To decline 24 month health check with HV?

[netballlls]

I had a really bad experience with my first HV when DC was born.

I would ask for advice and she would tell me to read the Red Book.
She was quite pushy and told us that it was the law to have a HV.
She insisted on looking in our bedroom and all around the house.

I had a very traumatic birth, required a transfusion etc and after a week long stay in hospital.

I didn't really feel like breastfeeding as I was ill and severely tired on antibiotics and she was basically telling me what to do which I didn't appreciate.

Ignored his severe acid reflux and at my persistence was diagnosed with CMPA with the GP.

She was useless.

I complained to her manager annd Opted Out and after the 2nd visit and never heard from her again.

I was bothered again when DC was 10 months old about the 12 month check and again was advised it was "mandatory".
This particular HV was quite intimidating on the phone and again a swift email to her manager stopped her contacting me.

We moved house last year and again I Opted Out but received 2/3 calls from the HV.
Wanted to come to the house.
Asked a lot of intrusive questions, again after I advised her I was Opting Out.

I haven't heard anything of her since last January and I don't want to have any more contact with them as I don't find them supportive but rather intimidating, pushy and nosey.
Any contact makes me quite anxious with them and brings back bad memories from the first one.

Would it flag up if i declined?
I am thinking of taking DC to the GP to see if they would be able to do the check.

AIBU?

So she should go to make sure they don’t think her home is dysfunctional or dangerous?

Or are you suggesting she goes so that she herself can find out if the home or family she’s raising her child in is dysfunctional or dangerous?

You’ve justified the HV service existing, but definitely not her going to it.

100 % this
My sister had a right patronising cow of an HV with her 2nd
1st child was in and out if hospital as very unwell (diagnosed whilst sister was pregnant)
Hv breezes in and starts interrogating my sister as to why she isn't EBF ing
Keeps banging on
Sister explains that she has a lot of her plate (and yes husband does his bit)
HV condescendingly says..
Oh well you will just have to be busy and breast feed then...
It's just a tick box so trust can get points for promoting BF ing ...
Judgemental cow

If you feel that you have no concerns I would just decline tbh.

I've had crap ones consistently with all 3 kids. My first I ended up throwing out because she kept harassing me for constant visits under the guise of mental health - her bloody constant weight checks (unneeded) and pushing for more visits were one of the main causes for its decline. I already had another health team involved as my first had a cleft palate so it's not like I was flying under the radar.

My second had his 2 year check last year and I predicted they were going to say he was behind on speech because he didn't know half the words on their tick box sheet. The fact he knew a whole host of words that were not on the sheet was irrelevant apparently. She also looked fresh out of university so I'd love to know what child rearing experience she had.

And with my third I had her 8 week check the day after seeing the GP for her checkup there. The HV decided she knew better than the GP (who I had actually seen previously and had admitted baby to hospital for an Infection at 2 weeks old so was familiar with history) on weight and that she was concerned and I needed to start going to weekly weigh in clinics. Needless to say I did not go and DD is doing just fine with her growth and milestones. I'm going to be declining any further appointments as unless there are any issues it's a waste of time.

Note - these have all been seperate women. With the exception of the HV with my first I have never had appointments with the same person twice.

To those who have declined the 2 year check what did you say?

Despite me previously Opting Out I was still harassed endlessly for months via telephone.

I didn't have their email address last time but I do now do maybe I will express my concerns via email about the experiences I have previously received hence my reluctance utilise their services.

An issue was picked up and referred on at our 24 month check that I probably wouldn't have got checked out myself for fear of wasting time. I had wondered if it was normal, but the HV took it seriously.

I don't know if it's because I'm in a city but I had different HV for both DC, different staff to baby clinics and post birth midwives and different for the 2 year check. Barely saw the same person twice!

So for that reason I'd go.

I declined HV input to my twins when they were harassing me to book twins in for 3 month checks when they were chronologically 3 months old but, given their prematurity and corrected dates, were only 7 weeks an the HV would not accept that allowances had to be made for prematurity and twins should have been assessed based on their EDD not their actual DOB. Then, when she assessed them she decided they were way behind their expected milestones - based on age not EDD!!

I got sent their 2 year review paperwork but simply told the HV team that I didn’t want their support; that I had not interacted with their team since the twins were 3 months old due to their intrusive interaction with us and so had no need of their
input. I’ve heard nothing from them since then and twins are now 6 1/2 years old!