To tell PIL NO SWEETS

[arainytrip]

I know … they are grandparents so it’s supposed to be their forte but surely it isn’t unreasonable to ask that the children (5 and 2) don’t have sweets like Haribo, Skittles etc? This weekend they came with those popper style things where you load it with sweets and fire them into your mouth (not sure what they are called sorry) which feels like a choke hazard for the two year old. But MIL just hands them straight to the children. My two year old has a very poor appetite as it is so just a few sweets and she won’t eat dinner.

I realise as they get older you can’t police everything but surely a few chocolates or raisins would be better?

Yabu, it doesn't hurt for them to have occasional sweets

Even if she chokes?

OP, unclench a bit

Yhere is no way mine would have been allowed those at that age. Chocolate buttons yes, haribo etc no.

Could you say that the kids love the little treats but ask that they alternate sweets with bubbles or stickers for their teeth? You could always pretend the dentist has said they both need to cut down 😬

You could also keep some buttons or treats more suited to the youngest and quietly trade them to avoid any choking hazard x

For the sake of their teeth. Obviously not tooth stickers 🥴

I think it will work best if you put the fewest limitations on grandparents.

So - choking hazard - worth a fight (Lollipops particularly)

Non choking sweets - not so much.

I wouldn't want my kids eating those really shite sweets either . Can you buy some that you approve of and ask them to only buy those and limit. I would have suggested Cadbury's buttons but dunno if they are better quality

I don’t mind things like buttons and Freddos and the like, it’s just the sweets. I really don’t like them. I’ve tried not to say anything but this weekend in they come with huge bags of sweets and it is a bit annoying when you know that’s one healthy meal the two year old won’t be eating.

Choking hazard stuff, yes say no. But sweets in general just let it go. Seriously.

You have to be forceful. Our children never had sweets. The odd bit of chocolate, yes. Sweets, not once. Thankfully, the grandparents had no issue with this.

I wouldn’t let my 5 year olds have those whether - particularly the skittles and not regularly

my ex has a habit of by crap cheap sweets and it drives me nuts

Yeah I agree with you. It sets a bad example for them if you generally don’t give out stuff like that.
I would ask your partner to let his parents know that the children shouldn’t be given any sweets while they’re with them. Birthday cake, ice creams, fresh fruit… ok.. but there’s literally no good reason to be giving out haribo and whatnot to two year olds.

YABU- diet wise if it's just an occasional treat and no adverse health reactions

YANBU- if the sweets are a choking hazard.People are too blase about that- lollipops and small round hard or sticky sweets can be a real danger for under 5s.

Ultimately though, it's your kids your rules, and the grandparents do need to respect that.

I’d pick the hill to die on, and this isn’t it.

Stick to your guns OP! There's absolutely no need for sweets for small children. There are lots of lovely foods they can enjoy.

Tiny chocolate bars are ok

Not Haribo though, they are just awful.

Agreed

You have a point on the pop ones to be fair. My 8 year old nephew almost chocked on those as you have to bite and suck the plastic. Silly design really.

the others I would just chill a bit.

So is this message OK:

’Hi Mil, it was lovely seeing you both Sunday. Ds and dd really enjoyed the treats and I really appreciate the thought. I wondered if in future you’d mind just sticking to chocolate rather than sweets, especially the ones like the Moana and SpongeBob ones they had? I know you probably just thought they’d like the characters (they did!) but I was a bit nervous of DD especially choking and the chocolates are probably a safer bet in this respect,’

Absolutely they should respect your wishes. I have young nieces and nephews (much younger than my own children) and I fully respect that their parents don’t want them to have chocolate etc yet. Even if they were happy, I would choose not to give them haribo/skittles etc due to choking

Well then tell them they can have their sweets after dinner.

This is something parents have done since forever 😳

I really think a conversation is better than a written message.

Getting something in writing automatically comes across as heavy handed to me.

Yeah this. Mine are 4 & 2 and sweet treats are put straight in the cupboard with the promise of one after dinner.