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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried about HR meeting

117 replies

Icarriedawatermelon1983 · 03/03/2026 12:24

My husband has been on a pip for a few months now and it ends very soon . He had a meeting with his boss on Friday and his boss has said he will be called to a HR meeting sometime this week ! He has had a lot of positive feedback from his boss during the pip , met all the targets required , and thought his boss has been happy with him. At Friday meeting he asked his boss if his HR meeting was a disciplinary , to which his boss said ‘ is shouldn’t be ‘ . He’s now thinking he maybe losing his job and is going to be offered a package to go . He’s worked there for 11 years . What does he need to do if this is the case . We are both so worried .

OP posts:
Nowwarm · 04/03/2026 10:18

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Notsosweetcaroline · 04/03/2026 13:30

hydrangea22 · 04/03/2026 08:23

Disagree with everyone saying that the DH absolutely must deserve to be on a PIP and that he’s lying to OP. Completely reasonable that there are no real grounds to this PIP based on performance, that they are nitpicking anything they can find which wouldn’t usually warrant something to this extent, and that it’s a cover for a decision/plan they’ve already made. This is classic corporate culture unfortunately, in some places. HR exists to protect the company that it’s employed by, over employees.

OP - I would prepare for your DH to be offered a settlement and look elsewhere. I wouldn’t stay in an environment like that, it’s very toxic.

But why would you do\ that to someone who does multiple people’s roles and supports the manager as much as he does so is relied on?

I mean sure it can happen, but it is seldom to someone the manager relies on and who does multiple, roles.

Pherian · 04/03/2026 15:01

Negroany · 04/03/2026 06:52

It's not against the law. What law do you think prevents this?

UK GDPR - proving that you are not breaching this is difficult and while an employment tribunal will accept the recording - the employer would have a right to remove you for misconduct. Just ask for the meeting to be minutes or recorded and avoid a bunch of drama for yourself.

StillTryingtoBuy · 04/03/2026 15:12

Icarriedawatermelon1983 · 03/03/2026 20:28

Maybe his boss just dislikes him

Your husband has been there for many years - does he have anyone supportive in the organisation, previous managers, old colleagues etc? He surely has a good reputation in the organisation having been there so long, perhaps he could reach out to someone internal for some advice / coaching / mentoring and he might feel supported in the organisation since he’s not getting that support from his line manager.

hydrangea22 · 04/03/2026 18:28

Notsosweetcaroline · 04/03/2026 13:30

But why would you do\ that to someone who does multiple people’s roles and supports the manager as much as he does so is relied on?

I mean sure it can happen, but it is seldom to someone the manager relies on and who does multiple, roles.

Easily, if there’s a mismatch with personalities with higher ups and he doesn’t fit the ‘mould’ otherwise. Happens far more frequently than people think. Plenty of ‘good employees’ experience this.
Could be that he genuinely feels he is supporting the boss, helping with workload of the team and can’t see any wrongdoing, but boss/higher ups have issues with him otherwise e.g. he raised concerns before, given opinions that corporate don’t want to hear, all whilst genuinely not doing anything wrong performance wise. They can’t get rid based on that alone, so bring in a ‘performance plan’ in order to find a legitimate solution or begin constructive dismissal. May not even be bosses decision but a strategy play from his bosses boss etc. It’s a minefield in some companies.

MellersSmellers · 04/03/2026 18:56

Take as much evidence as possible to support his claim that he's met all his targets, plus any statements/feedback on his performance from colleagues that have worked with him, and any action he has taken over and above the specified actions that would demonstrate that things have changed (any training that he's done in his own time, for example).

Notsosweetcaroline · 04/03/2026 19:04

hydrangea22 · 04/03/2026 18:28

Easily, if there’s a mismatch with personalities with higher ups and he doesn’t fit the ‘mould’ otherwise. Happens far more frequently than people think. Plenty of ‘good employees’ experience this.
Could be that he genuinely feels he is supporting the boss, helping with workload of the team and can’t see any wrongdoing, but boss/higher ups have issues with him otherwise e.g. he raised concerns before, given opinions that corporate don’t want to hear, all whilst genuinely not doing anything wrong performance wise. They can’t get rid based on that alone, so bring in a ‘performance plan’ in order to find a legitimate solution or begin constructive dismissal. May not even be bosses decision but a strategy play from his bosses boss etc. It’s a minefield in some companies.

Or it could just be a low performer bigging himself up to his wife. Also very common,

exhaustDAD · 04/03/2026 19:25

PIPs are generally designed to create a nice, safe paper trail to get rid of someone when otherwise there is no real, serious cause to get rid of them. I am saying "generally", because that is a practice I have seen mostly with big corporations, especially global ones... With smaller firms, maybe there's a better chance of it being genuine.
PIPs are never a good sign. During the PIP it is advisable to prepare as much as possible, get that CV in order, folio (if it's that type of a job), etc. That would be my prime advice.

