thinking sorry to say.
Live your own best life, that's all you can do.

My view of social media is that those who are truly happy and living fulfilled lives don't need to post pictures of themselves for public consumption because they are too busy just living and getting on with their lives.

Hmm I truly don't know about this.

It takes less than the time it probably took you to type your post, than it does to pop a few photos on SM?

Some people use their SM accounts as photo diaries, some use them to keep in contact with friends/family and some use them for completely different reasons.

OP, I don't know why we've been sold this idea of 'karma'. I've never believed in it any more than I believe in Father Christmas. I've never seen any evidence of its existence.

It really doesn't. Confirmation bias, look it up. Although I sympathise with your need to believe it and am sorry that happened to you.

There is no such thing as karma, and everyone would be better off living their own best lives rather than having hope that one day karma will come and kick their arse. It's pointless.

Exactly.

There are plenty of things that happen to good people that they'll never recover from, so it stands to reason they'll also happen to bad people.

This is not only palpable nonsense but quite sinister if you look at the implications.
So children who die painfully of cancer aren't by your definition good people?
Nasty.

Which probably would have happened anyway.

Of course

There is no such thing as karma.

If bad things only happened to bad people then why do innocent children and babies suffer terrible illnesses / die?

As far as I know I've never treated anybody badly in my life yet I've had terrible things happen to me. Why?

Good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people and that's just life.

Im a great believer in karma. I had someone put a voodoo curse on my horrible neighbours.

He died of a heart attack (had a history of them)

She developed dementia and has gone to live with her relatives.

Their house has now stood empty for 3 years.

That's not how the algorithm works. It works on mutual connections, location, contact details you've uploaded (knowingly or unknowingly) and such like. It seems to suggest people you've searched, but not the other way around (it won't suggest people who've searched you).

I dunno, because my ex-husbands then girlfriend came up as a suggested friend to me and we had no mutual connections etc

I'm a believer that any bad energy you put out into the cosmos always rebounds back to you, if not straight away, it always will at some point.

I don't pop a few photos on SM
Genuine question: why on earth should I?
It smacks of a continual need for validation from other people.

Similarly why does anyone need have a photo diary on Social media unless they need to present a public persona of themselves?

Or why if you are using Social media to keep in contact with with friends/ family
would you be boasting about your five bedroom/ 4 bathroom house unless you and your friends and family have serious obsessions with materialism and try to outdo each other with the extent if your possessions?

You obviously have a different view of Social Media but I prefer real life.

It really is.

No there really is no such thing as Karma. Good and bad things happen to people, that’s just life, sadly. More often than not, down to human actions, whether our own or other people’s.

My DD1 (16) has probable FASD because her birth mum drank alcohol during her pregnancy. That certainly isn’t Karma.

The algorithm doesn't use your profile views. Data matching is in the algorithm, which is why it might throw up someone you've searched.

Genuinely, how did you manage to turn my reply into being about you?

I didn't say you popped anything on SM 😳

In short, I said people use it for many different reasons and one of those involves keeping an online photo diary.

It's never been my cup of tea but we're all different.

My point is, it's not necessarily a sign of them not being busy enjoying their lives.