To think than more men should have vasectomies?

[BestBefore2000]

If they are definitely done with their family.
Why should it be on their partners/wives to have to keep on with hormonal contraceptives until 55?
But instead so many women just do this, having that responsibility on their shoulders for years, and increasing risks such as cancers and MH effects.
Stuff that!!

There is a general issue that the more effective forms of contraception - sterilisation, coils etc are becoming less easy to get on the NHS due to 'cuts'

But whats the cost of a pregnancy?

After having my 3rd baby at 22 I decided to be sterilised myself. I knew that if we split up and I remarried then I wouldn’t want have another baby to another partner/husband . If DH remarried then he might have wanted another .

Condoms? They work very well for us.

Stuff what? If you are in a relationship where the man chooses to have no responsibility with contraception, there's no need for you to stay with him. You have to accept what you are putting up with

@JenniferBooth I assume your partner doesn't want a vasectomy?

Just to say , we never split up at all . DH died in his fifties .

Or she has tubal ligation. Or they use condoms. Or the copper coil. Or they have sex vaginal penetration.

Most things have at least some element of choice involved. But absolutely he should have no right to insist she uses hormonal contraception, and she should have no right to insist he undergoes a medical procedure that for whatever reason he doesn't want to have.

@JacknDiane Exactly - I wouldn't put up with it. We'd had our baby - neither of us wanted another - so he had a vasectomy. I didn't force him, but he absolutely made the right and respectful choice.

@NoSoupForU None of these are comparable to a vasectomy. Failure rates for most of these much higher.

Its more likely to be because of the effectiveness of the coil now being known to be 8 instead of 5 years, meaning there are less removals and replacements being carried out, and the rates will naturally level out. Certainly where I live the nurses are always promoting a coil over other forms of contraception.

He doesnt actually ejaculate due to diabetes Hes sixty nine and im fifty three. I know its unlikely to result in pregnancy but i have opened a womens magazine to see the headline My Miracle Baby too many times to be complacent

@winnieanddaisy I am sorry for your loss x

YANBU. My DH had the snip for reasons similar to yours. As it happens, I can think of a fair few men who should have had vasectomies. Irresponsible, absent father arseholes.

That just isn't true. The effectiveness rate of the copper coil is about the same as a vasectomy.

@Mrspatmoresapprentice It's been so incredibly liberating for the both of us. Something we never have to think about or worry about at all ❤️

@NoSoupForU It most definitely isn't!!!!

DH had one and it’s been brilliant.

Is it, in the context of someone having a C/S anyway? I’m not sure.
I take your point that this is only a proportion of women.

I also think that a proportion of men won’t because they think they might have a baby with someone else if the circumstances arose.
There are definitely a proportion of men who don’t want to.

I wonder if any men ever have regrets or feel coerced into getting a vasectomy based on ‘its far too invasive for me to take responsibility dear’..

Yep I have found same. My DH is on waiting list for a vasectomy and we are a 50:50 team in parenting. Those of our friends who I know have had it are very much the same.
Those who say 'oh my husband would never do it' seem to have quite hands off partners in terms of parenting.

Unfortunately the ones who most definitely “should” are also the least likely to actually have it done

I agree. DH suggested it when we were done with our family, I asked if he could wait until we were 35 when we were sure we wouldn’t want more (35 for personal reasons I won’t bore anyone with!) that time came, he got himself booked in.

There was never any expectation on me to manage contraception indefinitely.

It absolutely is. They both have an effectiveness rate of about 99.5%.

I think it depends on which one in the partnership doesn’t want any more children. My husband would have liked a second child but I definitely didn’t, so I felt it was up to me to make sure I didn’t get pregnant again, and I would never have expected him to have had a vasectomy under those circumstances.

@NoSoupForU Incorrect. Has a man told you that?!!
Vasectomies are highly effective, with a lifetime failure rate of approximately 1 in 2,000 (0.05%) after confirmed negative semen analysis.