Did all parents hit their kids in the 1970s?

[Polythene]

I often hear that this was the norm. But was it, really?

Respect or fear?

Well, respect of course.

We have a saying here which translates as "discipline the child, or become its slave."

However we are a very traditional, old fashioned community. I know these ideas are not fashionable.

Do you not respect anyone - anyone in the whole world - who has never hit you?

On the whole hitting someone smaller than yourself is a way to lose my respect, not to earn it.

Great way to earn utter contempt, though.

What an odd question.

The point is to instill respect as a concept. Respect for one's elders and betters. Respect for order and tradition.

You disagree, clearly. But answer me this: disorder in the streets. Litter. Terrorism. Rape gangs. Millions of young people too bewildered to work. Record numbers on benefits.

How is it going in your liberal world?

There must be better ways to "instill respect as a concept" than hitting children surely?

Hitting children doesn't make them respect you, it makes them fear you. Then as they get older, they resent you. If they love you at all after your lack of self-control, it's because they are better people than you are. We are no longer in the Stone Age.

Yes I guess some schools did not in the same way some parents did not, but I believe the majority of senior schools particularly slippered, caned and slapped children. We had an English teacher who used to throw board rubbers.

Can I ask where you live?

Yes, I was smacked by my mum but never my dad. This was in the early 1970's.
I was taught by Nuns. Catholic school. Was hit on the palm of the hand with a ruler in secondary school for talking.

Are a lot of Gen Xers in therapy?

I was smacked every day

I was at school in the 60s and 70s, leaving secondary in ‘77
My parents (and grandmother,who lived with us) didn’t hit us.Or smack us.
We didn’t have corporal punishment at either of the schools I went to,and I’ve said before that my Mum,who was a teacher,was told by a parent that she had his permission to discipline his son physically - she said that if she couldn’t keep order without hitting children she would retire.

So no, not everyone was hitting their kids.

Yes. Daily. For every little thing. 🤬

Me too.

My parents were wonderful and extremely loving. They never laid a finger on any of us. They wouldn't have dreamt of it. Don't be ridiculous of course not all parents in the 70s hurt their children. Those that did were obviously cruel bullies.

Shocking now when you think about it

I was smacked on occasion as a child, as were my parents before me - it was the norm and not considered out of order. My parents were loving and kind - i never felt abused but knew that if i was exceptionally naughty, I'd probably get smacked legs. It was never excessive force or done with aggression - it was, I suppose, a deterrent to hopefully discourage me from doing whatever was naughty again. Completely within the norm for the time and I don't look back and feel any anger towards my parents for parenting how probably the majority were in the 70s

By loving them and realising they are still learning. Hitting them is you teaching them that violence is the way to get “respect”.

I always say, a child abused (and it was abuse, whatever my mum thought) now, like I was as a child, would have social services involved.

I grew up in India, kids are disciplined there and in most of Asia. East Asia as well.

Apparently here just saying you're disappointed and putting them on the naughty step works.

No. DH was hit by his DM with whatever was close at hand, slippers, belts, spoons. He tried to explain to me that it was a good thing as he ‘learned to behave’ but he couldn’t explain why it then didn’t work on his DB at all. I think DH was just well behaved.

My father never laid a finger on either me or my dsis. My mum used to smack us occasionally when she lost her temper, BUT only lightly and she would always be mortified afterwards and apologise. I now realise that she almost certainly had undiagnosed adhd and struggled with impulse control.

I was never in any doubt as a child that parents hitting children was fundamentally wrong - my parents both made very certain that we understood that.

I do remember children getting smacked occasionally in the early years of primary school, too, but not beyond that.

I didn't even use the naughty step.

Kids in the 70s generally weren't stabbing each other or getting involved in county lines drugs gangs.

I was belted. And sent to choose which belt each time. Then panic would set in - how to choose which belt would hurt the least. I’m sure it didnt make a difference which one I picked 😔