Kids excluded from free trip

[AbiGabi]

Some of the kids at my dc’s school were selected to be allowed to go on an outward bound/activity trip where they had a great time staying in huts, having campfires, petting animals and doing some exciting and amusing team activities and sport.

The activity was free, and it wasn’t advertised to all parents in the year - only those who had been picked.

I only found out about it when I saw the school newsletter saying what a truly fabulous time the kids had had, and about 3 pages of photos showing them all havi nt fun. The school newsletter then banged on about how amazing it was that the school was to be able to provide this trip totally free to the kids who went, because the outward bound centre provided facilities for free so the school only had to pay for food and the coach to transport all the kids. Coaches are NOT cheap!

last month the school came begging for contributions to buy classroom equipment and I gave the school £50 not realising they were spaffing money on trips my dc wasn’t invited to!

Aibu to feel this is sharp practice by the school and unfair?

Really??? Wow. Is that common?

We had a similar thing in our school, though it was more day trips for activities rather than residential. It was aimed at children who were struggling in school either because they were in care or carers or were receiving mental health support within the pastoral team. One of my dc’s friends went. It looked like a lovely time, but I felt grateful that dd was identified as doing well and not needing the extra pastoral support because her mental health is good and she has a happy stable home life.

@Nottodaty why on earth would I make it “a thing” with my kids? They don’t even know the school asks for money and dh and I both donate.

That’s nice @mindutopia I will try to follow your good example and think happy thoughts (this sounds sarcastic now I’ve written it, but I do not mean it sarcastically)

I was just thinking how much my DD could have benefited from such a trip for the reasons you gave. The being out of school, a chance to relax and breathe and try new things with peers in a supportive environment away from the confident clever kids who were never slow to point out her shortcomings, to get praise and encouragement from adults other than us.

At all my kids’ schools SEN activities have been very openly identified and pupil premium is kept deadly secret. So it is making sense more about this trip now.

The ‘stupid school’ didn’t mention it because it’s no one else’s business. You might not see any shame in being poor but a lot of people do. If you found yourself in the position where you needed to use the food bank I doubt you’d be telling all your friends about it.

I’d ask more about this as it is unfair.

You can restrict your donations - just specify they must be spent on pencils for example and they really required to do this.

I think it’s poor practice that the school posted lots of photos but didn’t take the opportunity to explain the rationale for those invited.

For instance, they could have said if they’d received additional funding targeting a specific and limited cohort, that would have been more helpful.

could another issue be that the children themselves will be questioned by other children about why they were chosen?

The school does this every summer for every year group - a whole variety of non-academic activities the kids can choose from - parents pay (unless pupil premium).

There is also a very well funded pastoral support centre which provides a whole host of daily activities for kids with SEN and MH who can’t be included in lessons all day, it has its own daily programme - everything from crochet to films to baking to homework support. None of the kids in my dc school are made to feel bad about their MH and are always welcome to drop in.

This is an additional trip out of cycle, it’s just quite odd.

It may have also been that the trip cost was covered (the actual activity) but on the condition that the school can’t make students pay for it

that’s another thread. Why is it shameful to be poor? I genuinely don’t get it. I know exactly why my family were poor. None of those reasons were shameful.

As far as I can see it’s actually a lot of the rich people who have done shameful things (looking at you, ex-Prince Andrew)

Bear in mind poverty isn’t the only criteria for pupil premium.

You are being entitled. You have nonidea why the children were selected and it isnt your business. Thank goodness the school provides wonderful opportunities for children who may have a vulnerability you know nothing about. Life isn't a level playing field. School is trying to give a leg up to students who need it

That’s not the point. You don’t get to decide that for everyone else. It’s no one else’s business if someone has been using the food bank or in receipt of benefits. Just because you think people shouldn’t be ashamed it doesn’t make it ok to tell everyone.

Erm - I thought you said:

Perhaps I should have mentioned in the OP - the criteria for going on the trip was nothing to do with financial hardship or pupil premium. The newsletter did disclose the selection criteria but I don’t want to mention here as it could be outing.

So did they put the selection criteria or not? Or do you think they were lying about the selection criteria to prevent poverty shaming?

I don’t know how aware the general public are, but schools get even more money for children who attract Pupil Premium Plus. Currently £2630 per year. Those are children who are, or have been at any time, in Local Authority Care. Their current financial status isn’t relevant. Some will be adoptees, like my teen DGC who has never been included in a school trip, free or otherwise.

All schools have to publish their PP strategy on their website. Youll be able to look and see if they have funded residentials from it. This would be a valid use of PP fundung.

Yabu pretty normal and usually for a reason. Either they're excelling in a particular subject. Or they're falling behind in some way.

As a kid I was involved in a particular weekly trip to our local football team, met all the players and the rugby team, did film making and it would be considered a fabulous experience for someone who supported our local team. I, and the group I was with, were the "weird" unpopular, socially challenged kids. It was supposed to build our confidence and help our social skills I think.

I'm surprised you donated so much to the school previously when you think your children are in need of charity.

I mean, you have no clue what the criteria were for choosing the children who went. They could be on pupil premium, they could be young carers, they could have other, invisible to you, needs.

So yes, YABU!

Ok the stated reason wasn’t pupil premium, so initially I thought that meant it wouldn’t have been any part of the criteria.

But now I realise that pupil premium is not typically disclosed because people find it shameful.

Because I don’t find poverty shameful, I hadn’t considered it would be necessary to hide that criterion.

I'd assume it was FSM/PP.

@AbiGabi I’m sure you wouldnt. It’s just being that kid when I came back to school I did get a little bullying - one from a child’s who said they couldn’t understand why I went as it not like I could afford to buy an actual canoe like them.

Only as an adult can I look back at enjoy the opportunity it gave me, at the time there was some blow back and it wasn’t nice -it’s not great being the poor kid especially when you think in my naive child way no one really knows. Like you said your children aren’t even aware.

Just an observation from a kid who should have been asked to go on trips for the less well off but never was because my parents had more pride and didn't let on to anyone we were on benefits or struggling.

Couldn't the school have offered all kids in the year group the opportunity, with those who could paying their way, if indeed the kids selected were not usually able to go getting it free.

I could only imagine how this would have gone down when I was at school given that many parents were struggling