Kids excluded from free trip

[AbiGabi]

Some of the kids at my dc’s school were selected to be allowed to go on an outward bound/activity trip where they had a great time staying in huts, having campfires, petting animals and doing some exciting and amusing team activities and sport.

The activity was free, and it wasn’t advertised to all parents in the year - only those who had been picked.

I only found out about it when I saw the school newsletter saying what a truly fabulous time the kids had had, and about 3 pages of photos showing them all havi nt fun. The school newsletter then banged on about how amazing it was that the school was to be able to provide this trip totally free to the kids who went, because the outward bound centre provided facilities for free so the school only had to pay for food and the coach to transport all the kids. Coaches are NOT cheap!

last month the school came begging for contributions to buy classroom equipment and I gave the school £50 not realising they were spaffing money on trips my dc wasn’t invited to!

Aibu to feel this is sharp practice by the school and unfair?

Op you sound way too angry over this, don’t be that parent, whatever your issues are about how you grew up money wise, your child doesn’t need to worry that his mum is raising hell in school over donating money that went somewhere else- they’ll be raising it as a reason why they’re watching money in the future

I'd probably be annoyed about this if I didn't agree with the selection criteria and I wouldn't make any more donations to the school and I'd tell them why! If it was something like 100% attendance awards as I don't agree with those due to them disadvantaging disabled children etc.

If it was something like SEN or whatever I wouldn't be bothered.

Do they do school trips for the other pupils as well? In that case its quite fair.
I remember when my son was about 13, in high school and the kids who had the worst behaviour in class were treated to a day out at a theme park, while the ones who had behaved themselves and not disrupted classes watched with their noses pressed up to the window.
Parents did complain but werent listened to.
Ask for your 50 quid to refunded OP

Just mind your own business this doesn't effect you. Don't ruin things for others

No of course not. I’d have been happy my kid got a free trip! I’m not a saint 😆

I don't often post but I had to reply to this thread as it absolutely shocked me.

I'm a teacher . In a local authority school.

There are so many different reasons your child will not have been taken and the others have . They could be SEND, PP, young carers, in care, victims of trauma or abuse.
Schools have no money .
This may have been funded from any source such as the pta , private donation, pp money, cla money.
The fact your miffed your kids didn't go is bonkers. I can honestly assure that those children taken will have been chosen for a specific reason , and if you complain about it you will be THAT entitled parent.
Be happy a group of children got an experience they probably will never get again.
This stuff, parents moaning about why their child hasn't been selected for xyz, is what grates on teachers because we can't always tell you everything about everyone .

I really wouldn’t expect the newsletter to say ‘And look at all the poor children from poor families who needed a handout to go on a camping trip’.

But financial need could still be a key factor.

You are failing to consider how children behave.
Children can be very unkind and being seen as poor will 100% result in some bullying.

The school should be transparent but maybe unless they're asked they won't divulge information. Id want to know the criteria and I dont think its inappropriate that you ask.

Absolutely! It’s usually for those pupils who are from low income homes/ experience hardship who would never have this opportunity. I’d say don’t make a fuss, if you insist make sure you’re discreet and don’t embarrass vulnerable people.

Well I think that’s plain wrong. By telling children to hide their poverty, we make it harder to talk about poverty in our culture. We add to the shame.

Instead what we should do is explain to the bullies why it’s unacceptable to bully children for circumstances entirely beyond their control.

Ask for copy of the budget... and ask if the school bursar has time to go through it with you. You might find that quite an eye opener when you see what comes in and what has to go out, whilst retaining monies for emergencies, that is one of the more fun parts of being a governor.

Sadly it doesn’t work like that

I think you’ll have a difficult time if you don’t quickly accept your child won’t always be included. Just wait until the birthday invites go out 🙈😂😂

You have NO information

I’ve just been asked to pick 10 SEN kids for a trip - do you wish your kid was non verbal ?

sometimes it’s kids who are in care or in poverty , sometimes you are offered stuff for just a small group

I raise money all the time and it goes to the nursery or year 6 not my kid still give and raise money

why don’t you offer to organise and run a trip for everyone?

