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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To raise washing with ex?

81 replies

Smellysusan · 07/03/2026 23:40

When DC is in my care, they are washed/bathed every day. They genuinely get smelly without (7 year old) around their bum area.

Ex never washes DC, even when they’re there for five days at a time.

I know we both have PR but AIBU to raise this? Am I being OTT?

OP posts:
ShakeNCake · 09/03/2026 11:14

If he is dirty after wiping you need to go over toilet habits. You could also get flushable wet wipes to make sure. Other than toilet hygiene he should't smell too bad, its not like they have smelly sweat at this age, so it would only be if he's playing in smelly things and getting mucky. Its good to build a good hygiene routine though, so perhaps you could put it to ex that way to encourage at least one bath/shower while there

Itsmetheflamingo · 09/03/2026 12:37

OneTealTurtle · 08/03/2026 23:41

Nope. A bath/shower every day is not healthy for their skin or their hair.

2-3 times a week is more than enough.

skin conditions aside. A daily wash or shower will not affect the skin

GrokAndGemini · 09/03/2026 20:21

OneTealTurtle · 08/03/2026 23:41

Nope. A bath/shower every day is not healthy for their skin or their hair.

2-3 times a week is more than enough.

It’s really not. Little children get grubby and dirty during the course of the day. It doesn’t take more than 5 minutes to get them in and out of the bath/shower, and in clean underwear and clothes. They smell fresh and sleep better. It sets them up for good hygiene habits later in life.

You don’t have to use scalding hot water that dries their skin out — just adjust the temperature.

RvLl · 09/03/2026 20:22

It’s weird he doesn’t wash them, but a properly wiped bum won’t get smelly after a day.

takealettermsjones · 09/03/2026 20:28

GrokAndGemini · 09/03/2026 20:21

It’s really not. Little children get grubby and dirty during the course of the day. It doesn’t take more than 5 minutes to get them in and out of the bath/shower, and in clean underwear and clothes. They smell fresh and sleep better. It sets them up for good hygiene habits later in life.

You don’t have to use scalding hot water that dries their skin out — just adjust the temperature.

I don't think anyone's suggesting that they don't wash their kids' hands/face or bath them if they get actually dirty.

Tootiredcantsleep · 09/03/2026 20:35

GrokAndGemini · 09/03/2026 20:21

It’s really not. Little children get grubby and dirty during the course of the day. It doesn’t take more than 5 minutes to get them in and out of the bath/shower, and in clean underwear and clothes. They smell fresh and sleep better. It sets them up for good hygiene habits later in life.

You don’t have to use scalding hot water that dries their skin out — just adjust the temperature.

5 minutes 😂😂😂

To run a bath, get kids to come upstairs. Then bag them to undress whilst they get distracted, eventually get in, then they want to play. Then helping with hair washing (mine are primary age but still struggle with this, then nah them to wash. Watch as they wash their toys and not their pits. Nah again. Get them out, then one has a meltdown because they don't want to get out. Then the other one picks the melty ones towel and argument ensues. Eventually they get out and at least one refuses to dry/put clothes on.

Ok, it's not THAT bad every time, but it's a 20+ minute job minimum. 2-3 times a week here because that's bad enough.

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