BBQ etiquette

[BBQetiquette]

Aibu to think that if someone invites you to a BBQ and says you don't need to take anything, that you still take something? It's the family of my son's sports team that are hosting a BBQ. He's only recently joined and I don't know many people. It must be costing then a fortune. Surely I can't actually turn up with nothing? Husband thinks they've said take nothing so it would be rude to take something. Help me not make a social faux pas 🙈

YABU - the host said take nothing so take nothing
YANBU - you should take something

Not everyone wants a bottle of sodding wine ffs.

Bottle(s) of wine, Prosecco, whatever. One more than whatever you're planning on opening for yourself. Also maybe some crisps or something else in a packet that doesn't need to be prepared. Maybe chocolates.

Don't bring flowers unless they're already trimmed and displayed. imo. Don't bring anything they need to 'do something' with at the time.

(also, we're all saying wine because we assume the person could make use of it, either for themselves, or they can give it away/ serve someone else. Obviously I assume OP knows this person and can adjust the suggestion accordingly)

When they say you don’t need to take anything, they mean they have the food all catered. So no need to bring sausages or anything.

But as a polite guest, you still take a gift for the host. The same as you would if they were hosting a dinner party.
So you take a bottle of wine and/or flowers and chocolates.

In britain its common to say not to bring anything to let it be known that there is no expectation vs please bring some meat or drinks. But that doesnt mean you should turn up empty handed which could be viewed as rude. These are just social norms.

Pmsl at the bottle of olive oil. Please do that OP

Yes, in this instance I’d take a token thank you for hosting rather than contribute a food item if they’ve said it’s not required. Chocolate, flowers, wine/beers, posh biscuits! Nice treats that can be used on the day if the host chooses, but could also be put away for them to enjoy another time.

My ex’s friends held an annual bbq and supplied all food and drinks, catered to everyone. Very kind of them and always insisted no need to bring anything but I always gave a token gift for hosting which was gratefully received 🙂

I’d take some chocs or wine for the host, and my own alcohol if I was intending to drink. Taking something for the bbq might actually create more work for the host.

Sorry, but what's a posh crisp? Is it an unusual flavour combo but comes from Lidl, or an expensive bag of a regular flavour?

A thoughtful token gift is always appreciated plus a handwritten thank you note will ensure a classy stance.

Why does nobody say barbecue any more - it's always the horrible BBQ.

If I say no need to bring anything I mean it. I don't need flowers, wine/chocolates I don't like etc. I'd rather people didn't waste their money honestly. But if they did bring something, I would obviously be gracious and thank them. But flowers might mean needing to look for a vase when they are busy. Chocolates/wine could be kept for later or shared so nice idea.

You take a gift for the host like flowers or chocolates. You don’t take food to be eaten at the barbecue.

For me any posh crisp comes in a bigger bag than normal 😂 could be Asda or M&S. Unusual flavour, ridged, whatever. I like the Co-Op ones, Chardonnay vinegar & some kind of fancy salt I think

If the host says to bring nothing, that means that they don't need anything for the occasion - in this case, a BBQ. But - and a very big but - politeness /manners says that you should always take a host present. Maybe wine/chocolate/flowers/biscuits, preferably wrapped or in a gift bag. This always applies, even if you are bringing a contribution to the occasion.

I wouldn’t bring along something like meat or burger buns but I’d definitely bring wine/beers and some flowers or a candle etc to say thanks.