To not make DD6 (Year 1) do homework?

[Thesnailonthewhale]

She was 6 in December, an she's above age related expectations in all areas. Reading age of 8y6m.doing Year 2 maths etc

School are getting a bit uppity about her not completing the set homework each week. (Spellings, some maths sheets etc)

She reads every day without being prompted and is incredibly inquisitive etc helps around the house, plays creatively, is active.
She counts coins at shops, does puzzle books, can tell the time to quarters and halfs and (still working on 5 mins) - weighs and measures ingredients for cooking and baking etc. (all applied maths)

Should I make her do the extra stuff? I can't see the point personally.

The school’s policy on homework will be on the website. If you don’t agree with their policies, why have you sent her there?

Well, you're wrong. She knows school is very important.

I just can't have a six year old break down in tears, and curl up in a ball on the floor and crying "I hate this" again....over some fucking spellings.

Because she has to go to school and that's the only catchment one.

What a ridiculous statement.

Nonsense, she has kids in her class who still can't read CVC /CVCC words and don't know their number bonds to 10.

They aren't doing the homework that says "subtract a single digit from a double digit, do this ten times".

My 6 year old DD doesn’t like doing homework, and when she complains I ask her if she thinks I like doing the dishes. We have to do things we don’t like sometimes, that’s life. If it’s too easy ask for harder stuff or find some harder stuff online and she can hand that in instead.

You needed to add the bit about tears in your OP.

You mentioned that she is ahead so as the reader, we assume that the homework is easy and would take 5 mins.

If the spellings are too hard then Yanbu not to do the homework. If your dd isn’t used to finding something difficult and having to practice/learn then there are other ways to teach that lesson. It doesn’t have to be spellings - it can be anything from learning to skip to a self care task like brushing the knots out of her hair.

I teach 5 and 6 year olds and I have a 6 & 9 year old at home. If I had an issue with homework I would speak to the teacher. I would also appreciate a parent meeting with me and outlining their concerns and I would see if we could address them. Telling your child she doesn't have to do it shows a complete lack of respect for the school and the teacher. It's also important for children to know that sometimes they have to do things that they don't want to do as it is preparing them for the real world. They can't just opt out of things in the workplace because it's boring.

Because she breaks down in tears over it all.

Seriously, I'm January, she threw a pencil across the kitchen, broke down in tears, and slipped off her chair, curled up in a ball and cried "I hate this".

What am I supposed to do? 😐😐

I've tried bribery, reward charts, insisting, getting angry, having patience, making it a game.

As soon as she realises it's homework, it's a refusal

I do applied learning in other ways as previously mentioned.

YANBU if it’s upsetting her. Have a chat with her teacher. My DS didn’t mind homework too much at that age so we cracked on but I know other kids really struggled after a full day at school.

Our headteacher ended up scrapping it completely for KS1 and it now only starts from yr 3 onwards. Although we personally didn’t mind it before it has been much more suitable.

I'm not being funny but if she is doing that, then you definitely need to get her to do the homework. Her reactions to it all are appalling, and jsut giving up isnt the answer.

She sounds very bright. Ask her to do the sheets - they’ll only take her 5 minutes if she’s as clever as you say!

I don't tell her she doesn't have to do it..

I've told the teacher we don't do it for the reasons mentioned.

They say she has to do it. I ask them how I can force a crying, angry child to write 5 WOW words on a piece of paper...

I might be able to do the spellings one at a time during a whole week... Bit she already knows them and will bitterly hiss them out in a parrot fashion.

I can't beat her into submission..

If she'll do them! Sometimes the stars align and she will do it.... But that's like 1 in 20

Actually I’ve seen reports on this and my friend wrote her dissertation on it. It only becomes beneficial around year 5/6.

How does she react when the teacher asks here to do work?

So you'd pick up a hysterical, sobbing child and force them to write the word "because" ?

This isn't a tantrum she's having, it's a breakdown of emotions. Trust me,.I know the difference between her "tantrums" and her breakdowns.

That really depends on what the homework is.
If you’re telling me that learning your times tables before Y5 is pointless, I’d call BS.

The way you described her, it sounded as though she’s an engaged and curious learner. Why wouldn’t she want to do them?

She's quite compliant in school.
She's very compliant in every way at home, just not over the homework where she's expected to sit at a table and do the work.

If I do the "same" work in different ways she's fine. I can be writing a letter or something and go "oh DD, I forgot, how do I spell 'should'", she'll be "mama, it's okay , it's s-h-o-u-ld"

But if I ask her to sit at the table with her spellings... It's WWIII

I think you check her spellings with her as this is important as it is building the blocks for harder words. If she is bright then she needs harder homework. Remember that just being able to read is not enough you have to build comprehension too. I say this with a dc who was very bright and struggled with boredom with homework at that age but you need to work with her teacher to find ways to inspire her and stretch her. We chose not to do the set reading books for example but I logged in the reading book what ds was reading.

My daughter was similar and the school was a lot more understanding than yours!

No homework is worth damaging your relationship with your child over. Save it for secondary.

There is no evidence homework at this age is beneficial.

And maybe consider longer term if this is the right school.

I have no idea 😔

It's been like it since reception. Always above age related expectations and always a struggle to get the work done at home. (Without resorting to tactics)

I've even resorted to making "puzzle pages" that duplicate the expected homework, which she will do.

It's so weird.

Does her teacher know that she doesn’t like studying at home? If she’s compliant at school then the teacher is probably assuming that she’s compliant at home.

Smaller classes, uniforms, and primary homework among the least effective ways of boosting school performance - The Sutton Trust https://share.google/MlqTke0E7GJuiMyLY

So you missed out very important context in your op.

if hw is a battleground, explain that to the school so they can help from their side. Take some time off from attempting it in the short term then try reintroducing