To not make DD6 (Year 1) do homework?

[Thesnailonthewhale]

She was 6 in December, an she's above age related expectations in all areas. Reading age of 8y6m.doing Year 2 maths etc

School are getting a bit uppity about her not completing the set homework each week. (Spellings, some maths sheets etc)

She reads every day without being prompted and is incredibly inquisitive etc helps around the house, plays creatively, is active.
She counts coins at shops, does puzzle books, can tell the time to quarters and halfs and (still working on 5 mins) - weighs and measures ingredients for cooking and baking etc. (all applied maths)

Should I make her do the extra stuff? I can't see the point personally.

Homework got done because it was part of going to school if I wanted to have school the way I wanted it done I would have home schooled

I don't understand why the homework isnt differentiated. There should be challenge embedded within it if she is very high achieving. Schools shouldn't be sending home a one size fits all assignment amd nor should there be an over reliance on sheets. This often comes up on mumsnet and often its because schools aren't differentiating thoughtfully enough.

It didn’t read like that in your OP. Others thought the same as me.

Obviously not. My point was that you said she has to go to school, and that's not exactly true

Either you can home school her, or you can make sure she does the homework they set her

Why do you think you somehow have this magical third choice?

I agree.

There is a 3rd choice, and it's not magical. Just don't do it. She's 6 years old, it is absurd. My 6 year old doesn't do any of the homework set, she's not falling behind, she's happy and she enjoys her free time.

Or.... I can just send her to school and not do the homework...

Sorry

So you never once pushed back in anything your child's school did?

Never?

EXACTLY! Nothing bad is going to happen, she's 6! Fully behind you OP. I'd happily ban homework in a heartbeat. It is a hill I will die on!

My 13yo doesn't do homework either, but that's more to do with him needing home to be a safe space away from school because he has SEN and school is complex with a difficult history. However, removing that stressor has been amazing for him, he's much happier at home, he goes to school without any issues, he's achieving everything he needs, and his MH is vastly improved on where it was a couple of years ago.

Pp said she sounds like a curious and engaged learner. Doing the same thing she can already do several times over isn’t going to make her a curious and engaged learner anymore, what a terrible shame that’d be. I’ve seen so many kids switch off because work is too easy/repetitive and it’s literally a waste of their time. We need to be engaging and helping them think and problem solve, ie give homework options, that are quick to set / don’t have a big impact on teacher workload.

If she does do additional learning activities at home, they need to benefit her, otherwise there’s not really any point to it?

No why would i? They school hundreds of kids not just mine they dont set homework because they have nothing better to do

Haven't rtwt

Your daughter sounds a little like mine. She is more than capable when it comes to homework and she loves learning, but as soon as it's something like homework where it feels there is some judgement on performance she hates doing it.
Ultimately we do do it, and when she makes mistakes or feels aversive to it we try and talk through those feelings in the moment where possible.

I don't think the teachers in my school would mind your approach - she's still learning in a different way. I do wonder how she will cope when homework becomes more mandatory in your situation, but then again none of us have a crystal ball to know what your daughter's feelings towards homework will be by that date when she's older. I think you should go with what you feel is right

Well, that's strange that you have never once questioned them or asked anything of them etc.

Again, see how that works out. Why should the other children have to do homework and yours doesn't? That's going to be really great for your DD...

I'm sure her peers will love it when she doesn't have to do homework because her mum thinks she's special / better than the rest of them

I don't think homework is particularly beneficial at that age, but I think if you chose to send your dc to a school it's reasonable to expect you to follow the rules of that school.

It doesn't sound like doing the homework would cause either of you undue hardship.

