Starting to hate being motherhood

[ivise]

Hello.
who else feels like they been sold a lie about being a mum?
well in my early 30s I have realised that this is definitely not for everyone and only small percentage can do it how it should be .
I have a 6 year old daughter who I love but also realising that I am struggling to connect with her due to me actually hating the motherhood.
I wish that I was more educated about what this life will be prior to getting pregnant at 27. That bringing child not in your birth country will make you isolated , not having village is going to drive you insane and deprive of things . Not being financially on the rich side will make you feel like failure . Struggling to cope with your emotions let alone kids . Not being able just to get up and leave this miserable relationship with your baby dad will make you crazy . Let’s not even start school run, school birthdays .
I am definitely one and done mum but if I knew all this prior I probably be kid free .
I am definitely will be discussing this with my daughter , tell her reality of this . I wish I knew all this .

You are not everyone though are you? My health certainly HAS been damaged by childbirth and ten years on I still suffer the consequences.

It's easy to say 'how did you not know ' but parenting is idealised, the downsides are yes briefly talked about but then countered with 'it gets better, you are in the trenches ', 'it gets easier as they get bigger ', media etc depicts families as either 'waltons/larkins' or totally dysfunctional, reality doesn't feature. The dysfunctional seems too far fetched and other idealistic families are more appealing.
Add in naivety, wishful thinking etc and you have a recipe for women feeling 'conned'
I certainly did. 2 of my kids haven't and don't want to have DC. One did, and it was a predictable disaster from day one. I know which were sensible.

@cobrakaieaglefang literally this

with all due respect why did you choose to have kids ?

Your issue isn’t motherhood, it is your own situation.

Of course being a mother in a place where you have no help and support is going to be difficult. I’m not sure why you thought otherwise.

To say “nobody tells you….” is laughable. Terrible stories of motherhood are everywhere.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Being a mum is hard, and sometimes you just need somebody to listen, but don't always get that. It sounds like your relationship is the pivotal issue here. You say you would never leave her dad, but why? If he is making you miserable and you feel the relationship is loveless, then why live the rest of your life feeling that way? What is stopping you from going? As a woman in the UK, you can get a job, receive financial aid, move out and be free, with your daughter. There is no shame in choosing what is best for you, and definitely for your child, as she will not enjoy growing up in a miserable household.

That being said, what do you mean specifically by 'be honest' with your daughter? Your daughter is 6 years old; she does not need to hear you tell her about how hard motherhood is right now. I get the impression that you mean you want to communicate to her that it is hard and kinda advise her against becoming a mother in the future; but she is 6. Shes not thinking about becoming a mother right now. If you rant onto her about the hardships of motherhood, she will only interpret it as you don't enjoy being her mum, and make her feel insecure that something is wrong with her. Please, please do not do that. It is so damaging. It is your concern, not your child's. It is imperative that you share these thoughts with a trusted adult, friend, therapist, anyone; but not a child.