It is wrong.

You are very naive to think anything is going to change it.

I wish it would. But it won't.

My family was very poor growing up. My grandma always used to say its one thing to be poor, it's another to be seen to be poor.
We were entitled to fsm, out of mum's pride pride we never had them because the fsm kids got a big bright token every day to exchange for their lunch and it was so humiliating that mum gave us 50p and most days I went without lunch so I could save it up and give it back to her.

In those days nobody noticed or cared if you went into the dinner hall.

Bloody hell - you want school children to be the vanguard in breaking the taboo of discussing money and dispelling shame over poverty? That's a bit of a burden, don't you think?

Look at the proliferation of benefits bashing threads, and the judgey comments people make about spending choices of those in poverty - "big TVs and money for beer" etc. As soon as people know who is living in poverty and receiving state support, they get all judgemental over how those people spend their money.

The referral can be made by GP/school/social services/adoption services...some areas you can self refer i believe. For us its a section of the local council - so my child was assessed and is officially a young carer.
They go to the local authority youth club, can access cooking lessons, fun trips, have ID to collect medication etc, and school are informed. There is an annual carer festival.in Southampton with our local authority pay for all the young carers to attend.
School can register them.as young carers just by self registration or via the local authority.
Our school give young carers extra pastoral time, support with homework, emotional support if needed (ie if the cared for was in hospital or end of life etc) and practical support - eg we dont attend parents evenings but have 1:1 face to face to give us that report, if child is sick an allocated support staff can drive them home rather than sit waiting to be collected by a neighbour or friend.

The support has far exceeded the expectations, and was worth the half hour conversation with social services ☺️.
Dm if I can help.

Presumably the school was only allowed to take so many children and they may well have been picked out of a hat, randomly. Your child may be picked next time, that's just how it goes.

If you’re not being given any more information, then it’s almost certainly none of your business…but I suspect you have reason to be grateful that your kids didn’t meet the criteria for the trip. This is one of those examples of equality and equity being very different things.

Well I think that’s plain wrong. By telling children to hide their poverty, we make it harder to talk about poverty in our culture. We add to the shame

They're not telling the children to hide their poverty. It's not the school's place to make the decision for the children to talk about their poverty. The school should not be effectively saying 'these children are in poverty'. Any more than they should be saying 'these are the children from very wealthy families'. It's not their place to divulge the financial status of the children, and more than that, it's none of your fucking business!

My kids school does this. Sometimes it does come from PP. But then sometimes it is cheaper local stuff and they still only pick a small group.

I don't begrudge the kids that are going and I don't doubt that this is a ring fenced budget that is separate from the classroom supply budgets.

The issue I always have with it is that there is rarely an invite where you can pay and they rarely do any trips more generally as it is stating equity reasoning, so no whole class trips in July or no regular museum visits to tie in with themes etc. So loads of kids won't go anywhere at all for sometimes a full school year. The suggestion that other kids will be able to have those experiences with their families is a) not necessarily true these days with lots of people on stretched budgets and b ) not the same as having out of school experiences with friends which is valuable for all kids. I do find that scouts full this gap to some extent.

I don’t see it as shameful but as a poor kid I appreciate them keeping it quiet: there are a hundred ways to get outed as the poor kid and they don’t need another one. Kids are cruel. There’s stigma attached to it rightly or wrongly. I’m personally glad they got this trip. Their families never would have been able to afford it and hopefully it gave them something to look forward to in a life where treats, trips and holidays can be next to none existent

was this using Pupil Premium funding perhaps?

Children in receipt of Pupil Premium are not 'unmentionable' in the sense you're talking about, ie, shame. It's 'unmentionable' because it's private, personal data about children and their families that the school should not be disclosing to everyone else. Think data breach. And a family's income has to be shockingly low to be in receipt of it initially.