To not make DD6 (Year 1) do homework?

[Thesnailonthewhale]

She was 6 in December, an she's above age related expectations in all areas. Reading age of 8y6m.doing Year 2 maths etc

School are getting a bit uppity about her not completing the set homework each week. (Spellings, some maths sheets etc)

She reads every day without being prompted and is incredibly inquisitive etc helps around the house, plays creatively, is active.
She counts coins at shops, does puzzle books, can tell the time to quarters and halfs and (still working on 5 mins) - weighs and measures ingredients for cooking and baking etc. (all applied maths)

Should I make her do the extra stuff? I can't see the point personally.

My daughter was like this in year 1. I never forced it. Did it when she would. She’s now year 5, gets set it in a Friday to be handed in by the following Thursday, she willing does it the evening it’s set and hands it in early every week without fail.

Personally I wouldn’t force it at such a young age.

Any school, or staff member, that punishes 6 year olds for not completing their homework should be ashamed of themselves.

Especially as a lot of the tasks set for that age group require parental involvement.

If they're punishing a child because they don't complete a pointless homework task. Then they're punishing the childen:

Who have working parents, so they have to attend childcare after school.

Who don't have the resources at home to complete the tasks set.

Who move between 2 homes and might leave homework sheets behind.

Would you honestly support a staff member punishing a child in these situations?

I know in year 4 my DC's school did. Not allowed at playtime and had to stay inside in detention.

I remember my DS having homework marked in year 3 (especially since the teacher recognised my child's brilliance and gave them extra homework)

No

Doing boring stuff we think is beneath us is, let's face it, the story of most of our lives. She might as well get used to it early.

⭐ Gold star for you then

Yeah probably. Also as a teacher you cannot punish the parents but you can shame them and make them feel bad for not taking time to be involved.

I'd happily have a system where the children's who haven't done the hw are kept in for a bit to do the homework task.

YANBU. Just tell school that your little darling is different and special and doesn’t need to do the things expected of the other children.

Well said

I don’t bring my work home with me, I don’t want to teach my children that it’s normal to not have a true balance on their life

Agreed

This blind obedience at home - where teachers have no say, place or idea or what is going on - because another person demands it isn’t quite the life lesson people think it is.

Shaming parents and keeping kids in a classroom - that’s just weird. And indicative of abject misery TBH. Why would you assume all parents have the time and capacity?

No wonder teachers are unpopular if this is the attitude they take. I never understand why those who hate kids and parents go into teaching

Or maybe some parents want their children to have the happiest home life possible that consists of things other than schoolwork, such as fun and family time. That they prioritise their child’s feelings over their worry of what the school will think?

It's certainly not the only way to show an interest in them, but school is a big part of their life and ignoring it shows your lack of interest. It's also telling that school doesn't matter to you.

At primary school level, parental involvement is the number 1 key to success.

I’d have thought showing up to school for the 7 hours a day was key to educational success.
In this house, we spend time together as a family and value that within our home. Work and school work is left in the office and in the classroom.
If in your book that demonstrates a total lack of interest in school, then I’m sure I’ll get over it.

Choosing not to do optional homework is also not “Not taking an interest in school”

It sounds like her daughter would be able to complete the homework sheet in no time at all, so it wouldn’t really take away from family time.

And it’s not just “worrying what the school will think”. She’s (consciously or not) enforcing an idea that what the school say doesn’t matter.

I feel like I've entered a parallel universe here, I really expected everyone to say YANBU, because we're talking about a bloody 6 year old. These replies are crazy to me. Punishments for 6 year olds?!

@YiddlySquat it isn't "my book", there's plenty of academic research on it. Parental involvement matters in terms of attainment.

Besides this, don't you worry about the way they might feel bein the one who hasn't done the work and having to tell the teacher?

I wouldn't support punishing a child who has forgotten to do their homework because they lost a worksheet once, and I wouldn't expect any primary school child to be taking home hours of homework every week, but I would expect that parents, regardless of their situation, should be able to make 20 minutes a couple of times a week to supervise their child doing homework. If they have tried and the child is refusing to do it then keeping them in at break to complete the work is reasonable.

Yes, I would tell her to do it - teach her to respect the school and the teachers. You will want her to do the homework when she is in her teens, won't you? Things like that should be fostered from the start.

On the face of it, one would think there should be a simple way of whizzing through the HMWK with her. If 'wow' words are adjectives, then surely she could be encouraged to find some adjectives that are new or interesting to her? Likewise, if she knows the spellings, she could write them out in different colours/styles or even make them in playdough/paint or something?

If she really is being difficult, perhaps there's an underlying issue? Is she generally bored with school and this is the tip of the iceberg? When I was six, (in the dark ages!), only one reading book was supplied for the whole year, which we had to read every day. There was no additional reading matter and I wasn't allowed to being my own book in. I really and truly hated it and dreaded every second of reading time, which was also super noisy.

Hopefully, your DD isn't having an experience like that, but could she be generally frustrated with school, and this is showing up in her behaviour around HW?

Incidentally, it may be making things difficult for the teacher , who may be encouraging everyone to do their HMWK as a rule to support the slower readers? That would make your attitude appear difficult to them.

Don't do the homework if it bothers you so much and tell the school your child won't be taking part in the homework exhibition, I'm sure they won't force you too
It's not that much of an issue but if you tell your children not to do homework at primary school don't be surprised if they refuse at secondary school because after all you've taught them it's not important.
Quite a few jobs do require work to be done at home and you can't just turn round and say oh I didn't do it because it's my time.

You must not earn a lot then. My DH earns oodles and because of his job and expectations he often has to work long hours and bring work home. He gets the job done and has to take work home. You rarely earn into the top rate of tax by working a strict 9-5 and having a "work life balance".

Homework is there so they can practice and reinforce what they've learnt at school.

I don't know why parents don't value education and studies. It's not torture, it's just a spelling set and some numbers. Making sure the child's learning is reinforced and they are on the right track.

I personally don’t get homework at this age, but I do think getting into practice finishing set tasks efficiently is a good skill for later in school and life as even at work it helps me stay on track. I know the homework also helps as revision for the kids to reinforce what the kids have been learning and although my kid can be a pain in the butt about it when she finds it hard we are persevering. For my daughter it is building her resilience as she struggles to fail and it’s good practice for her to learn how to keep going when she finds things hard.

I do value education thanks. She goes to school every day, she did an extra- merit award, and encouraged others to do the same challenge - she even did a talk and presentation to her Year 1 class about how some children don't get to go to school etc. and she is thinking about a challenge she can do to raise money for UNICEF. She is a very able.

However, I do not value forcing a child who is obviously in actual distress, not just having a tantrum/strop - to do something that is absolutely not to their benefit. You go ahead and drag your sobbing child off the kitchen floor, tell them to suck it up and force them to sit at the table whilst they angrily write the word "because" through their tears of frustration and upset, and watch as they run away to hide under their duvet as they shout "I hate all of this" - and you can sit their with a smug smile of superiority knowing you've done the right thing.... I will not be doing that, thanks, instead I will continue to do applied learning, and talk to the school about how best to support her.