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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude Neighbour

62 replies

SpottyDottyBanana · 05/03/2026 12:21

Next door neighbour had their second child in December.

When I saw my neighbour I congratulated her and said let me know when I can pop round we’ve got a present for you.

didn’t hear anything so next time I seen her I mentioned it again.

We did hear anything so I mentioned this to our neighbours on the other said, they said the same happened to them so they just past the present over.

It is now March and still nothing, neighbour thinks we should pass the present over like they did, I think parents are being rude.

AIBU to return the gift and get my money back?

OP posts:
TheFatCatSatOnTheMat · 05/03/2026 12:24

YABU

You bought them ‘a congratulations on your baby’ present not a ‘ticket for entry to come into your house’ present.

DanaScullysLegoHair · 05/03/2026 12:25

I'd guess your neighbour is either knackered, struggling has PND or just not up to entertaining anyone, especially those who aren't friends or family.

Try not to be offended or harsh. It's only been 3 months or so, they might be utterly exhausted and entertaining the neighbours is just not on their radar.

I'd probably leave it on the doorstep with a nice note.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 05/03/2026 12:31

I'd appreciate the gift but I would expect that a neighbour would just drop it in. I wouldn't expect them to come into my house! Why do you think that's what should happen? It's a strange assumption.

ilovesooty · 05/03/2026 12:36

Perhaps they don't want a visit from a neighbour. And you bought a gift because you wanted to. If your generosity is conditional on being granted entry to her house it might be better to return the present and get a refund. Did you offer any practical help if she needs it?

CinnamonBuns67 · 05/03/2026 12:40

Did you have a friendship with your neighbour prior to the birth of her child or her pregnancy? I'm assuming not by the way you've written your post. I don't blame her for not wanting you (essentially a stanger) to waltz in to her home to gawk at/snuggle her baby because "you got them a present". Presents don't give you access to someones home and children and those parents are not rude for not giving you it. Honestly take the presents back, you haven't brought those presents with the right intentions so doubt they'd want them. They've been far kinder to you then I'd be to my neighbour if they'd tried demanding to come over to give a present for the baby without building a relationship with me prior.

PinkForgetMeNot · 05/03/2026 12:43

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 05/03/2026 12:31

I'd appreciate the gift but I would expect that a neighbour would just drop it in. I wouldn't expect them to come into my house! Why do you think that's what should happen? It's a strange assumption.

I agree

PinkForgetMeNot · 05/03/2026 12:44

Just knock on the door and hand over the present

Weirdnailhelp · 05/03/2026 12:44

But that’s weird as I would feel awkward saying - yes come around so you can give me your present. Just hand it in.

Parsleyforme · 05/03/2026 12:46

I don't think they're being rude. Are you actually friends or is this just someone you live next to? I wouldn't particularly want my neighbours to come round for a present-giving ceremony, but it would be kind if they came to the door with the present and if the baby is awake I would invite them in. Getting me to think of when you can come round in between naps, then me telling you, maybe you're busy and we have to think of another day etc. is adding to my mental load. It's also awkward for me to say "please come round on XX day to give me the present" and making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Just go and knock the door with the present and hand it over?? (And ask if baby is awake as you'd love to hold her for a couple of minutes if you do want to)??

BudgetBuster · 05/03/2026 12:47

Did you buy the present as it's a nice thing to do for the child... or did you do it because you want to go into their house dor some strange reason?

Bring back the gift if its the latter. I find it so strange you wouldn't just knock on the door and hand in the gift? A post partum parent really does not need the neighbours popping in.

Onelifeonly · 05/03/2026 12:47

She can hardly ask you where her present is, can she? That would be rude. Also the fact you've waited so long makes it rather awkward now

Clementine12 · 05/03/2026 12:49

Have you had babies yourself? Do you realise in those early weeks that entertaining your neighbours is not a priority? She hasn’t been rude, just not responding.

Sparkletastic · 05/03/2026 12:51

Leave it on the doorstep or return it.

Solost92 · 05/03/2026 12:52

There is no gift in the world you could have bought that would make it worth hosting a neighbour in my house. You don't need to go in their house to give them a present.

Roundofapause · 05/03/2026 13:00

I agree with the other responses. It's really kind of you to get a gift but it should just be dropped off. I know when I had a newborn it was a nightmare trying to do anything but look after baby - that meant housework was neglected. I didn't want anyone visiting and judging!

youalright · 05/03/2026 13:00

Until you can be arsed to come back and tell us if you are some random neighbour or actual friends who socialise together its impossible to say

Somerford · 05/03/2026 13:01

I honestly could not be arsed with entertaining the neighbours when I was sleep drived and looking after a newborn. If you bought a gift with good and kind intentions, just leave it on their doorstep and do it without placing obligations on them that they didn't ask for. If you bought it thinking that it granted you some kind of entitlement to access their home and their baby, do them a favour and return it.

BauhausOfEliott · 05/03/2026 13:04

Surely the normal thing to do is knock on the door, congratulate them, hand them the present, say 'I won't come in because I'm sure you've got more than enough on your plate with a newborn' and then leave them to it?

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 05/03/2026 13:14

I agree with everyone else.

Those early months are exhausting and the last thing she probably wants to do is feel she needs to entertain the neighbours.

It could also be she is so tired and has a lot on her plate that she hasn't given it a second thought because she has a million other things to think about.

Either way, I think the best thing to do at this point is knock the door and leave the gift without any expectations of her.

HoskinsChoice · 05/03/2026 13:22

Onelifeonly · 05/03/2026 12:47

She can hardly ask you where her present is, can she? That would be rude. Also the fact you've waited so long makes it rather awkward now

This! Can you imagine how rude she'd be if she rang you to say she is ready for you to bring her present around.

You are being very odd!

NewPinkJacket · 05/03/2026 13:24

Lol, do you think a present is like some sort of baby viewing currency?

Either give it to them in good faith (which you could've done in December), or don't give it to them at all.

I can't see them being fussed either way.

90sTrifle · 05/03/2026 13:24

TheFatCatSatOnTheMat · 05/03/2026 12:24

YABU

You bought them ‘a congratulations on your baby’ present not a ‘ticket for entry to come into your house’ present.

I completely agree with this! Stop being so intrusive. It sounds like you just want a good look at the inside of their home rather than just congratulating them on their new baby. Normally, people would just hand over the present.

pinkdelight · 05/03/2026 13:26

You're being weird, just give her the pressie at the door and leave her be, she doesn't want to be hosting visitors.

KatsPJs · 05/03/2026 13:36

Maybe you are not the centre of your neighbour’s world? Have you not got anything better to do than keep chasing this poor woman and gossiping about her to your other neighbour? Return the present and leave her alone - you’d be doing her a massive favour by the sounds of it.

7238SM · 05/03/2026 13:37

....said let me know when I can pop round we’ve got a present for you

If I'd had a newborn I'd be thinking 'Umm, NEVER!'

Were you close beforehand? When our neighbours had their 2nd baby a few months ago, I gave the gift and card to her husband when I saw him. No way would I be trying to 'pop in' and nor would I even want to disturb them by ringing the door bell.

Edited to say that there is only 1 rude neighbour in this scenario OP! 🫵