To leave him alone (for a couple of hours) 12 hours after general anaesthetic

[awsedrftghyh]

My (fit, healthy, 71 YO) father had a biopsy at 2pm today under general anaesthetic. It's a minor op obviously but the location (inside throat) means it will be done under general anaesthetic.
He has had the op and is now in recovery, I'm picking him up at 6pm.

The hospital told him the usual advice is not to be left alone for 24 hours after general anaesthetic.

I had something planned that means being out from 6-8am tomorrow morning. I really want to go but easily could and am more than willing to cancel.

He thinks I should still go because he will be asleep at that time anyway, and I obviously wouldn't be watching him sleep but would likely be downstairs, or asleep myself if I don't go out. He thinks it won't matter if I 'pop out'. I'm a bit more cautious.

What would you do?

YABU - don't go, too risky
YANBU - go, the risk is very negligible

If you're asleep next to them, they can wake you up...

It absolutely is sad. Just because your "medical spouse" would bugger off and not follow the guidance, doesn't mean it's acceptable.

My dad was a doctor and he would absolutely never have left either me or my mum alone after GA.

Exactly. Some people really have their bar on the floor.

Who do you think write the guidelines? Experienced clinical professionals. Any ‘medic would laugh at that’ - clinicians see patients, medics less so. I have a very good friend who is at the top of his game in neurology and a surgeon. His view is that no one gets hurt by the guidance but some of those who don’t follow it do.

Not in the slightest! I'm sure he would if I asked him to (or eg if I got an unexpected bad result) but my way of dealing with chronic illness (I'm also a dr) is to try and minimise the effect it has on me and my family, and there is no need to have him sitting around looking at me if I'm feeling fine. Medics generally aren't very good at taking sick leave or at being ill (that may not be the healthiest viewpoint, admittedly) and I personally hate having eg visitors in hospital or people making a fuss.

See how he goes. I had GA recently for ablation, and I had all the dire warnings about not being alone for 24 hours, but honestly I wokeup and didn't feel groggy at all - I felt absolutely fine (I've felt worse after dental work and certainly worse after a spinal block for my c-sections, and they sent me home in less than 24 hours carrying a newborn baby after those!)

I'm sorry you feel the need to do that, but the fact that your husband can't even be bothered to arrange for someone to care for you after a GA really is awful.

They wouldn't need to make a fuss, just be there in case.

This will sound really patronising, but I hope you realise one day that you don't need to constantly minimise your health issues to appease others.

Just don't do it. It will likely be fine but if anything did happen it's not worth the guilt and distress you will feel.

I would cancel, I’ve had a couple of GA operations in the last 12 months and while I was fine and dandy for most, the last one I took a really really funny turn the next day and came out of nowhere, I was very grateful that dh was there as I don’t know what I’d have done alone.

This isn’t about a chronic illness and all about an unexpected event.

Hope you’re on the mend. My dad had GA for ablation just before Christmas two years ago. Fine for the first 18 hours or so and then dizziness and fever. He was fine and we coped at home. But he still talks about it now, it was really scary.

Exactly. I can't imagine my DH ever pissing off to work after I had GA and just leaving to deal with any consequences on my own.

If she does she should buy him a pish pot. Or a portable urinal I think is the polite term.

That way he won't need to get up to pee if he feels woozy.

But I'm sure he'll be fine. It's not like OP is an RMN or ICU nurse who'd be monitoring his breathing by starting at him all night as he sleeps.

She may not be a professional but she'd be able to ring someone if he had a funny turn, or fell and smacked his head, like a PP upthread did 18+ hours after their GA.

Why do you think that ‘monitoring’ means hovering over someone? It just means someone is in the house in the event that you have a bad reaction. Leave them alone to do their Puzzler or whatever, but you are there if they have a bad turn. And on the spot, not halfway down the road doing yoga in your LuLuLemons.

I don't know if I missed it, but what do you actually want to do tomorrow? How important is it?
I would not leave him asleep. I just would not be happy in case he woke up feeling groggy, got up and fell.

I absolutely don't minimise my issues to appease others!! I minimise my issues because I want to have as normal a life as possible for as long as possible and that's the way I cope. I've been having regular GAs and sedated procedures for almost 30 years and to me it's about as exciting and stressful as going for a dental check up. My husband is absolutely around and looking after me very well the evening/night afterwards, but I personally have never felt the need for someone to be directly around the next day.

He'd be asleep though? And what's the brand of clothing OP could be wearing got to do with it?

I just think if he had seemed fine up until bedtime, I wouldn't be checking him before 8am anyway even if I was in the building. Wearing shein leggings.

Are you being serious now? You don’t think that people can wake up because of a medical event or wake up due to a medical event? He’s not guaranteed to be healthy and comatose for those two hours.

If he seems fine within a few hours he’ll be fine. They always seem very over cautious. Most people are up and about within an hour or so

What kind of appointments are at 6am ?

PoV from an anaesthetist who's dad had regular throat procedures and who had a post-op catastrophe, and who's just spent the day anaesthetising for ENT....I would not be leaving him.

Hope your dad is on the mend.

Hmm ... personally I would err on the safe side. I would be less worried about GA but throats and mouths are notorious bleeders. I would rather be with him if it were me.

Also throat swelling can have serious repercussions.