There are aspects that can suggest if a PIP is being or not:
Does is set clear goals - and are these goals being measured through an OBJECTIVE and MEASURABLE metric? If the answer is no, then it is a sure sign that it is nothing but a glorified paper trail for the company to get rid of the person - Because if there is nothing else there, this will be a great "nothing" they can wave around: Hey, you failed your PIP, sorry, bye.

I have a personal story getting out of a PIP trap, and winning, but my story does not matter here. Good luck to your husband, @Icarriedawatermelon1983

Negroany · 04/03/2026 21:03

Pherian · 04/03/2026 15:01

UK GDPR - proving that you are not breaching this is difficult and while an employment tribunal will accept the recording - the employer would have a right to remove you for misconduct. Just ask for the meeting to be minutes or recorded and avoid a bunch of drama for yourself.

Individuals are not subject to GDPR, it's for organisations.

So, no, it's not illegal for an employee to record a meeting without telling anyone.

NotThoseKindOfEggs · 04/03/2026 21:19

Icarriedawatermelon1983 · 03/03/2026 20:27

Do they give you time to think about it ? I think if they say this then he’d have no choice other than to negotiate as it would be obvious they don’t want him there . He hasn’t received any invite to meeting yet but it’s ment to be this week . This is so nerve racking

Yes, if a settlement agreement is made, there should be at least 10 days to consider the offer and it also has to be reviewed by a solicitor or other legal rep.

I suspect this is the most likely scenario if your DH’s boss is making nonspecific mutterings about a further HR meeting and he hasn’t received any formal meeting invite to indicate a disciplinary hearing.

LameBorzoi · 04/03/2026 23:39

Notsosweetcaroline · 04/03/2026 13:30

But why would you do\ that to someone who does multiple people’s roles and supports the manager as much as he does so is relied on?

I mean sure it can happen, but it is seldom to someone the manager relies on and who does multiple, roles.

Because people like this are seen as a threat to some higher ups, "showing them up", etc.

They also tend to focus on the actual work instead of wrapping it up in a nice palatable little package and showing it off.

Pherian · 04/03/2026 23:40

Negroany · 04/03/2026 21:03

Individuals are not subject to GDPR, it's for organisations.

So, no, it's not illegal for an employee to record a meeting without telling anyone.

Yes, they are in this context because it’s used for a work matter. Feel free to test this at work and see how long you keep your job.

bananaboats · 05/03/2026 20:26

Icarriedawatermelon1983 · 03/03/2026 18:08

Why . They’d never know he forwarded his own email to himself he can then later print off if needed ?

Perhaps some places not an issue, obviously I dont know his workplace but in mine they can and do pull people up for this.

Negroany · 05/03/2026 23:37

Pherian · 04/03/2026 23:40

Yes, they are in this context because it’s used for a work matter. Feel free to test this at work and see how long you keep your job.

As a Head of HR, I'm very aware of the law around this.

Individuals are not subject to GDPR. You are simply wrong. It's not being used "for a work matter" (words that I don't think actually appear in the Act), it would be the individual making this decision and they are not a data controller or processor and not acting under direction of either of those.

Whether or not you can lose your job over it is an entirely different question. Something doesn't have to be illegal for it to mean you could lose your job. So yes, someone might * lose their job, but not because it is illegal.

*Depending on context, policies, contract etc. and in fact, legal advice I have had in the past has been NOT to dismiss over this. Though personally I prefer to ask people to confirm they are not recording and note their response in the notes taken. Then if they have done, it's dishonesty, and a lot easier to deal with.

RawBloomers · 06/03/2026 15:28

@Icarriedawatermelon1983 Has he been called into the meeting yet? How did it go?

WizdomE · 07/03/2026 19:24

Don’t worry. As the pip is ending it’s likely a normal fitness to work discussion. He maybe asked to do an occupational assessment which is normal. The employer these days have a duty of care. So I don’t think u should worry.

BeLuckyBlueDog · 09/03/2026 14:00

My recommendation is that a TU rep or "friend/observer" be brought to the meeting. You/they would have to check the company policy, but usually this is permitted as long as prior notice is given.

Shooting down arguments against, it makes everything formal - answer, if someone could lose their job it is already formal.

The advantage is you have someone who can dispassionately observe, which is something that is hard to do if feeling under attack.

My experience (I was. TU branch chair) is that in most such instances, either HR call the meeting off giving an email response or turn up with a pre arranged acceptable solution.

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