As usual, this post is going to be a novel.
So, I moved into my current house 6 years ago. Its detached, but with gardens connected by the fence (relevant later on). There's around 8 houses in a row, we live on a quiet street, and i absolutely adore living here. The neighbours in all of these 8 houses are absolutely wonderful, lovely people. I moved into such a rich community vibe, neighbours knocked on my door to welcome me (never had that before anywhere and it was so pleasant and nice to have), and everybody gets along really well.
Last year, my next door neighbours decided to sell up. After the initial sale last April, the new homeowners came round every so often to do bits they needed to do with the house and whatever. Its a man ('Andy'), a woman ('Emily'), and their 2 DC (Roughly 4 and 1, I would guess). I shit you not, every single time I have seen this woman she has a face like absolute thunder. Its honestly scary. The first time I seen her I thought maybe she's just stressed with the kids and house move, totally understandable.
The more they visited the house, each time was the same. Obvious look of visible anger on her face, but only when with her family. When she spoke to my old neighbours, she would just give a flat fake smile and say thanks for whatever. Always kept very brief.
They moved in around 3 months ago now. During this time I have seen this woman having screaming, horrible go's at her husband on numerous occasions. He always just puts his head down and seems to mumble and walk off. She shouts at her children to no end, particularly the eldest. He is quite erratic and loud, but as are all kids his age. Everytime, she just jumps straight to shouting and screaming at him, no attempt to calmly reason with him first, etc. Just off the bat she loses it. If she's not shouting at them, it just feels she's hypervigilant to her children not embarrassing her in public. They were crossing the road to come home last week and he was swinging her hand holding it. Her annoyed expression turned quickly into a mean glare at him, then back to the annoyed face.
Its the way she treats her DH that bothers me and makes me feel suspicious that she is actually abusing him. Every time I have seen them, he always has the baby. There was an incident a few weeks ago, im not sure what happened but they were going somewhere in the car and Andy was holding the baby and helping the eldest DC into the car aswell. He was struggling to move the seat belts in baby's car seat and Emily genuinely just lunged from behind him and shouted "just give her here!" And snatched baby from him. The baby started crying and she screamed at Andy "now look what you've done!". He seemed really down after this and I think he was apologising to her and got in the car.
Then last week, he was putting a plastic bottle in the black bin and she ran outside screaming at him "NOOO" shouting that its recyclables and it can't go in there. I was in my living room at the time and her shouting was so loud that I jumped and rushed to look outside thinking something really bad had happened. Its getting to be such a headache. I've noticed Andy spends most of his time outside when Emily's home, as well. Even if it's raining, he's out in the garden just finding things to do. Sometimes he just sits in the car.
I want to add that I had not met them yet at this point, and didn't want to knock on and welcome them because I was honestly scared to have my head bitten clean off for daring to knock on her door. I asked the neighbours on their other side if they had met them yet or been round, as I hadn't. They said they went over a week after they first moved in to welcome them to the neighbourhood, here if they needed anything etc (as they did with me and everyone else). They said it was Emily who answered, and she was very off in a strange way, giving one-word answers, didn't introduce herself, quick to get going, etc. I asked if they had heard her shouting a lot lately, and they were relieved to tell me they had but didn't want to say anything. They have also heard her shouting at her husband in particular quite often.
Then comes last week. On Monday, when taking DC to nursery, I seen Andy getting ready to take his son to school. I used this opportunity to try and talk to him and introduce myself finally. I gave him a big smile and said good morning, and smiled and said hello to his son, with my kids saying hi to them as well. He didn't say a word. He looked at me so sheepish and brief, smiled, and put his head down to look at the floor. He just stood there while we walked past. It was at this point i started to actually wonder if she has told him he isn't allowed to speak to me / other neighbours. He may not have just wanted to know, but his whole aura was just very off and strange.
Then came today. I was going to the shops with my youngest. I was walking past their driveway as she was about turn in in her car, so I mouthed 'sorry!' To her, gave her a smile and quick wave as a thanks gesture, and quickly scuttled past so she could see i was making every effort not to be a pest. This woman rolled her eyes at me and then frustratingly raised her eyebrows in response. I was mildly horrified by this to be honest. I thought she would of at least just done the customary smile and wave back, but that's when I realised she truly is just awful.
now, I don't want to judge, as nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. I initially wanted to believe that she was probably doing everything house and childcare wise, and was really stressed and burnt out etc. But neither of them seem to work, or at least not much (maybe wfh). They both seem to be home most of the day every day. Andy does the school drop off and pick up. He frequently takes their DC out and about with just him. She goes out by herself a lot, but not much with them. With everything else I've seen, I just cant help but feel she's just an outright vile person? I know i could have this so wrong but I just have this feeling inside like something isn't right. My gut instinct is telling me she is abusing him (and her kids to an extent), but that could just be me being hypervigilant of these things because of being in an abusive relationship previously.
Im obviously not going to meddle in their business, but i can't help but feel devastated that im going to have to live next to these people for however many years longer. We had such a lovely community here and it feels so dimmed now. One of my neighbours holds a barbecue every summer and we all take food/drinks and go over, it's the highlight of my year (I don't have many friends), and really don't want to feel like we would be excluding them by not inviting them as that would be really nasty, yet feel if they did come it would be awkward and they/she would likely ruin it, even if just by being miserable.
Im also concerned about playing with my kids in the back garden in summer. Our back fences are joined and very low, and i can already foresee the awkwardness. Even if not that, the noise alone would be enough to put me off going out. I already feel myself dreading taking my dog out in the garden to do his business. When their windows are open the shouting is so damn loud.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my novel. This is really bothering me though and I dont know what to do other than move house.
AIBU to dislike neighbour/s, and have concerns?