To leave him alone (for a couple of hours) 12 hours after general anaesthetic

[awsedrftghyh]

My (fit, healthy, 71 YO) father had a biopsy at 2pm today under general anaesthetic. It's a minor op obviously but the location (inside throat) means it will be done under general anaesthetic.
He has had the op and is now in recovery, I'm picking him up at 6pm.

The hospital told him the usual advice is not to be left alone for 24 hours after general anaesthetic.

I had something planned that means being out from 6-8am tomorrow morning. I really want to go but easily could and am more than willing to cancel.

He thinks I should still go because he will be asleep at that time anyway, and I obviously wouldn't be watching him sleep but would likely be downstairs, or asleep myself if I don't go out. He thinks it won't matter if I 'pop out'. I'm a bit more cautious.

What would you do?

YABU - don't go, too risky
YANBU - go, the risk is very negligible

I wouldn't risk it. 99% of the time it will be fine but I couldn't have it on my conscious if something happened, especislly when ignoring medical advice.

I've had GA multiples times but reacted very differently twice where I was very glad I had someone with me.

I’d make sure he’s had a wee/drink/food post op today, then check he’s OK before you leave in the morning.

This is a good point. I was thinking I could reschedule for later in the day but I thought leaving him when he's asleep and I wouldn't be necessarily paying him attention would be safer, but now you've said this I'm reconsidering and think you're right.

I am hearing everyone and considering your views, but I don't want to patronise him by acting like he's incapacitated when he's not.

It's worth mentioning that we both until recently put basically everything we wanted to do on hold for six straight years to care for my mother/his wife (who recently died) so I'm not a selfish person by nature, just trying to be balanced.
The thing I want to do is also very important for my health, which is improving after a serious medical emergency a few months ago.

Following guidance isn’t acting like he is incapacitated. You’re not mopping his brow and taking his temperature every two minutes. It’s a safety measure.

Not sure what the drip feed is all about, but if you can move it to later in the day to take him past the 24 hour point and you really need to do it then do that?

Mixed for me really but I'd say you can't really decide until the morning when you see for yourself how he is doing. the 24hr guide is mainly due to the anaesthetic. Some people shake off anaesthetic really well, others are groggy and unstable for a while. I would've thought if your dad seems ok and steady that a couple hours be ok but any doubts watching him move about then no.

Some people shake it off and then get groggy later. Or worse. Being bright as a button immediately after GA does not guarantee you’ll be 100% for the hours that follow, as any google search will tell you. They don’t make up the guidance for fun.

For those who say stay for 24 hours, what is the protocol for during the night, when both patient and carer are asleep? My DH wouldn’t wake up even if the roof caved in during the night, so if he were looking after me and I had a problem in the night while he slept I’d be buggered.

Find someone who would be alert if you needed support. I mean my dad sleeps through hurricanes - literally - but can be shaken awake in the event of an emergency. Hand-held klaxons work.

I can't move it to past the 24 hour point, it would be 9-11am instead or 6-8am but he would be awake and getting on with his day rather than asleep in bed by then. Not sure which is safer.

Would missing one session be massively detrimental to your recovery? Could it not be rebooked fairly swiftly? Neither is safer - he needs someone to be alert to potential repercussions of the GA in the 24 hours that follow, and honestly, a bit beyond that. My ex passed out 36 hours after GA. I think you either commit to care for someone for the minimum of 24 hours or you don’t and find someone else. Even a paid carer. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to my dad when I was supposed to be there.

If you move it to later can a neighbour or other friend drop in for a cuppa instead?

Neither is safer. You need to rearrange.

I'm not really sure why you posted as you seem to be determined to leave him regardless of the dangers.

I would wake him up at 5am and take him to the toilet/make sure he’s ok.

Then I’d put him back in bed with the phone, some water and a newspaper and then go.

It would have been 15 hours and through the worst.
As long as he’s feeling ok and stays in bed then he should be fine.

I was alone for the 24hours and I was fine but I am young and generally healthy.

'I am hearing everyone and considering your views, but I don't want to patronise him by acting like he's incapacitated when he's not'

If he was incapacitated he wouldn't have been discharged.

People need someone with them in case of problems, not because there is a problem. The hospital have told you this. I'd go with their advice.

Don't patronise his, just act responsibly and tactfully and say your activity has been postponed.

No. When he gets up he'll probably be sleepier than usual and slightly underfed as a result of going without the day before. A perfect storm for a stumble or faint.

I love the gym but would not prioritise that over keeping an eye on someone.

Literally what happened to my ex. Had major oral surgery, so barely ate the day before. And overestimated his ability the next day. Fainted - luckily as he was getting out of bed. Managed to rouse him and follow the instructions I had been given. Would have been awful if I hadn’t been there, who knows what would have happened as he was bleeding heavily from his mouth and swallowing blood too. Lots of vomit ensued. Wouldn’t have made it to the bathroom.

Have you had GA? I had one last in Nov and was collected about 3 pm I slept on and off until about 2 the next day I was on my own until about 4pm x was fine just sleepy - if you can't move apt and need to leave your Dad can you ask someone eise to sit with him to stop you worrying

Eh? So if someone has a general anaesthetic they are supposed to have someone sitting up all night keeping watch over them?

I've had lots and lots of general anaesthetics / sedations over the years and my husband has never taken the next day off work to look after me- so he's off to work about 7.30 or 8am, usually after an afternoon GA the day before. I do have other family I could call locally if I felt unwell but the last thing I'd want is someone sitting there looking at me to check I was OK! Incidentally he's a consultant anaesthetist....

I wouldn’t dream of leaving anyone who has had a general anaesthetic within the 24 hour period. I’ve had several general anaesthetics in recent years and I was only allowed home on the condition that I wasn’t left alone for a full 24 hours. I don’t think it’s much to ask.

It doesn't matter how young and healthy you are - anyone of any age can have a reaction to the GA.

And the fact that he'll have (hopefully) been okay 15 hours doesn't mean he'll be through the worst either!

That's pretty sad.

Isn’t it? Also he’s not following the guidance of his own employers. Presuming he’s NHS. I guess not all members of the caring profession are all that caring. Plus no one has ever said you have to sit eyeball to eyeball with someone. It’s being around in the event of an emergency…

So what happens during the night?

Are you not allowed to sleep and just watch them non stop?

It's not sad at all. It's common sense from an experienced professional. Any medic would just laugh at the idea of any otherwise-healthy person bring monitored for an entire 24 hours after a GA. My medical spouse would go out too - quite rightly, as I would prefer to be left in peace.