What would you think if an ex named his daughter your name?

[Itsnotforme]

I have a an uncommon, unusual name.

An ex, well more of a fwb named his daughter my name. Obviously it was a few years ago after we’d finished.

I just wondered would you find this a bit weird, or would you be flattered, or would you think nothing of it?

Just wondering because when I named my dc Id get really put off certain names if I knew someone or an ex or someone I disliked.

Yanbu - it’s a bit weird
Yabu - he’s probably forgot you existed

I’d think it was a bit weird because I have a very boring 80s name that no one would name their child today.

That said, I’d assume they weren’t naming their dd after me specifically. One of my dc has the same name as an absolute arse of an ex of mine. He’s in fact named after dh’s dad. I don’t associate the name with my ex at all.

I wouldn't think anything of it tbh. I doubt he even remembers you but knows he likes the name from somewhere.

I’d imagine it was more of his partner that liked the name and he just went along with it. Doubt he would mention it to his current partner as that would likely upset her.
FWIW our son has the same name as my partners ex, new husband. I came up with the name and had no idea, until around 2 years later when I was FB stalking (joking - casually browsing!) and found it.. my partner seemed to know and just brushed it off (it’s a fairly common name)
I do wonder if the woman thinks we did it deviously 😅

They are an ex for a reason, I wanted rid of them so don’t keep tabs on them, if they named their child my name it’s none of my business.

It happened to someone I know. She was still in touch with her ex husband as they have children. He remarried and they had a daughter and gave her my friend's name, which was an unusual name for the 2000s. Think a 50s/60s name such as Janet, Susan etc. She found it very weird. Later, she found out it was the second wife's idea as she thought my friend would be flattered and they could all live together.

I’d be pleased I hadn’t put him off the name enough to avoid it and think it slightly weird if he was the one suggesting the name (rather than going along with it if his wife liked it). But I wouldn’t attribute any deeper meaning to it.

If I somehow found out he had deliberately named the child after me, obviously I’d fine that weird not flattering.

What on earth!? Why would she want them to live together? Creepy!

Most definitely! We think it was because in the country she is from, it's normal for generations of a family to live together. Still, that's usually grandparents/parents/children, not ex wives!

I too have an unusual name, for an English person anyway. I don’t know anyone with my name, and neither does anyone I know. If a FWB or any sort of ex partner called their child the same name I would be surprised, because I’m probably the only one they ever knew with that name!

i’m named after my dad’s ex, my mum knew her too and liked her. I’m not sure they’d have thought of the name otherwise.

There’s no chance I would have chosen an ex’s name for my child. 😆

My ex boyfriends all have very common names so I wouldn’t have ruled them out (think Dave, mark, Chris type names)

I actually took more of a pause at giving one of my kids the same name as a friend’s pet 😀 (for avoidance of doubt, not Fido or Smudge…)

His DW likely came up with it and he knew better than to piss on the parade of a pregnant woman by casually mentioning an ex. TBH he probably lives in fear of being outed over it.

"AIBU to change my 3 year old's name, as DH said nothing when I unwittingly named her after his ex!" It's a classic MN thread.

It's a bit odd.

I'd be curious to know if the mother knows her child has the same name as her partners ex lover. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't like it at all.

Flattered, but I’d be outraged if I was the child’s mother

I think if you’d been in a serious relationship I’d find it kinda weird esp as your name is unusual. If you were both just FWB he won’t have mentioned you to his partner & presumably mother of his child as if you had meant anything more to him - it’s unlikely she would want to have named her after. So you could find it sort of flattering - or completely not -as it suggests you weren’t important enough to be talked about! Sorry lol. Or the mum loves that name & he’s just kept quiet for an easy life. But like you say if you were only ever casual / she would never find out you hooked up /or cared.

I wouldn't think anything of it, but I have a very classic name that's been in the top 10-20 since I was born.

I knew a girl that was named after her father's ex. It was an uncommon but not unheard of name. She didn't seem to mind. I wouldn't contact the couple or anything but it is a bit weird. He probably just really likes the name and I hope he was honest with his partner.

I would not find it weird or flattering.

I would just assume he liked the name.

Two of my exes names were high on my shortlist, one I probably could’ve got away with as it’s been a top ten name forever, but the other one no way. We were too known as a couple and it’s not a common name, so it’d have sounded weird to anyone that knew me pre husband. I’m still friends with him too and I think he’d find it a bit odd, as I would if he’d used my unusual name.

Luckily, I had a girl.

I think you’re overthinking this, and inserting yourself into a decision that had nothing to do with you

It’s possible to be aware of a name but simultaneously not associate it with people from your past.

Yes, you had sex with him but it doesn’t seem like it was a significant enough connection for him to be ruling the name as “yours” and therefore attaching a huge association with you personally to the name. Whether that’s negative or positive.

I therefore don’t think he named his daughter after you, ie it wasn’t in tribute of you, you likely didn’t come into the equation anything past a fleeting thought, if that.

Yes it’s a bit weird if it’s a very unusual name. If it was a more common name then I’d say, don’t flatter yourself, they just liked the name and didn’t pick it because of you.

My partner's favourite name for child number 2 is an ex of mine's name. I didn't mention the ex, and it is not a typical English name. But it's a lovely name and I have no ill feeling feeling for the ex. I don't have secret desires for then either! The past is the past for a reason.

Our child had that name.

Actually a similar thing happened to me - my first love named his kid after me, 20+ years after we split up! But I don’t find it weird - I can see why he would like the name - he is the type not to want a common name. In my case, the relationship is really far in the past and we have remained friends, though we can go a few years without talking. I felt strange when he told me but then I kind of like it, his daughter is a bad ass - I like that she has my name. His wife is awesome too! To me it sort of is a nice reflection of our friendship - I wouldn’t give a child a name that had negative connotations. You might not be romantically compatible but he clearly must think highly of you to give his child your name, take it as a compliment!

I would assume his partner liked the name and he agreed to it because it meant nothing to him.