AIBU for complaining

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I was admitted to hospital on Sunday (22nd) with severe pains (I am 6 wks pregnant so the concern from staff was miscarriage)

I disclosed to staff I will not be keeping pregnancy due to MH issues and already having a SEND child who takes all my care and attention. Staff was fabulous EXCEPT for ONE...

I was sent for an MRI due to a brain tumour I have possibly growing due to the pregnancy hormones and was greeted by a doctor. She then refused to do the MRI and says to me verbatim...

"how could you when your baby is breathing and has feelings and can hear everything we are discussing right now " "I could lose my license due to women like you who don't have good reason to have an MRI" "Your BABY may come out disfigured" "I am not comfortable committing murder on a baby because of you"

My husband who was with me and myself were absolutely gobsmacked by this. It's no easy decision for us, we just cannot cope with another. No further explanation, we just don't want to do it because our son comes first.

WIBU to complain or do I just accept that this is what I deserve for my decision to terminate?

Absolutely complain - how dare this person talk to you like that! Sorry you are going through this

That's unbelievable

That beggars belief - I thought MRI's were safe during pregnancy?

This is strange given that fetal MRI is a thing.

If you were ordered an MRI by your doctor, who knew your condition, I am surprised the radiographer could refuse to do it but there are safety checks it is true. The way you were spoken too sounds horrible regardless and sorry you had to experience that. Can you go back to the doctor who is managing your tumor and explain?

Edited for typo

Aside from how completely unprofessional her conduct was, if she thinks your baby 'can hear everything we are discussing right now' she has no place in the medical field?!

I know. Isn’t it.

Absolutely horrific, I am so sorry how hard life is for you at the moment, definitely please complain so that she doesn't repeat her disgusting behaviour to the women coming after you. Awful.

I didn’t think doctors performed MRIs. Doctors request them, and other doctors report on the results, but technicians undertake the actual process.

yet another reason we should all be making audio recordings of our medical appointments. they get away with so much.

Are you sure it was a Dr? Any trained professional will know that at 6 weeks a Fetus isn’t breathing, and has no ears so can’t hear.

I am with other, sounds unbelievable

It shouldn’t matter what the role/ qualification was, no one should be speaking to you like that. I’d definitely complain.

Yes I would complain. Saying a brain tumour is not a good reason to have an MRI is awful. And saying they will be committing murder, that must’ve been so hard for you to hear. I thought if a doctor didn’t believe in termination they could/should pass you to another colleague? I’m sorry you had this experience and I would be contacting PALS

ETA: even if the fetus could hear, it obviously wouldn’t understand a word. What a ridiculous comment on the person’s part

I would have complained there and then.

Are you sure it was a DOCTOR?

how could you when your baby is breathing and has feelings and can hear everything we are discussing right now

If true this is so moronic i really struggle to believe a doctor said it. I have zero medical training and know this is total bullshit so its baffling....

Was your dh there when it was said?

Id this yoour interpretation or the actual words?

If true I'd absolutely complain but its beyond bizarre.

Agree with everything else that’s already been said:

It’s false that a 6 week old foetus could hear, let alone understand anything.

It’s false that a standard hospital non-contrast MRI taken of your head could harm the foetus in your uterus. There’s a tiny risk if you’re having an MRI of your abdomen, but not considered significant. There’s some risk if you have a contrast agent injected, but again small.

Even if it could harm the foetus and you wanted to keep the pregnancy, it’s your call to determine whether the risk to your health is important enough to take the risk to the pregnancy.

It’s unacceptable for her to voice any kind of value judgement about your situation.

Doctor or radiologist, I would absolutely complain.

I'm not 1000% sure she was a doctor but was dressed differently to the others. My assumption is a DR due to her saying about her medical license and the fact that when I arrived a different member of staff said he needed yo get the "higher up". I'm not sure other than assumption. Sorry should've clarified that.

But yes husband was with me, what I wrote she said is also verbatim of what she said. Absolutely no exaggeration, it was word for word.

Are you in uk?
I've never heard a dr reference their her medical license...

Yes! Oxfordshire to be exact x

I don’t understand why you went to hospital if the concern was a miscarriage?

You’re not keeping the baby so why the concern about a miscarriage?
Surely that would be the most positive outcome?

Why have you not had a termination already?

I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. Giving a personal opinion in a medical situation like that is completely and utterly unprofessional and you absolutely should report her.

Totally irrelevant; and OP doesnt need to provide this information to you.

Even if she wants to teminate; a miscarriage would require treatment.

Questioning why she hasn't had one already is overstepping.

I wasn't concerned of miscarriage. I needed an ambulance as as per 111 request and the ambulance team could not be sure of what the pain I had in my abdomen was.

It's a separate issue entierly but I've requested call backs from multiple clinics since I found out a week and half ago (only yesterday did I get the one clinics callback and this morning from another) however I do have complex medical issues so it's something that has to be monitored differently than others.

Even if the baby could hypothetically hear everything, the belief that the baby can understand things such as MRI and assess their level of risk to be born "disfigured" is the grounds for her to have to retake her exam board certifications.

I don’t understand the need to even question the op about this ? The details about why she was there doesn’t matter , the point is whoever this professional was she shouldn’t have said this to the patient .

and OP surely if your tumor grows this baby nor the child you have at home will have a Mum so regardless of the circumstances she should just do her job and keep her opinions to herself .
I think I would’ve complained within 3 seconds of leaving the room , and she would’ve got told on the spot what I thought of her opinion. You shouldn’t be questioning yourself this is bang out of order . She shouldn’t be working in a hospital if that’s how she thinks .

She shouldn’t be in a medical job never mind retaking exams . She doesn’t have the compassion to deal with people and she’s judgmental , you can’t have those qualities in the NHS .