A bit of background: I’m part of a friendship group of women in our mid-40s. We’ve known each other about 4–5 years through a sports club and most of us have kids.
For most of the time I’ve known them I’ve been self-employed, but I didn’t properly go back to work after my second child. I do a bit of graphic design for a couple of clients, but my DH has a very full-on job with lots of international travel, so that arrangement has worked for us. However, there’s always been a bit of an assumption that I’m basically a stay-at-home mum doing very little whose always done very little, which isn’t true. Before kids I worked in an agency and was at senior/executive level.
One woman in the group let's call her Sara, has been unhappy in her job for as long as I’ve known her. It’s a serious corporate role, fully remote and very well paid. They do though asI understand have huge financial commitments — four kids in private school (one boarding) and a big house build that went over time and budget. So leaving not an option but she often talks about wanting to do something different and has lots of “dream” business ideas — jewellery on Etsy, interior design, a gift shop, co-working space, etc.
Last year I decided I wanted to do something more myself, but it needed to fit around the kids and my DH’s travel. We live in a small market town so options are limited.
I randomly applied for a part-time job at a small antiques shop/interior design studio. I haven’t worked in retail for years, but my mum owned a bridal boutique when I was growing up and I previously worked with lifestyle and interiors brands, so I had a bit of relevant background. It’s only part-time and not much above minimum wage.
The odd thing is that the reaction from the group hasn’t been very positive.
A few weeks after I started, I was in the car with this friend when her husband called. She mentioned she was with me and we were on speaker. He hung up, then called back saying he actually wanted to speak to me. He said congratulations on the job, then added that my friend would have loved that job, that it would have been her dream job, and that I’d “stolen it”. Then he hung up.
It was incredibly awkward. She looked mortified and we just changed the subject. It’s never been mentioned since.
But since then her husband has been noticeably frosty with me, and none of the group ever ask about my job. If I mention it, the conversation quickly moves on.
Have I really “stolen” anything? She’s probably earning close to £100k, so I can’t see how a small part-time retail job would ever realistically have been an option for her anyway.