To think “you are always welcome” is not the same as an invitation?

[Sidebeforeself]

I have invited my best friend to my house many times.Sometimes she can make it, sometimes she cant. That’s fine of course. But when I invite her Im always specific e.g. “ Do you want to come over for a meal, you can stay “ etc and offer some dates.

But she never responds in kind . She just casually says ‘you are always welcome to come to me”. That leaves me feeling it’s up to me to say ‘ can I come on X date?’ Which makes me feel cheeky. Plus if she really wanted me to come she’d offer a specific invitation wouldn’t she?

We also have friends who are a couple who say this to us too. Am I right in thinking this is a half hearted invitation and if they really wanted to see me/us they wold be more specific?

I also agree. Have a friend who says exactly the same - except if I said great, I’ll pop round, she’s either at work, out or on holiday. She’s never in. So it’s pointless her even saying it. And she also never ever organises anything so the onus is always on me to put all the effort in.

You could reply with “I’m free on x day at x time” if it suits, if not arrange around it.
It is a flaky invitation.

Next time she says "you're welcome to come here anytime," say "that sounds great, how about next Saturday or th one after?"

She's doing the travelling and it's sometimes nice not to have to.

She's a casual communicator, you're a specific one. Neither is wrong or uncaring.

But shouldn't they just invite her to theirs in that case? The grandiose proclamation of being welcome is rather hollow without the inclusion of date and time.

You're right, 'Hard work' was a bit harsh.

But what I meant was, this doesn't sound like a situation that's going to change unless OP changes it, and she sounds very invested. So she needs to decide if that's something she's willing to do, ie actually suggest dates or not. If not, it isn't going to change. Expecting other people to change is rarely a recipe for happiness.