I've never made my kids do homework. From starting school until they were about 9 years old, one enjoyed doing work put in front of her, the other would break down in tears. So one normally did it and the other didn't. We read with them everyday and they read on their own a lot (not always the school book, and neither would write about their reading). We did math problems all the time as they came up in life and we did lots of day trips that had educational value. They were both above average in tests. In infants, their individual teachers seemed fine with it, one telling me she didn't think they'd get anything out of it. The head of year was annoyed but I ignored her after she laughed while saying her own child cried over homework most nights. After yr2 we moved and the new school were not worried about it not being done at all, saying that homework was given to keep some parents quiet, not because it was good for the children's learning and that the kids would gain as much from more time reading for pleasure or outside playing.

After they turned 9 there was more interest in it from both of them (the nature of the work changed form sheets or craft projects into finishing work they had started in class.) and they both normally did it. Now they are 6th form age and do it, whilst complaining loudly, because they want to do well in their studies.

Not everyone has a choice of schools...

My son is 13 and has never done homework. I can tell you with absolute certainty that no one in his class has ever questioned it or cared, i'm not sure they even notice to be honest. They certainly have never said anything about me thinking he's special, that's an odd assumption!

It's working fine, apart from the grumbling from the teachers...

I couldn't care less if other children do the homework or not.

I don't think she's better than them, I think it's causing a huge issue for my daughter...and for what?

I have asked questions like i do at the shops or at work but no I have never questioned them you seem why send your child to school of you want to control what they do just home achool them

And no to me home schooling is not the answer but you to come across as rebelling for the sake of it

My DDs are in secondary now, youngest is year 7. For both of them, I told their primary school teachers that we would not be doing homework beyond spelling and reading. Reading they both did anyway, unprompted. Spelling we did on the way to school.

Primary age children need time to rest, and time to play, for proper cognitive development, and better mental health.

Have a look at a book by Alfie Kohn - the homework myth. It’s an interesting read. Homework is simply school policy, and reading around the topic may give you the potential to challenge this with the school.

With my 7 year old, I usually do the homework with him. Do you think co-creating would help her? We usually set aside a few mins after tea on Sunday, and before bath - I find this winds the weekend down.

For example We might do a maths worksheet practically and I’ll just write the answers on the sheet; sometimes he’ll draw and I’ll annotate and other times we use the computer together and print.
To give an example we used AI to do a poster of a famous architect- 1. Looked through the photos of places we’d been. 2. Decided on the Riverside museum- Zaha Hadid and read a book about her. 3. Asked son What he knew. 4. Wrote down what he told me. 5. Asked him to read back into an AI with the prompt - use my words to make a poster. 6. Played with the prompt until he was happy with outcome. 7. Used Paint to edit/add own photos.

Another was build a Tudor House… unfortunately ours was sadly built in pudding lane so we burned it, filmed/photographed it and we wrote (I typed, he helped with ‘facts’) the teacher an email an with the attachments about why we couldn’t hand it in.

I couldn't agree more. They are little for such a short amount of time too, I find it so sad that they are at school for 6.5 hours a day, 5 days a week and STILL the expectation is to do more when they are home. They should be spending time with their family and playing with toys. What a sad world we've created whereby primary aged children have to bring work home with them.

I think my DS is similar to your DD in terms of ability and intense responses to getting things wrong. He's autistic. I'm not saying your DD is btw, but you've mentioned possible ND above.

We do homework at the same time every weekend: Sunday after lunch. I sit with him to do it, so it's special 1:1 time with me, which he enjoys. He gets some tablet time as reward afterwards. A lot of the time, the homework is beneath his abilities. We do it anyway, because sometimes you just have to do stuff.

He does absolutely explode if he gets things wrong and we're working on that. I agree that it's horrible to see your child upset like that but also he has to learn to get things wrong and carry on with life.

Like DinkyDiggies, I try to get a bit creative with the homework on days when its difficult. Maybe I do it, and he marks it (correcting my deliberate mistakes), or he types the spelling on my laptop, or do the spellings out loud as we walk to school. Or maybe I'm doing my work alongside him doing homework. Or we take it to a cafe and do it there.