What is considered rich these days??

[Soccermomsavestheday]

So my husband and I live a pretty decent life but not one that warrants being called ‘financially out of touch’ and ‘how the other half live’ in my opinion which is just a couple of example of my sil many comments towards us.

My husband earns around £250k a year, I don’t have to work so don’t. We live in a nice 4 bedroom detached house with a lovely sized wrap around garden. We’re lucky enough to send our children to private school. We don’t go on extravagant holidays or wear high end designer clothes etc. We both drive Range Rovers but one is second hand (5 years old). And bottom line we have worked really hard to be where we are but don’t consider ourselves ‘Rich’ more so comfortable that we can live a modest life without financial restraints

it really bugs me when she says stuff like ‘you wouldn’t know what it’s like to budget’ and ‘it’s alright for some’ etc. I do budget monthly and am very much aware of how much things costs etc

Am I being unreasonable in this situation?

Not 7k (it’s £3.5, and nursery is £3.5)

No I didn’t mean that. It was the phrase used by someone who commented on my comment

Not rich. But you are well off, and on the coat tails of your DH. From experience, people who are fully financially supported by a spouse seem to be the most bitter and vocal about people on benefits... like your SiL.

There is a massive difference between budgeting to be sensible and know where your finances are, and budgeting to see what cuts you can make to afford the essentials.

Stay humble OP, because you could be your SiL in the blink of an eye.

I’m not sure you read what I wrote. My mortgage and fees together are £7k.
mortgage is £3.5.

1. Only if you know those choices are choices or have access to someone who can help show you.

1. Some people's choices are limited by their capacity to even have those choices.

I don't think anyone is saying it's "just" luck. They are just countering the idea that it is "just" hard work. It is both.

What A ridiculous post.

"Rich" vs "well off" is just all relative. There's no objective standard. You're on a losing path arguing about that or getting offended one way or the other.

But I know that private school fees x3 and an expensive mortgage can quickly eat up a big part of a large salary, so budgeting is still an issue.

If you swapped the rovers for cheaper cars and sent kids to grammar over private then maybe you'd have enough money for holidays!

Husband is about to reach £250k soon. I still work a bit. Congrats to him (and you) for your hard work and your success. We don't really feel that rich, but we don't have what you have! We want to travel more!

No.

At 250,000 he can still pay in 60,000 and get tax relief and at 300,000 40,000 but as you rightly say it tapers to 10.000 at about 350,000. It’s then impossible to accumulate a pension and you rely on ISAS.

You're definitely doing very well for yourselves. But that doesn't mean your SIL should be making such comments. It's giving jealous tbh. Does she want you guys to suffer? Just ignore her if you can.

I've seen people on benefit packages equal to £120k salary and they claim to be poor, 8 children so large food bill granted.

From what you've described there, you're rich.

I think our idea of rich is now skewed by billionaires, and a few ultra flashy celebrities.

Most of us are still in the gutter looking up at the stars.

FWIW I consider myself comfortably off, but I'm much lower in terms of income, housing, cars, etc.

I think most of us have worked hard for whatever we've got, that's almost taken as read.

Rich doesn't mean you're at the "top". It encompasses a bigger range than any of the other categories because were all squashed into the "mode".

The barrister thing. Oh OP you’ve embarrassed yourself 🤣😭

It’s truly subjective. To the outside world I probably appear rich. But I don’t feel particularly rich financially. I’ve been a SAHM since I had DD2 and we have a nice lifestyle. But that’s mostly because I worked like a mad woman before I had my DDs when I was 41 & 42. I’m a single parent and I chose to Home Educate so I was able to spend a great deal of time with my now teenage DDs. We are all in good health, we’ve traveled the world together, we’ve had some unforgettable experiences…and a lot of movie nights at home 🙏🏻 That’s truly how I feel rich.

I consider myself rich because I have enough money to afford the lifestyle I want without worrying about it or working. But my lifestyle is not very extravagant. Numbers are a bit meaningless, baseline costs vary so much. I’ve been a very high earner and unemployed and I feel richer now than at any point inmy life. OP your post is completely ridiculous as your family has a high income and high costs, but everyone budgets. Your SIL is an arsehole but you are very privileged and do come across as out of touch.

To be able to pay the ever increasing bills for just the basics in life withough going hungry or going into debt would make me feel wealthy. Am wondering why you need Range Rovers, two of them , though? lol
Are you farmers?

Why don’t you work @Soccermomsavestheday? Even if you don’t need to? However much ny husband earns I always wanted to have my own income and work is part of my identity.
Children are only small for a period of time and even then private schools have longer hours and offera wraparound care. And most activities are included. My DH i divide most tasks between us.

Sure you have.

Relying on free childcare is having children you can’t afford, it’s ridiculous for you to throw that comment around to other people given you needed the free labour of other people to subsidise your lifestyle.

Good on you and hubby for getting a good education, not everyone gets the opportunity. I don't work and hubby earns less that 50k. Our mortgage is paid off, but my hubby would like to retire, just 4 years early, and we can't afford for him to do so. We have a decent holiday every year and mainly do ok, but my car is a VW UP and hubby has a van and a motorbike. That said I know some VERY rich people and would never mention their money to them. It's theirs they earned it through hard work and savvy investments.
I do think you are being a bit blinkered where your SIL is concerned though, you live a very different life to her and seem unable to acknowledge that.

It just sounds like you're showing off and drive a chav mobile

Depends where you live and how expensive it is, but I would say if you are able to have the lifestyle you say and kids in private school then you’re well off. Nothing wrong with that. I would say budgeting for you is different to budgeting for someone on less, or someone on more 🤷🏻‍♀️ personally I hate talking about money and avoid it at all costs unless it’s with DH, or with investments occasionally my dad. I just find it awkward when people bring it’ll up. Especially as a general observation of you do this do therefore you must be… it’s yuk

Very goady thread. Hark at all the women who are happy to be provided for by their DH’s earnings.

OP - my husband does similar work although we live in the South East so higher costs. I think it is all relative - but I wouldn't consider you rich in real terms.
I think you're well off.

And - if private school fees were proportionate to what they used to be to your husband's salary - I think maybe 15 years ago or more - you might have had the ability to become wealthy by buying assets or having a lot of savings. Now not so much. I don't know how old your children are but the private fees can really rise in secondary school. Much of what you describe is what the upper middles or successful middles would have taken for granted in the 60s and 70s. This is just my opinion.

The truly rich have land, assets and don't have to budget. Family wealth that can be passed on easily and might extend down to grand children and great grandchildren. We have extended family who benefitted from that. That to my mind is real wealth (without being an oligarch). When your maiden aunt can bequeath a Manor House to one son as the other will inherit the farm kinda thing. However, you live a life of ease compared to the huge majority of the country. I didn't work when my children were little and was very aware as I'm sure you are that this alone is a huge indicator of affluence in modern life.