To prefer head massages over sex?

[SpoonyPeachDreamer]

Honestly, I don’t know if it’s just me but there’s something about a slow, attentive head massage that feels more intimate and relaxing than most of the sex people are out here having. Maybe it’s the tenderness, maybe it’s the lack of performance pressure, maybe it’s just the way it makes your whole body melt but I’ll take that over a mediocre shag any day.

AIBU to think that in a world full of performative sex, a good scalp massage is the real underrated love language?

It sounds lovely to me.

Having my ankles and feet massaged by late DH was my thing. I miss that more than the sex actually.

I think part of what you’re getting from the scalp massage is complete focus on you; unlike a lot of sex, where two people are both trying to get pleasure, a scalp massage is just for the recipient. You might benefit from a relationship with a submissive man or woman? Really ask yourself: if someone expected absolutely NOTHING from you in bed (not saying you’d lie there like a dead fish, but I mean, you’re not doing any work for their pleasure and they’re not expecting you to), would you enjoy that? It sounds like maybe you’re sick of sex where it feels like more “effort” than it’s worth for the relaxation it should be bringing you. So yeah, someone on the more submissive side, as they will gain pleasure from your pleasure, and if that means scalp massages, then so be it.

Totally agree. It’s the best thing ever. I could literally sit all day having a scalp
massage and I’d never tell them to stop. There is never an inconvenient time and I am always in the mood. I’ve been saying for years its better than sex. 😂

This sounds like AI 🤨

But if real... just tell your OH to do whatever he's doing to your head but... elsewhere 😉

No, but then I'm not having mediocre sex.

Head massages are nice, mind. As are foot massages.

I would say it’s just better than sex (and I’ve had some very good sex). Head massages are just brilliant. I like a bit of pressure from fingernails (but not too much, don’t dig a hole in my head!). I’ve managed to get every partner over the years to indulge me 😊 I have sometimes come out of a particularly good head massage looking like Roy Wood from Wizard, my hair is one big bird’s nest 😂

I think a head massage triggers whatever that feeling is that some people get from ASMR; I’m too lazy to Google right now. It’s a shivery feeling but warm? Personally, I think a lot of people aren’t extremely able to explain or compare sensations well (I’ve had to learn since I have a lot of medical issues and doctors always want about as many descriptive words about the pain as possible), or else they’d realize that it seems to be the same “warm shiver” you get at the very beginning of a full-body orgasm (I’ve asked friends who enjoys ASMR to really THINK about those two feelings and compare them, and 90% have agreed). If it’s not, maybe it’s time to try a new way of either doing orgasms OR scalp massages 😂

Also, if you don’t look like a member of a 70s glamour rock hair band when it’s done, was it really a scalp massage?! 😂

No id rather have the sex. But a massage beforehand would be nice

Exactly 😂

Yes, agree. Had a ludicrously good looking young man massage my head in a salon about 20 years ago. Never went back - it was almost obscene! 😂

I loathe my hair and scalp being touched, the awful head massage at the hairdressers makes my neck and shoulders tense up

I’ve found my people! I absolutely love head massages and always joke to DH that if I won the lottery I’d employ someone to give me one every day. It’s definitely an ASMR thing for me, actually I don’t even really want a proper massage, more just someone running their fingers through my hair.